Girlfriend found out about my double life

[john paul]

So iv been seeing my girlfriend for about a year now but for the first six months of our relationship I was also seeing another girl at the same time.

The girl on the side was only for sex, I wasnt taking her on dates or anything.

So about six months ago we became exclusive and thats when I stopped seeing my f-buddy, the entire time up until now my girlfriend didnt know about her.

Yesterday her friends found out about the f-buddy and told her so she called me and we talked about it for a while. She was heartbroken and said she felt so stupid.

I ended the call by saying, "Ill wait for you to contact me, whenever that will be"

I did a pretty good job explaining that it was completely unemotional sex and that at the time I had considered myself single...understandably that didnt make her feel much better.

Should I feel bad about this? Shes never been real clear with what kind of relationship she wants with me. I just dont think its fair that shes not going to trust me now.

She made me feel like I was in the wrong. Was I?

 

[5string]

I don't think you were wrong. Once it became exclusive, you nexted the FB. Your gal feels slighted as she didnt know about the FB. When she brings it up again, make it a point to tell her that you made the decision on your own, to accept your relationship as exclusive, and quit seeing the FB. Emphasize that you made this decision BEFORE she ever found out about your other gal. That might restore some of her trust in you. Still, you did not do anything wrong.

 

[Serg897]

^ agree with 5string. Tell her exactly that. You were not exclusive before, but once you became exclusive you dropped the FB for her. If she doesnt accept that then its her issue, not yours.

 

[Captain]

It's only wrong if you were exclusive and she was your exclusive girlfriend. Either way, next time DON'T HIDE IT. It's only a big deal if you make it one.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

This girl is immature and you're 19! Why do you even want to be with a girlfriend?!

When I was 19 (22 now), I was like you, screwing around with these girlfriends..but the truth is that you SHOULD NOT be dating these girls exclusively. You should be going out and banging lots of girls at one time (what I'm doing now and most likely will for many many years to come..afterall there are A LOT of different countries out there!). There's no need to settle down with a single girl that young. Go out, have fun, and leave this drama for the losers who don't have enough game to date multiple women at once!

 

[kingsam]

you did nothign wrong, she didnt want exclusivity untill 6 months into the RL so you were still officaillly single, just dont dont hide the other people ...!

ASLO so you are 19 yeh (it says) so she is either 19/18 right?

girls this age have emotions all over the place, they fall in and out of love at a moments notice, and every thigns is the end of the world!
Dont worry about it! this will get better as the chicks get older and can handle their emotions from around 22 years old.

so she may get really upset/angry/emotional about this , if she does dont worry too much dont and accept any blame (they WILL try blame you for it!), you did nothing wrong,

Also dont be afraid to walk away if she keeps bringing it up

 

[john paul]

thanks for the replys. everyone had about the same thing to say so ill be sure to emphasize that we werent exclusive at the time so im innocent. And im not afraid to leave her if she wont drop it after a while.

And to workerouter, yeah I realize im 19 but my girlfriend just started out as a f-buddy, just one of many girls. Iv only had 2 girlfriends in my life but iv dated maybe a little under 20 girls. And enough meaningless sex for a lifetime. She started out just like all the other girls but theres something about her that I love.

Isnt that the point of dating so many girls? Besides always having sex, you increase your chances of finding that girl who is amazing to you. I just happened to find her when I was young.

I completely agree with what your trying to tell me though and I preach that to all my friends.

Thanks for all the thoughtful replys

 

[Rescue Mission]

there is nothing wrong with what you did - just learn from your mistakes and try to not get caught in the future. Just please don't let this experience turn you into a pvssified version of yourself who is all of a sudden nice and considerate all the time towards random women's feelings...........do what you have been doing that has led you to your good results in getting laid, THE ONLY THING THAT YOU HAVE TO CHANGE is how good you are at hiding lies from these bytches - simple as that!

 

[horaholic]

How many guys was SHE banging before you were exclusive?

 

[john paul]

How many guys was SHE banging before you were exclusive?

Apparently none...she doesnt have the heart to have been fvcking guys and then give me sh1t for this