"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Girlfriend is hanging out with former personal trainer (group setting)

AdamJ

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My gf is pretty in to the gym and she got herself a personal trainer about a year ago.

They ended their business relationship a few months ago but he still texts her random workouts or diet plans and gives her the occasional free session since they attend the same gym so they're on good terms.

He invited her to a power lifting event that he is competing in. Apparently it will be her and a few other people from the gym attending but my spidey senses were tingling.

Maybe it's just me but I think this is a bit inappropriate.

It's also seems to be a bit hypocritical on her part since she was quite upset about me attending salsa classes without her.

Do I have a legitimate concern or am I just being lame?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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bunjy

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AdamJ said:
My gf is pretty in to the gym and she got herself a personal trainer about a year ago.

They ended their business relationship a few months ago but he still texts her random workouts or diet plans and gives her the occasional free session since they attend the same gym so they're on good terms.

He invited her to a power lifting event that he is competing in. Apparently it will be her and a few other people from the gym attending but my spidey senses were tingling.

Maybe it's just me but I think this is a bit inappropriate.

It's also seems to be a bit hypocritical on her part since she was quite upset about me attending salsa classes without her.

Do I have a legitimate concern or am I just being lame?
Nah its cool man. In my experience most personal trainers have wives/gfs anyway and dont bother with clients or gym buddies.

Just keep your eyes open though.
 

Cloudtopsun2100

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HAHAH WTF man, I used to be friends with 2 trainers at different gyms. One used to tag every client he could and the other one would be trying his damn hardest to spit hot fire at every girl with a good body. Trainers are friends for hire, anything provided for free is MACKING. Diet plan and etc, invitations, you need to have an exit plan cause your gf is guaranteed to do something shady either now or in the future with him if she hasn't done anything before -- after all hes probably ripped and has a deep understanding of your gfs every curve from the training days
 

KingBeef

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Danger said:
Did she invite you?
THIS....

I agree mostly with all these posts (me being a former trainer I could tell you that happens a lot with the 35 and under crowd, not all but a lot do ) The key is "DID SHE INVITE YOU? AND IF NOT CAN YOU COME ALONG WITH HER?" I'm curious to see her reaction in any case....
 

bunjy

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KingBeef said:
THIS....

I agree mostly with all these posts (me being a former trainer I could tell you that happens a lot with the 35 and under crowd, not all but a lot do ) The key is "DID SHE INVITE YOU? AND IF NOT CAN YOU COME ALONG WITH HER?" I'm curious to see her reaction in any case....
In fairness I think your probably right here, it is very age dependent. All the personal trainers I know are 30+ and settled down with wife, serious gfs etc. I guess for a younger crowd it might be a different story.

I still wouldnt worry to much about it though OP. Just keep your eyes and ears open.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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BrainDamage92

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What I fail to understand is why are you wasting time writing while she is ****ing the trainer?
 

Suspens

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AdamJ said:
Do I have a legitimate concern or am I just being lame?
YES. Tight stockings, curvy bodies, rock-hard muscles. Even thinking about those stuff should make you feel hysterical.
 

mangotot

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I'd be more concerned about the fact she didn't want you to attend salsa but now wants to do this.
 

AdamJ

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Danger said:
Did she invite you?
No she didn't come to think of it.

I called her out on that and she said she wants to have friends outside of the relationship.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Thatdude8708

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AdamJ said:
No she didn't come to think of it.

I called her out on that and she said she wants to have friends outside of the relationship.
Damn.....
 

Who Dares Win

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Apart what the guys above said, dont forget the group thing.

Given the right input to a girl (sheep-minded individuals) from a group, you will be surprised how can they be influenced.

Imagine a group of people telling her its ok to "let herself go" for an afternoon, its like giving pre-workout to her hamster, its the opposite of when her friend tell her to drop her boyfriend and she does it.

