Girlfriend doesnt see to care, I want to confront her

[IamtheAlphamale]

You should start testing to see if shes using a system. Where our **** is just make yourself super confident and don't play games they are pure strategy.

 

[trent81]

Listen you fuvking puvsy. I have to give hard love here. YOU ARE A MAN. You can even pay for puvsy if you want. You CAN get other girls. SO ACT LIKE IT. TELL HER TO PISS OFF. WHEN SHE SAYS "BUT, WHY?" YOU SAY "BECAUSE YOU ACT LIKE YOU DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS ABOUT ME AND TREAT ME LIKE SHT, SO WHY SHOULD I NOT TREAT YOU LIKE SHT IN RETURN?" NOW GET THE FUBK OUT OF MY CAR, CALL ME WHEN YOU START MAKING AN EFFORT!!!!!!!!!!!!


ENOUGH OF THIS..............YOU ACT LIKE A FAT FUBK WHO CAN'T GET LAID AND IS DEPENDENT ON ONE WOMAN. SHE SENSES THIS AND IS UNATTRACTED TO IT.

 

[trent81]

Listen you fuvking puvsy. I have to give hard love here. YOU ARE A MAN. You can even pay for puvsy if you want. You CAN get other girls. SO ACT LIKE IT. TELL HER TO PISS OFF. WHEN SHE SAYS "BUT, WHY?" YOU SAY "BECAUSE YOU ACT LIKE YOU DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS ABOUT ME AND TREAT ME LIKE SHT, SO WHY SHOULD I NOT TREAT YOU LIKE SHT IN RETURN?" NOW GET THE FUBK OUT OF MY CAR, CALL ME WHEN YOU START MAKING AN EFFORT!!!!!!!!!!!!


ENOUGH OF THIS..............YOU ACT LIKE A FAT FUBK WHO CAN'T GET LAID AND IS DEPENDENT ON ONE WOMAN. SHE SENSES THIS AND IS UNATTRACTED TO IT.

 

[Energizer]

I'd really like to air my views but as Ease stated earlier I'm just going to come off as needy.

#

Airing your concerns and being needy are two entirely different things. Bottling up your concerns is not option. As I have said try rekindling things, if that doesn't seem to have the right effect, then discuss matters with her (note: not confront, but discuss).

 

[Ease]

Like Igetit said, talking about this with her wont work for a reason. As he explained the problem is not going to be solved by discussing, because the problem is emotional.

Ie. it probably is a interest problem.

If this is a problem due to lack of interest, discussing isnt going to help. Like it has been said already, i would be confused as to what else it cud really be, unless she was using some super game on you. A girl will jump through crazy hoops for you if she has 100% interest level, we all know this. Maybe its her personality aswell, but to quote doc love 'interest level cuts through all'. So basically, a girl would have got the metro to come see you if she had a super high interest level. Because after all, you got the metro to see her because your interest in her was high.

Her interest level is key in a relationship, because afterall we all want a girl who does things for us and is crazy about us; or in your words 'puts in the effort'.

Now if her interest level is lacking, ie. you've identified the problem in your relationship, then your gona need to fix it by raising her interest. This is why confronting/discussing isnt going to work, because since when has saying 'i dont think your putting enough work into the relationship', raised interest? Its about emotion, not logic. Her attraction to you isnt something she controls with logic, so by talking to her about it you arent getting anywhere; your just gona seem needy by wanting more from her.

First thing i'd say is re-reade the article about the commandments of poon, that stuff is key relationship interest goodness, aswell as the book of pook. Theres some parts that gives good insight into relationship dynamics. Try to level out the ratio in your relationship, stop giving 3:0, pull back and stop the chasing and see what happens. But you need to be strong about this, no 'caving in'. After all, walking away from the relationship is your greatest power and sometimes, the willingness to walk away is what keeps a relationship going successfuly. 'When in doubt, next' is actually a decent principle to follow lol.

Maybe she feels like you genuinely need her and cant go on without her so she has no fear of losing you. You should never be in a situation in a relationship where you genuinely need the other person and fear losing her.

So by dicussing this whole issue with her, you would confirm that you do indeed need her^

Airing your concerns and being needy are two entirely different things. Bottling up your concerns is not option. As I have said try rekindling things, if that doesn't seem to have the right effect, then discuss matters with her (note: not confront, but discuss).

I think this is something my mother would say if i asked her about my relationship problems. Unfortunately, my mother is not a DJ.

 

[Recon]

Hey guys, sorry for the delay, but with school and work I have not had the time to reply.

Here's a quick update :

I DID NOT, adress any of the issues that I was conerned about with her. Instead I went a mix of no contact ( at least in my opinion)/focusing more on school/ self- improvement (got my teeth whitened, and a much needed wardrobe update).

