Girlfriend going away for college??? Read this!

[Adrian]

I attempted to reply to a post exactly like this one but I guess it never went through for some reason or another. I know I’m going to be hated and called AFC and such names by some of the guys in here and that’s perfectly fine because I really don’t give a fvck. In fact some of you may even come to thank me for the stuff I’m about to say. Let me just state that I’m not a woman hater, a cynic or pessimist by nature. I’m just saying things for how they really are.

I know that a lot you guys just starting off in college are horrified to say the least at the thought of being broken up with your girlfriends attending college several hours away or at a different state otherwise you wouldn’t be posting here to begin with. It’s quite understandable that you care a lot for the relationship, love the girl to no end and may even want things to work out. I don’t mean to come off as a d!ck or as a cold person but the only and best advice that I’m going to give to you guys is to forget about it. Life is more complicated than that and situations like these never turn out as planned. Don’t break up with your LTR’s (because I know the majority of you don’t have the heart to do so) but instead for the time being score as many chicks as you want, date them, have sex with them, whatever you want. The reason why I’m saying this is because many of you seem so committed to your “relationships” that the chances of the majority of you coming back here crying, severely depressed, failing your courses and asking for advice on why she isn’t picking up her phone calls and whatever else the case may be is VERY high. Like I said before… go out and score as many chicks as you like. Don’t make it a top priority of course because this isn’t the reason why you’re going to college in the first place. When you have a good number of different girls to choose from and the inevitable takes place then you honestly won’t give a fvck because she can easily be replaced. You should ALWAYS have a backup plan.

I’ve been in a similar situation and damn what a horrible experience that was. I learned my lesson from that. One of them happened to be to never EVER trust a woman… EVER. I don’t care who she is. Hell your little girlfriends going off to college have probably already made up their minds about breaking up with you but just can’t strike up the nerve to do it. And let’s also not overlook the chances of them cheating. It’s a situation that is likely to happen, and I honestly don’t mean to play on your insecurities. Many of you shouldn’t even be stressing this situation. If she cheats then she cheats. So what? If she wants to break up with you then let her go. Fvck em because there are better ones out there. Believe me. Just remember that chicks are all about themselves. The world revolves around them and it’s always about their feelings that count and NOT yours. Once she’s made up her mind about not wanting you anymore THAT’S IT. There’s absolutely nothing you can do. Sometimes you just have to be a d!ck and look out for yourselves. Protect your hearts and remember that you shouldn’t find comfort from some stupid girl, but instead comfort in yourselves knowing that you can handle and take on whatever it is that life throws at you.

This is my attempt to help some of you guys out there. Some of you are almost convinced your girlfriends will never do you any wrong and all I can say is that you’re more than likely in for a rude awakening. You choose to take my advice or not. No one is holding a gun to your head. I’m just hoping to save a couple of poor souls here and there. Peace out!

 

[Last Man Standing]

if she is opening her legs to you then there is absolutely no moral standard to stop her from opening them to others -- especially when she is physically far removed from those she knows!!

 

[Bible_Belt]

I’ve been in a similar situation and damn what a horrible experience that was.

yeah, me too. I actually was the one to go away first and get a new gf, and I felt a little bad about that, until she went away to England the next semester and had a new bf right away.

distance = someone else

She will be seeing other people regardless of what she says, so the only way to combat that is to do it first yourself. Women forgive cheating more easily than men anyway. If you were her top priority, then she would not be going away.

 

[In2theGame]

In a way i agree with the original poster but to a certain extent. if you open your heart and trust to the wrong women, Im gonna tell you right now. Get ready for some deep heart ache. i know how it feels and damn, its probably ond of th WORST feelings you can feel.

 

[TheHumanist]

Ah c'mon, the very advice I'm knew I'm gonna see sooner or later with the recent college threads. Isn't this exactly what the Jesus Christ guys thread was talking about? Since I didn't saw a suggestion of an open relationship or taking a break, but saying to not break up, but still go to score as many chic as desired, this is basically cheating (someone is going to say duh, but I'm covering my bases).

"Well... Since we all know the girl is gonna hop on the first **** she get on campus, might as well go ahead and pre-emp her by screwing a girl the day before stepping on campus!"

How can anyone ever expect the girl to uphold her end of her bargain, if the men never uphold his? Oh yeah... we all know she won't anyway... great justification...

Isn't one of the qualities of a DJ is integrity? Where's the integrity in this?

LMS, you are always a champion against hors and cheating woman. What about cheating men? We may have different natures, but is it OK to do something that is one of the biggest things in this site hates?