I suggest you to estrablish an escape plan, possibly a damage limiting policy in which you keep banging her while lokking for others, before dropping her try to keep her as fvck buddy with the promise of giving her a second chance later (there wont be any second chance).
 

bootypirate250

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NEXT her... Think of it as if the roles were reversed. She would go mental if you wanted to go to some booty twerking contest alone with some hottie. Sounds like you are insecure/jealous so after you next her you should start going to the gym and bulk up. It will boost your confidence huge.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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AdamJ

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Who Dares Win said:
Apart what the guys above said, dont forget the group thing.

Given the right input to a girl (sheep-minded individuals) from a group, you will be surprised how can they be influenced.

Imagine a group of people telling her its ok to "let herself go" for an afternoon, its like giving pre-workout to her hamster, its the opposite of when her friend tell her to drop her boyfriend and she does it.

I suggest you to estrablish an escape plan, possibly a damage limiting policy in which you keep banging her while lokking for others, before dropping her try to keep her as fvck buddy with the promise of giving her a second chance later (there wont be any second chance).
How can I do this without arousing suspicion and have her hypocritically asking where I am and what I'm doing?
 

Trump

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AdamJ said:
My gf is pretty in to the gym and she got herself a personal trainer about a year ago.

They ended their business relationship a few months ago but he still texts her random workouts or diet plans and gives her the occasional free session since they attend the same gym so they're on good terms.

He invited her to a power lifting event that he is competing in. Apparently it will be her and a few other people from the gym attending but my spidey senses were tingling.

Maybe it's just me but I think this is a bit inappropriate.

It's also seems to be a bit hypocritical on her part since she was quite upset about me attending salsa classes without her.

Do I have a legitimate concern or am I just being lame?
Bro you are emotionally invested in this girl and that will wear on your nerves and crush you.

I would just keep going to salsa class. You can try to convince her that "this isn't what women do, she shouldn't be going with her personal trainer, she shouldn't be disrespecting you." Most of it will go in one ear and out the other.

The only way she will wake up is if another girl is interested in you. Anything related to logic to try to convince her that this isn't good for your "relationship" won't work.

Unless you want to play hardball and break up with her over it, but I'm assuming she's tested you plenty of times before and you haven't put your foot down, so she knows she can keep testing you and get away with it.
 

LMFAO

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AdamJ said:
How can I do this without arousing suspicion and have her hypocritically asking where I am and what I'm doing?
Just have some night outs with friends. Or at least that's what you say to her.

The chance is that she's either taking advantage of the trainer for the free lessons or she's fvcking him.

It may become more clear sooner or later, either way go out with other girls and give her a don't give a fvck attitude.
 

Who Dares Win

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AdamJ said:
How can I do this without arousing suspicion and have her hypocritically asking where I am and what I'm doing?
Whatever your job is, make it more boring and have more job meeting and conventions.

A boring guy friend that call couple of times is a safe bet, anyway since she is too busy with the personal trainer she wont give too much hassle about it.
 

AdamJ

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Trump said:
Bro you are emotionally invested in this girl and that will wear on your nerves and crush you.

I would just keep going to salsa class. You can try to convince her that "this isn't what women do, she shouldn't be going with her personal trainer, she shouldn't be disrespecting you." Most of it will go in one ear and out the other.

The only way she will wake up is if another girl is interested in you. Anything related to logic to try to convince her that this isn't good for your "relationship" won't work.

Unless you want to play hardball and break up with her over it, but I'm assuming she's tested you plenty of times before and you haven't put your foot down, so she knows she can keep testing you and get away with it.
The thing is until the last month she has been pretty damn respectful and I have had no problem putting my foot down when I needed to.

If I did want to break up with her over it how would I frame it because I know most of you guys get where I'm coming from but I think if I just said "I'm breaking up with you because you're hanging out with other people" then it just sounds a bit odd???


LMFAO said:
Just have some night outs with friends. Or at least that's what you say to her.

The chance is that she's either taking advantage of the trainer for the free lessons or she's fvcking him.

It may become more clear sooner or later, either way go out with other girls and give her a don't give a fvck attitude.
This sounds like good advice. Call me a pvssy or whatever but I just don't think I have enough concrete evidence to dump her without regretting my decision later. I need something more. Hopefully the facts will reveal themselves. In the mean time looks like it's time to find a new chick....
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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