Girlfriend Doesn't Want to Have Sex

[mfd1830]

We've been dating for about 2 months. We've had sex maybe 10 times in that period (although not at all the last 2 weeks) and it hasn't been very good, mostly on my side; I always lose the erection after 5 minutes or so because I can't really feel much with the condom.

I hadn't been with many girls before her so I thought I just had to get used to it but nothing changed. I've stopped masterbating, watching porn, quit smoking, cut down on drinking, started working out, etc. Basically everything I could think of but the problem is still there. The last couple weeks she's been really distant; it's pretty obvious things are about to end. Which is okay, I guess, because she's obviously not satisfied. I'm not happy about it but I don't blame her.

I'm pretty certain this is a physical issue (condoms) but it's turned into a mental one too because, as hard as I try, that fear of losing the erection does creep in. I don't want this to ruin future relationships but I don't know how to fix the problem. It's hard to "practice" being used to condoms when your girlfriend doesn't want to have sex with you. She does put a lot of pressure on me by venting her frustrations about this to me right afterwards. Is this my problem or do I just need to find someone a little more understanding/patient?

 

[scrouds]

Wow, not what I thought it would be from the outset.

1) Get better condoms. I highly recommend Okatomo Beyond Seven. Make sure the condom you get is tight on your guy, the baggy look is out of date. If that doesn't work, blowwjobs are a good substitute.

Last thing you'd want to use is durex. Might as well wear a kevlar condom.

2) Chill out and stop worrying. 5 minutes into sex I'm just getting into my stride. Stress kills erections.

3) Turn her on. Finish her off. You have a tongue, you have fingers, whatever it takes. Demand the same from her.

 

[Scar Tissue]

Iv had similar problems in the past. just a quick couple of questions, maybe i can help you out.
-How turned on did she get for the first couple of times having sex?
-Is she good in bed/experienced?
-Did she really get into it or was she just laying there going with the flow?
-Does she give head?
-Was she passive or aggressive?

 

[mfd1830]

I've tried a bunch of different types of condoms, I'll give those a shot though.

The first couple times she was way into it; very aggressive, energetic, etc. Now she's very passive, never initiates and just lays there. I know she's been with quite a few guys but she doesn't seem that experienced; it's weird.

She doesn't like giving or receiving oral sex. She does give head every now and then but she's not very good at it. Now that I think about it, maybe she isn't doing enough to turn me on. I do tons of foreplay and fooling around, I love that stuff, but she hardly does anything for me. I don't know how to change that though.

 

[KontrollerX]

Sounds like your c0ck isn't the problem.

Its her.

Ditch the cold fish before she gets around to ditching you and find a woman that will make your soldier stand at attention! :box:

Sure erectile dysfunction via physical or mental problems concerning sex is a real condition but I don't think thats whats at play here.

The girl has just become the opposite of sexually exciting and your body has reacted accordingly to that dismal reality. :rock:

 

[Solomon]

We've been dating for about 2 months. We've had sex maybe 10 times in that period (although not at all the last 2 weeks) and it hasn't been very good, mostly on my side; I always lose the erection after 5 minutes or so because I can't really feel much with the condom.

I hadn't been with many girls before her so I thought I just had to get used to it but nothing changed. I've stopped masterbating, watching porn, quit smoking, cut down on drinking, started working out, etc. Basically everything I could think of but the problem is still there. The last couple weeks she's been really distant; it's pretty obvious things are about to end. Which is okay, I guess, because she's obviously not satisfied. I'm not happy about it but I don't blame her.

I'm pretty certain this is a physical issue (condoms) but it's turned into a mental one too because, as hard as I try, that fear of losing the erection does creep in. I don't want this to ruin future relationships but I don't know how to fix the problem. It's hard to "practice" being used to condoms when your girlfriend doesn't want to have sex with you. She does put a lot of pressure on me by venting her frustrations about this to me right afterwards. Is this my problem or do I just need to find someone a little more understanding/patient?

Let that heffa go and in The words of the late great Biggie Smalls

"I don't chasem, I replace'em"

peace

 

[ima str8 up pimp]

We've been dating for about 2 months. We've had sex maybe 10 times in that period (although not at all the last 2 weeks) and it hasn't been very good, mostly on my side; I always lose the erection after 5 minutes or so because I can't really feel much with the condom.

I hadn't been with many girls before her so I thought I just had to get used to it but nothing changed. I've stopped masterbating, watching porn, quit smoking, cut down on drinking, started working out, etc. Basically everything I could think of but the problem is still there. The last couple weeks she's been really distant; it's pretty obvious things are about to end. Which is okay, I guess, because she's obviously not satisfied. I'm not happy about it but I don't blame her.

I'm pretty certain this is a physical issue (condoms) but it's turned into a mental one too because, as hard as I try, that fear of losing the erection does creep in. I don't want this to ruin future relationships but I don't know how to fix the problem. It's hard to "practice" being used to condoms when your girlfriend doesn't want to have sex with you. She does put a lot of pressure on me by venting her frustrations about this to me right afterwards. Is this my problem or do I just need to find someone a little more understanding/patient?

Get dirty... forget the condom.. it's not like she's gonna say "no." It's time you discern as a true man would. When you make it hotter she'll never disagree especially if you're with her.. whatever you like.

 

[ima str8 up pimp]

Sounds like your c0ck isn't the problem.

Its her.

Ditch the cold fish before she gets around to ditching you and find a woman that will make your soldier stand at attention! :box:

Sure erectile dysfunction via physical or mental problems concerning sex is a real condition but I don't think thats whats at play here.

The girl has just become the opposite of sexually exciting and your body has reacted accordingly to that dismal reality. :rock:

Agreed. 100%. Drop it on her son

 

[sodbuster]

Why would he be a fool and not wear a condom? If you don't have anything and never expect to have anything-be a bum for the rest of your life,maybe OK,BUT 18 years of child support for 1 night? NEVER. Not to mention AIDS etc.

