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Girlfriend hides relationship

xplt

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I suspect you have a person that suppresses her issues instead of facing them. Eventually those come out in the form of anger.
You're right. She tries to deal with her issues by herself. She feels unheard in her family
 

xplt

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After 6 months, unless you're just not good at seeing the signs which are usually quite obvious, I highly doubt she has another boyfriend.

Here's my take:

75%: She wats to have her cake and eat it too. She doesn’t publicize the relationship because she wants to keep her options open just in case something better comes along. Women are famous for this and trade-up all the time.

25%: Some other crap like family issues or maybe even mental issues. Having a hard time getting my arms around this one, but it's possible.

As @Modern Man Advice said, don’t get snide or butt hurt about it. If it were me, I'd not mention her on my social media and change your relationship status to something more benign. Then, I would back off for a bit and see what happens. Get really busy. Fill your schedule and see how she reacts. If she presses you about it, downplay it and just say you've been really busy with s*it and leave it at that. It might get the hamster wheel spinning. Maybe you've made this too easy for her and doesn't value the relationship. Women who have to work to keep a guy and compete for his time are much more interested.

Remember the golden principle that women are only a small tasty side dish on your huge plate full of food--and they are certainly not the main course. Focus on you, money, career, skills, body. Don't give in to the quick dopamine hits goalless guys get by constantly chasing p*ssy to the detriment of other important areas of their life.

Ask yourself: Is she good enough to be with you? For me, any woman that "hid" our relationship, especially if exclusive and 6 months in, would be reduced to plate status only.

Good luck.

~Dash
I'm stuffed at work, working on two certification exams, go to the gym and play guitar. I squeeze her in two, max. three times a week and haven't changed that luckily. Good advise, thanks.
I don't use any social media.
 
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xplt

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Brutally honest, I wouldn't care if she wants to hide it or not. 6 months ain't alot or maybe ima cold son of a gun as of lately

You did good on not spilling out your feelings on her that would show weakness and that you are invested more than u got to.
That will turn her off.
Remember it's the woman's job to happily show you off to her fam not you push for it.

if she wants to pull that then you will play chess
I would be a little more aggressive in my ways with her and start ignoring her sparingly until her flesh feels it like a slow burn-off.
Inject uncertainty and tension into her.
Test her to see if she is really afraid of losing you.
Remind her that you can vanish for the wrong reasons.
When you withdraw some attention, she is forced to humble herself and re-evaluate how she really feels about the relationship

till then just keep riding it out on cruise control.
I'm figuring you still sleeping with her and she giving you that booty and all that..
Your already scoring my guy.
Enjoy the moment.
I rarely answer chats when I'm at work or when at home learning. When she doesn't hear anything in hours, she always reaches out, asking if everything's ok. I'm not ignoring her intentionally, but I'm unavailable most of the days time
 

xplt

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After reading all the posts I decided to not bring it up on my own. She has little bit of drama with her sister right now regarding vacation planning, so I'm sure this topic will come up by itself again, then I will ask her in an unfazed way about it.

I'm more relaxed than yesterday.

About two months ago she moved into a different apartment near a friend of the family. The friend saw me on the balcony in the morning and asked in front of her parents and her sister who the man on her balcony was. She told them I was a craftsman.
Almost forgot this story, it just came back after reflecting the other day.
 

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Sleeperhead

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After reading all the posts I decided to not bring it up on my own. She has little bit of drama with her sister right now regarding vacation planning, so I'm sure this topic will come up by itself again, then I will ask her in an unfazed way about it.

I'm more relaxed than yesterday.

About two months ago she moved into a different apartment near a friend of the family. The friend saw me on the balcony in the morning and asked in front of her parents and her sister who the man on her balcony was. She told them I was a craftsman.
Almost forgot this story, it just came back after reflecting the other day.
I can tell you she will give you some bull**** excuse when you ask her about it and you will probably lap it up.

It's clearly eating away at your self-esteem, not good. Time to snap out of it.

If I was you I would seriously evaluate your relationship. She's only getting away with what you have allowed. In my opinion you are a placeholder for her.
 

pipeman84

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This is how is started:
I'm dating my current girlfriend for six months now.

