"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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girlfriend come back from a long absence without me

MindOverMatter

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You should read the DJ bible. You might have read it, but you didn't learn from it, otherwise you wouldn't be in this scenario.

I think the best quote to sum this up comes from Pook:

Set a high price to yourself! Treat yourself like gold because you're a Don Juan. And always be willing to walk away.

-Pook in "Kill That Desperation"
You are not happy in this relationship, this broad has no interest level, and is totally playing you. After being away for 2 weeks, she would rather spend time with her friend Jason then you? Man, wake up and smell the disrespect. Then she changes the story to being sick? Everytime you try to make plans with her she shoots you down? And you're with this broad, why? You can't fix this relationship, you can't make her change her mind, all you can do is cut your losses, demonstrate some self-respect, and MOVE ON. This broad has been feeding you BS for days now, and you've eaten every single bit of it. Move on.

The only good thing you did so far was approach that broad at the gym, but you shouldn't have stopped there. You tried one approach, it didn't work out cause she was married, and you stopped. If you want results, you gotta have more determination and keep trying.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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JustDoItAlways

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[edit, I didn't read the whole thread. There is more dissing you here than the situation I posted about below. I'm leaving it up because there are so many situations like this that DJs should know about.

Just totally back-off now and don't contact her until she apologizes for her behaviour. And when a chick says "Are you mad at me?" what she is really saying is "I have been a total b1tch and you should really b1tch me out right now and put me in place." You didn't and this just sounds like a lost cause to me.]


[Previous post]

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It is very common for chicks to flip out a little right after a vacation. Man, this so common it should be common knowledge.

Chicks always need a few days to re-settle back into their normal life after a trip while we guys usually think "I haven't seen you for awhile baby, I'm horny, lets get together the instant you get home okay." Chicks don't work this way.

Just leave her alone for a few days until she gets her normal-life head back on straight. Things will be back to normal in no time if you are just cool about the whole thing.

And, of course, the other thing to keep in mind is that chicks on vacation usually cheat. So your reaction is still the above and when she gets in contact with you again, you will know if something happened anyway.
 
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BrWnSugaMan

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What did she mean by she was "just joking about Jason"? Did she mean that Jason does not exist and she made it up? Or was she talking about not being at her cousins but being at Jasons? I'm confused.
 

RabidDog

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You confuse rather easily, and justdoit.. if he did that he would be more AFC than when he started.

NEXT---->

It's the only solution.
 

dietzcoi

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People involved in a relationship can never see the real truth, but the rest of us can.

I agree with the NEXTers but he won't do it.

We can only hope he will "learn from the burn"!

Dietzcoi
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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FratAndDiddy

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we have all been there bro.
it comes down to this: how hard to you want your heart pounded in?

like some of the other posters have said, it's a hell of lot easier to see your suffering on the sidelines and give advice. but, i tell you what, youre torturing yourself over someone who has moved on down the road and left you standing at an empty bus stop.

warm up that hot tub with someone who likes you better than imaginary jason.
 

CrzyBadBoyDJ

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What did she mean by she was "just joking about Jason"? Did she mean that Jason does not exist and she made it up? Or was she talking about not being at her cousins but being at Jasons? I'm confused.


I don't really know. She said that right after I asked where her friend Jason was. I think Jason exists but she was "just kidding" about going to see him that night. Yeah, it makes no sense to me either but I haven't called her ass and I don't plan on getting back with her. I got a whole weekend of partying ahead of me and a chick that already wants to be my "friend with benefits" so I'm trying to not worry about it. It hurts alittle, but I see more of what was wrong in the relationship now that time has passed.
 

CrzyBadBoyDJ

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So after about 8 days of hearing nothing from her or me not calling her, she calls me like two nights ago. We talked for about 8-10 minutes. It was a short phone call. It was like 9:30 and she said she was at her friend Stacey's house and she was making her dinner. We kept the convo light, and she didn't mention anything about us not seeing each other. I said I've been really really busy lately and thats why I haven't called her. She said 'Oh yeah?' kinda on the offensive.

I'm half-temped to just call her up and tell her that she hasn't been working out lately and we should just end it.

I might be dating this other HB soon and I don't want her showing up at the door one day when I'm with this girl and getting all pissed off because we didn't "officially breakup".

What do you guys think?
 

RabidDog

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Jesus.. this again?

I give up.

Marry the girl, honeymoon in Vegas, and have many babies.
 

CrzyBadBoyDJ

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Alright!
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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How did I miss this thread???

She is obviously seeing another dude - how can you miss this??? You must be extremely young and inexperienced! She is always saying that she is busy doing something with someone else - this 'someone else' is a 'dude' and not her friends or mom!

She said "I'll see you if I'm not sick" - this was the first clue that she doesn't want to see you anymore!! IF SHE IS NOT SICK - HUH?????? Why would she even think this - yet she is running around with everyone else!! Why premeditate a sickness? And if she has a illnesss this doesn't make it impossible for her to see you - unless she is blind!!!!

Don't tell her "I want to break up" - it is already over!! You and her know this - it doesn't have to be said! Start dating and find another.

Never get emotionally attached so early in the game and start seeing the warning signs a lot sooner that your girl is a cheating!
 

CrzyBadBoyDJ

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Yeah as soon as she got off the plane in Illinois she got a case of bronckis or some **** like that. She actually went to the ER at one point. And since then, she relapsed or some **** like that and went to a smaller hospital, but yeah I know what your saying.

So thats why I didn't see that as a warning sign when she said "if she's not sick" because I understood where she was coming from.
 
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