 

[thecurtainfalls]

Sounds like your c0ck isn't the problem.

Its her.

Ditch the cold fish before she gets around to ditching you and find a woman that will make your soldier stand at attention! :box:

Sure erectile dysfunction via physical or mental problems concerning sex is a real condition but I don't think thats whats at play here.

The girl has just become the opposite of sexually exciting and your body has reacted accordingly to that dismal reality. :rock:

The truth of your situation lies somewhere between the above quote and the fact that, yea a condom does kill the sensation quite a bit. I've busted an enormous nut with a durex on when the girl I was with was super horny and motivated, but I think most of us have had the displeasure of losing all feeling with the jimmy on.

However, unless you are in an LTR with a girl that you sincerely trust, do NOT take that fvcking thing off for any reason if your schlong is going anywhere near her canoe.

 

[scrouds]

I've tried a bunch of different types of condoms, I'll give those a shot though.

I like em. Ordered them on amazon, had great reviews. Pain in the ass to get off sometimes if you want to nut on her though. Sometimes I'll switch it up to a shiittier condom if i really want to pile it on her.

But yeah, there's no reason not to sample the local chick population and find out if its her, or if you're winding up having this issue with other girls too.

She doesn't like giving or receiving oral sex. She does give head every now and then but she's not very good at it. Now that I think about it, maybe she isn't doing enough to turn me on. I do tons of foreplay and fooling around, I love that stuff, but she hardly does anything for me. I don't know how to change that though.

Don't change her, change her out.

 

[HeyPachuco!]

Had the same prob once upon a time, atlhough for me my gf at the time was satisfied both ways.

You're thinking about it too much. Just don't give a eff whether you lose it or not. Thinking you're going to lose it, only makes the process quicker.

Why doesn't she go on the pill and both of you have unprotected sex, see how that goes? Atleast its a change? something new always brings a little joy to a relationship, its exploring.

And yeah, try missionary positions (close your eyes and think of your MOST EROTIC imagination, get that flowing. Something beyond the line) Guarantee you wont lose that stiffy.

 

[IamMyownMan]

Wear a rubber.

Of all the people I know who've been burned going in bareback, I'd say 70% were in LTRs/FBs and 30% were with a ONS. That is anecdotal as hell, but the point is: the majority were in some stage of a relationship. The others had just met some girl and ought to have dressed for the occasion.

Trust is a funny word when it comes to phucking...usually you won't know that you can't trust her till it's too late. If you put your trust into someone you're phucking, your trust might get phucked. And that's just a cost of the game.

 

[mfd1830]

I've had a lot of one night stands and never had this problem but she's basically my first girlfriend, so that could be another indication that it's just mental at this point. I'm not gonna stress over it too much anymore. I like her but we'll never get serious if it does end up continuing. I'll just think of her as practice so I'm prepared for when I do meet someone I'm really into.

 

[DonJuan11]

Sounds like your c0ck isn't the problem.

Its her.

Ditch the cold fish before she gets around to ditching you and find a woman that will make your soldier stand at attention! :box:

Sure erectile dysfunction via physical or mental problems concerning sex is a real condition but I don't think thats whats at play here.

The girl has just become the opposite of sexually exciting and your body has reacted accordingly to that dismal reality. :rock:

Powerful stuff dude, but nice.

 

[Commandante]

You could try condoms with integrated penis ring. The chick won´t recognize that you are "cheating" in the game (it looks like a normal condom) and it keeps you hard, even if you are drunk and/or dehydrated.

Or you should tell her to use her Kegel-muscles. One GF of mine made me crazy for weeks. I thought something is wrong with me, because I alwasy came early, until I recognized that she were playing with her muscles on purpose.

 

[Scar Tissue]

I've tried a bunch of different types of condoms, I'll give those a shot though.

The first couple times she was way into it; very aggressive, energetic, etc. Now she's very passive, never initiates and just lays there. I know she's been with quite a few guys but she doesn't seem that experienced; it's weird.

She doesn't like giving or receiving oral sex. She does give head every now and then but she's not very good at it. Now that I think about it, maybe she isn't doing enough to turn me on. I do tons of foreplay and fooling around, I love that stuff, but she hardly does anything for me. I don't know how to change that though.

Hey im back and thanks for answering those questions. ControllerX pretty much sees the same thing im seeing here.

Dispite what most people think, guys cant always get rock hard from just getting a girl naked. She has to stimulate you in some way. She cant just lay there with her legs spread and expect your c0ck to jump up.

If you dont believe me then watch a porno, id say 4 out of 5 times the guys c0ck isnt ready to go until after she gives him a good 5 or 6 minutes of head, sometimes longer.

And yes there are girls who are bad at sex. Id lose my erection if the girl was laying there like a dead fish as someone so well put it. I wouldnt take it personal becasue its usually pretty obvious the girl is feeling insecure and uncomfortable about her sexuality still.

Its probably easiest to just leave her. Unless you think you can talk to her about this. It would be an unconfortable conversation because like I said, she feels uneasy about sex and her sexuality still.

 

[mfd1830]

I may try to talk to her about it. Not sure yet. She definitely has a lot of insecurity going on. Normally I would consider just moving on but my schedule is so crazy right now that I need a sure thing around.

 

[horaholic]

I've dated girls like that. Its not worth it. You need someone who can turn you on. If sex in an issue, get out. Especially if its only been two months.

 

[Cinamon]

Are neither of you content with the quality of sex, or are you happy with what you are getting for time being and she isnt? I think she would respond better if you introduced other things in to the act itself. If she is satisfied with that, she wont hold back.