Girlfriend help please!!

[pettman]

hi guys,

im new to all this and i wanted to post as i have a problem.

basically me and my girl have been bf/gf for about 3/4 months and its been great, until recently......

.....where we have argued a fair bit and i dont seem to get the attention from her that i used to, like we used to spend loads of time together and now recently she has been wanting to spend more and more time with her mates, and not me and i dont get an invite! And we used to have loads of sex but now thats dissappeared, and she says that she feels weird about sex with me now because in the past i have been with 2 of her mates and she says when she is with me in that way she just thinks about me being with them. But she says she will be fine.........in time!!!

what can i do to get things back feeling fresh and exciting again? or am i at dead end?

any help is much appreciated!

thanks guys!!

 

[biker_gixxer]

i dont seem to get the attention from her that i used to,

You sound like the girl in the relationship bro. 'She' should be the one trying to get 'your' attention.


like we used to spend loads of time together and now recently she has been wanting to spend more and more time with her mates, and not me and i dont get an invite!

Red Flag bro. Her interest in you is fading fast. Did you become clingy or needy, did the relationship become stale and boring? Ask yourself these questions.

And we used to have loads of sex but now thats dissappeared, and she says that she feels weird about sex with me now because in the past i have been with 2 of her mates

It wasn't an issue when you were having loads of sex, but now it is? Bull$hit, she's making excuses for not wanting to sleep with you.

She's lost any $exual desire to be with you, but she would rather make it sound like it's your fault than admit the truth.

Distance yourself from her, go out with your friends and forget about her. Once you start ignoring her and doing your own thing, she'll start looking for you.

 

[pettman]

well yea you are right i am sounding like a wuss and need to toughen up.

i dont think i ever became clingy, we both kinda were i guess, and yes we got into a routine etc we came close to breaking up at one point and i was certain it was over but she came back to me!

and the sex thing, she only just found out like a couple days ago about me and her mates, so pretty much up until then it was good. but thinking about it i would be like lets have sex and she would be oh ok then and it be just well.......boring.

i dont want to loose her, because she is great, but i got to iron out these issues, do you think it can be done?

 

[biker_gixxer]

i dont want to loose her,

Yes, it can be done, but the first thing you have to do is 'not be afraid to loose her'. KNOW that if it doesn’t end up working out between the two of you, there are plenty of other beautiful, intelligent girls out there. You don't NEED her in your life (although it may feel that way), she can be replaced.

Once you start believing in this, it will come out in your actions and she’ll start to notice it. When girls see that you have the ‘I can take it or leave it’ attitude, they work ‘harder’ for your attention.

O.k., now that we got your 'head straight' (that's what i call it), you can start heading out with your friends and having a good time. Don't worry about what she's doing or who's she with, you are going to free yourself from this mental prison and enjoy life for a while. Create some space between the two of you, before she does (which she will if this keeps up), this puts you in the drivers seat.

 

[pettman]

right man, you hit the nail right on the head, it does feel like i need her! ok right so just act if i was single almost?

right, not to worry about what she is doing, what if she gets moody if i say im going out etc?

i mean, just a min ago she text me saying that she is working a late tomo so she will be over later on, so im guessing thats a good thing?

so when she comes over later on, whats the general attitude i should take?

 

[flexion_]

Well obviously something is wrong. And the disinterest in sex is pretty much the kiss of death. Nothing is going to change until she dumps you because she has found someone else.

What were you fighting about? If it was something important then work it out - otherwise she is just looking for a way out of the relationship.

I'd back right off.

Sorry bro - time to move on it seems.

 

[pettman]

you really think she has found someone else?

what do i do if i think she has or is cheating on me?