Of course, my word probably hold too little weight, even though this mean you are taking a dump on another human being's trust (but... oh wait, she gonna cheat anyway....) Perhaps the word of one of a writer with alot of experience and one of the most favorite authors in this site might hold more. Read this.

Protect the heart, prepare for the worse, and get over it if the worst does happen (BTW, don't forget that there is more than two possible scenarios to how all come out). Yes, even keep a backup plan and options open, but don't think its okay to cheat or have to cheat assumming the worse. Also having a backup plan and keep options open doesn't mean you have to cheat either (such as able to find a new girl or recognize there are "more fish in the sea").

 

[Bible_Belt]

Humanist, you are talking about how life should be, and I agree that it would be great if it were that way, but it's just not.

Every guy starts off feeling the same way, "Oh, my gf would never cheat, other girls do, but my gf is special..." I promise that we have all been there. This is just something you have to learn. Either you can learn from the mistakes of others, or like most people you will have to make your own mistakes to learn from.

She's giving you the undying devotion spiel now, because that's how she feels right now. But things will change. As soon as you two have the slightest quarrel, she will start taking interest in other men, and she may be the one to start that quarrel to justify what she is planning on doing anyway. When she starts seeing other guys, she won't tell you. Women just don't do that. They get it in their head that the relationship is already over anyway, so it's ok to move on (without dumping their current bf first).

If you actually want some sort of LTR hope with this girl, the best way is for each of you to date other people while apart. Then you can both see that there's nothing better out there. The friends I knew who were in your situation and actually did end up marrying the girl after college; they all cheated while apart. If you're doing it, it makes it a lot more ok that she is cheating, too. The worst thing you can do is be Mr. Gullible, undying devotion, 'right here waiting for you' like the Richard Marx song. Then her cheating will undermine everything, even if she never tells you about it.

This is life, man. Those of us with experience are telling you how it works so that you don't have to go through what we did.

 

[comic_relief]

Personally, I believe that their is ways to make sure that your girlfriend won't cheat on you without force, but through your personality and correct choice of females. But I have not found it yet.

The closest I have found is self-improving yourself to the point where you are the highest standard of what a man is. Also having a percieved value to her is a good insurance policy.

I have on the other hand have yet to find a perfect way other than to find a good girl (they are out there but they are few and far between).

On the same note, LMS aka PRL I must beg a response to the Humanist and I would like you to define what the perfect girl is and can you point out examples other than nuns.

comic_relief

 

[Adrian]

How can anyone ever expect the girl to uphold her end of her bargain, if the men never uphold his? Oh yeah... we all know she won't anyway... great justification...

That sounds more like the way FEMALES think. Not guys. "Well guys can cheat. They cheat all the time" or something along those lines is the common response. The majority of guys I know (but more common among the AFC crowd) don't think this way at all. In fact the thought of cheating never crosses their minds. They're just not the type of people. Maybe we can reverse your question and ask how can anyone ever expect the men to uphold his end of the bargain, if the girl never upholds hers? Does this make it right for men to cheat? I'll let you answer that one. Everyone would hold a different opinion on this but I for one believe there is no wrong or right answer. Just do what you have to do. You can't control a female but you can and should control yourself. YOU decide on which actions to take.

Isn't one of the qualities of a DJ is integrity? Where's the integrity in this?

Where's the integrity in not respecting your mind and emotions and bending backwards for a female several states away? Staying "commited" while she's out spreading her legs to whomever it is she wants. Thats pretty damn AFC and totally un-DJ like. Wheres the integrity in bedding 5, 10 or more women in a short time span just to get over an LTR? This is the common (and damn great) advice given to just about anyone here after an LTR just ended. Lets face it. You're already being immoral in the minds of others just by being a player to begin with. You're putting way too much thought into it.

Protect the heart, prepare for the worse, and get over it if the worst does happen (BTW, don't forget that there is more than two possible scenarios to how all come out). Yes, even keep a backup plan and options open, but don't think its okay to cheat or have to cheat assumming the worse. Also having a backup plan and keep options open doesn't mean you have to cheat either (such as able to find a new girl or recognize there are "more fish in the sea").

You're making the "getting over it" process sound like a two step process. It doesn't work by telling yourself to "move on" and by tomorrow morning you'll feel all better now. NO NO NO. I couldn't even put that hell into words. But like I've mentioned earlier. No one is being forced to take my advice I'm only attempting to open up the eyes of some of the kids on here. It's quite sad to see. I mean... They're asking about their girlfriends for a reason right? Maybe their gut is trying to tell them their girlfriends are likely to cheat. Should they listen? Thats totally up to them. Maybe a lesson would be learned through an expirience.