girlfriend drinks too much

[illmatic1005]

Before i went out with my girlfriend, she used to drink. When she drinks she acts really slutty to almost every guy.

When i started going out withher i told her i dont like her drinking. She said she would stop. She says she loves doing it sometimes because its fun and exciting, so when she asks if she can drink sometimes i say yes. I dont want to take away all her fun.

I always tell her i find her drinking habits unnattractive because she fiends for the stuff. And the way she acts wehn shes drunk or even tipsy really bothers me. She says she doesnt over drink to the point of puking either.

But, last night, my girlfriend drank with her older brother and his friend. My girlfriend got really drunk and puked 6 times, acted crazy, and was kicked out of her house for good.

I was mad at her because she told me she will stop drinking, or will only drink a little, but she drank a lot. Now she swears and promises she is giving it up for good.

Should i tell her i want a break from the relationship until she straightens her drinking habits out?

Any advice?

p.s. - i dont want her drinking period. Is that a little to harsh and would that make her rebel and drink even more?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

What's in it for her if she permanently changes her behavior? What would be at least as fun and exciting to her if she stops? Don't expect her to give it up unless you make it worth her while. It's the price you have to pay trying to change a person's existing behavior just for your benefit (it seldom works).

 

[illmatic1005]

im gonna tell her..

Either choose between alcohol or me..one or the other

ill see where it goes from there

 

[j-flex]

dump her ass. she will give you a lot of problems.

Mental issues=alcohol abusers= sluts= cheating= cant trust them= breaking your heart=giving you a lot of problems

 

[Effington]

These threads are classic. Everyone here is way, way, way too quick to dump someone for any imperfection. It's ridiculous, especially considering the huge majority of the posters here are terribly unsuccessful with women.

I can empathize with the girlfriend; I have fun when I'm out drinking, and honestly, some of my most fun nights have been when I'm the most drunk. Almost all of my friends have had their ocassional binge nights, and we're all somewhat responsible guys when it comes to real stuff like education/work.

That being said, it's not good to drink to the point of throwing up, and getting so out of control that you end up doing things you regret, like getting kicked out of your house. That is pretty irresponsible. She should be realizing that it's not cool. For my friends and I, we did a lot of that stuff in college, but now that it's the real world and we have responsibility, that's not good to do anymore.

Bottom line, I don't think that you should recommend her stop drinking, just do it a little more wisely. She should learn her limits; you can still have fun without getting so drink you can't stand. Dumping someone because she likes to drink is really lame, unless she really is a drunk and can't/won't change. However, if you talk to her sensibly, I see a very simple middle ground that can be reached.

 

[DonJuan11]

I was mad at her because she told me she will stop drinking, or will only drink a little, but she drank a lot. Now she swears and promises she is giving it up for good.

Should i tell her i want a break from the relationship until she straightens her drinking habits out?

Any advice?

If your gf is doing something she knows you hate, why does she keep on doing it?

 

[Microphone Fiend]

These threads are classic. Everyone here is way, way, way too quick to dump someone for any imperfection. It's ridiculous, especially considering the huge majority of the posters here are terribly unsuccessful with women.

I can empathize with the girlfriend; I have fun when I'm out drinking, and honestly, some of my most fun nights have been when I'm the most drunk. Almost all of my friends have had their ocassional binge nights, and we're all somewhat responsible guys when it comes to real stuff like education/work.

That being said, it's not good to drink to the point of throwing up, and getting so out of control that you end up doing things you regret, like getting kicked out of your house. That is pretty irresponsible. She should be realizing that it's not cool. For my friends and I, we did a lot of that stuff in college, but now that it's the real world and we have responsibility, that's not good to do anymore.

Bottom line, I don't think that you should recommend her stop drinking, just do it a little more wisely. She should learn her limits; you can still have fun without getting so drink you can't stand. Dumping someone because she likes to drink is really lame, unless she really is a drunk and can't/won't change. However, if you talk to her sensibly, I see a very simple middle ground that can be reached.

look at his thread history:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/search.php?searchid=761315

Every post is about his girl and the dumb stuff she does. She is a LSE nutjob and I do not know why people keep giving him advice, it is so bad it is borderline trolling.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Illmatic... You seem to have alot of problems with your girl. I think you are dating a girl with more problems than you which is not good. If you can't control her and her problems that you have with her you might as well break it off. Yes, everybody has some kind of problem but, you seem to have a problem every week..

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Which is why you should skip the hastle of trying to change her into the person you want to be with, and break up with her. Find someone that doesn't drink.

That would make way too much sense.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

If your gf is doing something she knows you hate, why does she keep on doing it?

Why would he want to change his GF if he cares for her? Why would he even choose her if she had to change first? Why buy a new red car and paint it blue instead of buying a blue car in the first place?

 

[DonJuan11]

Why would he want to change his GF if he cares for her? Why would he even choose her if she had to change first?

I was just thinking if she loved him she would say "I understand it bothers you that I drink so much and puke afterwards. I will try to cut back as much as I can since we are team in this relationship."

But you're right, the onus is on him too. He picked her when he knew she had a drinking problem.

 

[ready123]

is she an alcoholic? or do you just not approve of anything alcohol related? or maybe you're like me and just don't like to babysit drunk chicks

trying to understand where your aversion to alcohol is coming from

 

[saber]

i know several girls like this and it is clear you are not familiar with this....

she WILL choose you over the drinking

she doesn't take the relationship as seriously as you (very high possibility she could cheat)

people use substance abuse to ignore a problem like boredom,uncomfortableness, lack of validation...whatever! shes got something


you are only fooling urself

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...But you're right, the onus is on him too. He picked her when he knew she had a drinking problem.

I don't think guys are comfortable with nexting women until she does something that he can't stand. It would be easier to just choose more wisely. I mean what if a guy meets a woman he's physically attracted to but she tells him that she doesn't believe in sex until after marriage. What does the guy do, date her in hopes he can change her mind or does he walk away?

 

[LovelyLady]

When she drinks she acts really slutty to almost every guy.

You know, I process information like this a little differently.

When I hear: when he drinks - he gets drunk - when he gets drunk - he gets mean. My response is "No, he is a mean guy who drinks and gets drunk." Alcohol does not make you anyone other than who you already are.

When he drinks he steals. NO! He is a thief who steals when he drinks. But he is the thief first. Alcohol does not make you anyone other than who you already are.

So, you are dating a girl who acts slutty - who also drinks and gets drunk.
Alcohol does not make you anyone other than who you already are.

It doesn't MAKE you do anything - or EVERYONE who drinks/gets drunk would get mean, steal, cheat - or whatever.

Alcohol consumption NEVER excuses or justifies ANY behavior EVER.

My 2 cents - don't spend it all in one place LOL

 

[illmatic1005]

before i started going out with her, i knew she drank sometimes..but i didnt kno she was like addicted to it..even tho i dont like anything alcohol related

if she hears the word beer, alcohol, liquor, vodka, etc she gets all giddy , shes like a fiend for alcohol

even her own brother is telling me i need to get her to stopp

by the way..she promised on her life and family that she stopped..lets see how it goes

 

[ready123]

so she's an alcoholic... does it run in her family?

 

[Last Man Standing]

She is getting boinked by other dudes - has nothing to do with alcohol!!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...even her own brother is telling me i need to get her to stopp

Since he gave the job to you, right?

 

[Vendetta081789]

Since he gave the job to you, right?

Lol. Quoted For Truth.