Anyway she called me a few times, (5-6 during the week, I initiated none of them, though she does call often as a norm in our relationships) Not many hang out sessions, but yesterday i went over to her parent's place and we had sex a few times, ate, and just generally had a really good time.

I have no idea what sparked this ridiculous change in the relationship, (I still initated the sex, and such), but it was one of the few times that she has asked me to do anything.

Maybe it was focusing on other things, but whatever it was it worked very well. Thank you all for your advice, especially Igetit! Ease and Enegerizer.

I will make sure to update on our relationship later in the week.

 

[Igetit!]

I have no idea what sparked this ridiculous change in the relationship

I do. It was YOU.

Just like I said in my first post,in order to change things around,you'd have to change something IN YOURSELF.

Women don't want to be a guy's whole world. They want you to have your own world that they can be a part of.

You taking the spotlight off of her and placing it on yourself (teethwhitening/focusing on school,taking care of yourself,etc) combined with the no contact generated attraction in her.

You stood up like a man instead of going to her and whining about her lack of enthusiasim. I'm glad you didn't go through with that plan.

You have NO IDEA how SEVERELY that would have damaged the relationship.


Thanks for coming back and letting us know how things turned out.


I HATE IT when someone comes here,asked for advice about a situation,then bam,they're gone. Never hear from them again,and don't know if we were helpful or not

Peace man.



(I still initated the sex, and such), but it was one of the few times that she has asked me to do anything.

Maybe it was focusing on other things, but whatever it was it worked very well. Thank you all for your advice, especially Igetit! Ease and Enegerizer.

I will make sure to update on our relationship later in the week.[/QUOTE]

 

[Igetit!]

So it's over? Hmm.


And I suppose she never gave you a reason why.


Women don't just break up on a whim like that. There were probably little signs and clues along the way,like a decline in sex,her coming up with excuse after excuse for not being able to spend time with you.


So you were at home,minding your own business,then out of the blue...bam,you get a text from her saying she wanted to break up.


That sucks dude.


Yeah,go ahead and follow the instructions from the "No Contact" challenge.


That's good info on how to handle a breakup.

(I posted this in your this thread because I didn't want to derail the purpose of the "just got dumped guide".

 

[Recon]

So it's over? Hmm.


And I suppose she never gave you a reason why.


Women don't just break up on a whim like that. There were probably little signs and clues along the way,like a decline in sex,her coming up with excuse after excuse for not being able to spend time with you.


So you were at home,minding your own business,then out of the blue...bam,you get a text from her saying she wanted to break up.


That sucks dude.


Yeah,go ahead and follow the instructions from the "No Contact" challenge.


That's good info on how to handle a breakup.

(I posted this in your this thread because I didn't want to derail the purpose of the "just got dumped guide".

There was that spark I posted about earlier...but it faded.

Then next thing I know i get a text that said this


Her: "So I was thinking, this really isnt working out I think that we should take a break for a while. Sry it had to happen this way but we both saw it coming."

Me: "Fair enough. but we both know what break means."

Her: "Yeah that's kinda what I had in mind."

Me: "Alright then."

Her: "I hope we can still be friends."

Me: "NO-REPLY."


I realized that if I couldnt even get a phone call after a year then It really meant nothing to her.

Also I know I shouldnt have..but I went on FB and saw her status about how "yesterday was the best day ever, I had an amazing night!". I then deleted her fb and her phone number to save myself from becoming a stalker.

I feel like crap right now.

 

[Raven80]

Well whatever you do,DON'T CONFRONT HER.

Seems to me like you're upset or angry over a lack of emotion from her.

Confronting her will do no good. Her indifference isn't caused by NOT BEING confronted,so confronting her won't suddenly make her "care" or seem excited about seeing or hanging out with you.

In fact,she may feel unfairly attacked. Emotions aren't cut on or off by the flick of a switch.

It's not like you'll confront her,then afterwards she's going to go,"Ok,you win. I won't be indifferent anymore. So HEY!!! How was your day? I've missed you soooo much! Would I like to go to the park? That's a GREAT idea! Yeah,of course I would! I just miss you so much,and think about you all the time".

Doesn't work that way.

Confrontations can solve problems,but won't fix emotions.


In order to turn this thing about,you'd have to change SOMETHING IN YOURSELF first.

I don't know what that is,however,if the way she's behaving now is different from the way she was behaving when you first met her,that means YOU SCREWED UP somewhere.

Of that,I'm 100% certain.

Check out this thread. You don't have to read the whole thing,just skip down to reply #14.

That should help you get a better understanding of what's going on with your relationship.

TC there's a lot of good advice in this thread, but I 100% agree with this. Women are emotional creatures, don't try to throw in logic in an emotional situation. I suggest you do exactly what one guy suggested, cut off contact and don't give in. Let her do some work. If she doesn't, you have to move on, it may be very hard to do so, but you have to do it for yourself and your peace of mind.