Everything is great so far. We share the same values, she's from a conservative family, hard working, no OLD, no attention seeking on social media, great housewife, nurturing and caring, loving, higher sexdrive than me.
And the best of all, supportive in every way, emotianally controlled and very thoughtful. Our relationship is the smoothest I ever had. I even asked myself in the beginning, if i miss some drama...
This is how it ends :lol: :lol:
About two months ago she moved into a different apartment near a friend of the family. The friend saw me on the balcony in the morning and asked in front of her parents and her sister who the man on her balcony was. She told them I was a craftsman.
Almost forgot this story, it just came back after reflecting the other day.
C'mon man. You notice the contrast between how you see her and how she sees you?
 

xplt

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If I was you I would seriously evaluate your relationship. She's only getting away with what you have allowed. In my opinion you are a placeholder for her.
I'm already evaluating because I have the same opinion as you about being a placeholder. But I'm not rushing to exit right now, I want to hear her side when it's time to
 

LARaiders85

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Only thing I can think of is a tattoo on my forearm...
which you can cover up with a long sleeve shirt right? Im going to lean towards the excuses here:

1. *You* have a girlfriend but *She* is single. Or her boyfriend isn't you.

2. She thinks she's dating an ugly loser that would embarrass her if her friends and family caught wind.

However, there are other far less common and more niche reasons that exist. The above 2 are only 90% of the time. Examples

3. Her family is racist/otherwise crazy

4. Her friends are hoes that are either going to fvck you or sabotage the relationship on purpose.

5. She has some big lie that she's trying to keep secret from either you or them. (She told them you're a millionaire, or she doesn't actually have any friends, things like that.
Probably that after 6 months, she doesn't want them to think this is her Husband to be! ... She may have had a 3 year relationship where the family was really attached to the Beau.
Having said that, 6 months is around when women are actually intending a relationship to get serious and begin to attach emotionally.

They ask for exclusivity from fear of rejection primarily, not because they are emotionally attached at all. They aren't remotely loyal to you for at least 3 months into that.

You could give it a little more time. However, she does seem to be lying to you. The coverup is worse than the crime.

I have a friend who is totally absent on his GFs social media even though theyve been together 5 years and he is ring shopping. The answer there is: she doesnt think he's attractive enough for social media and she probably likes the likes from single men online.
 

BJP1991

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Been there, done that. Wish I would have bailed sooner. It’s not right to be in the dark, especially if you are exclusive with her in your mind. Sure, early on within the first year I get it - but after a while that’s just not cool. It’s really kinda shady - almost like a back door for her to get out of the relationship easier or maybe fool around with somebody else one day.
 

mrskinnypantz

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Right now you’re only 6 months in, the less the family knows about you the less stress you’re going to have. They can’t talk sh1t about you and brainwash her mind if they don’t know anything about you. 6 months feels like a long time, but it is not. Its pretty likely you don’t know as much about her as you think you do , I would knock her off this pedestal mentally a little bit and just chill.
 

Jake_Gyllenhaal69

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I would give it the 3 month after the dating/sex has been consistent rule. If a girl is flaunting the relationship after your first week then that’s a red flag. If it’s been 6 months and you still haven’t met her friends then that’s not good either.
 

xplt

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Time for an update.

I've been busy with work, studying and sports the last days, so I managed to get this issue nearly out of my mind. Glad to feel a relieve.
I have an exam on the weekend, so I rejected her advances for seeing me two times this week, but saw her on Tuesday evening. I didn't treat her differently, we spent time together as we usually do when we see each other on weekdays.
I didn't feel the need to talk about this and let it be for the moment.

She called me today, drenched in tears. The discussions with her sister escalated a bit. In regards the whole topic came to the surface on its own. A lot of you guys were spot on...

Her sister just brought the first guy home a month ago and she's 26. Now she gets the new boyfriend of her sister rubbed under the nose at every opportunity. The situation where her sister told the family, that she now has a boyfriend is a story of it's own.
On the last weekend the sisters boyfriend was celebrated as the savior of the family as they were sitting together and my girlfriend still got bashed for a relationship she left four years ago.
She gets criticized a lot at home and is afraid to bring someone home, because she thinks she will be talked out of the relationship or that she gets told the guy is not good enough or that it's not a good fit, etc.

I should be really glad to not be involved in the family right now. The sister and the mother sound insanely crazy.

Thought I caught something smooth and easy for once and it's a mess again.
 

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