girlfriend come back from a long absence without me

[Kidquick]

This was similar to my ex-girls behavior right before we broke up - not calling, overall flakiness...it sounds to me like she is delaying potential conflict - proceed with caution.

 

[NewMan]

I agree - it's highly likely it's the begining of the end.

Thats why I would not initiate contact.

She's probably not looking forward to that "talk" and phone call. So if you don't contact her - the ball is in her court. You look like your just fine without her - which will probably hurt her ego. She'll then want to call and find out what the deal with you is. Believe me, women can't leave sleeping dogs lie.

 

[RabidDog]

Well I cast the first vote for "She wants to B/U, Dont call, and let her call you" scenerio.. and now we have two more. Hopefully were all wrong, but if not.. sounds like he will be fine regardless.

Notice how now all the posts are rolling in?

 

[CrzyBadBoyDJ]

We've been dating more then 2 months.

I got a phone call today while I was at the gym. I couldn't reach the for my phone in time and I think I hit the Reject button which would mean that the call wouldn't show up in the Missed Calls list. So that sucks. I wonder if it was her. I was contemplating calling her to ask if she called me but maybe I should just let it go.


It hurts to know that she might want to breakup but it doesn't really matter. I did a cold approach on some other HB at the gym today and got her number, but she's married! and only 19! woah!

maybe it's because she's getting porked elsewhere, or maybe I wasn't the greatest in bed because she was my first and I made a mistake telling her that she was my second. I don't know, but I'll keep you guys updated. Fo sho.


Yeah, I did notice the more posts! haha no prob though, I appreciate them.

 

[CrzyBadBoyDJ]

Yeah, that was definately her calling. Should I call back?

 

[cactus3178]

NO!

Let her leave you a message.

 

[JohnJones]

Two weeks out of an 8-9 week relationship is a pretty long time. I would say that potentially you should have waited longer before becoming exclusive.

At any rate, you have contacted her enough -- and if she really cares to talk to you she'd leave a message or call back again.

I would wait, not as a game but to let the emotions cool.

 

[CrzyBadBoyDJ]

Yo we'll it's too late. She called me back again, and I kept the convo short and sweet. It sure was great to hear her voice again and we started laughing and stuff together. She told me that she had to take her mom to the airport at 4am this morning and how her mom got to take a nice cruise and ****. I asked her why her phone was off all weekend and she told me that she broke it and she can only see like half the screen. Then she asked me if she can just go in and get another phone without changing phone numbers.

I asked her what she was doing tonight, and she goes "I don't know. " Then I said, "wanna get together tonight? You know I haven't seen you?"
and she said
"Actually, I was thinking of hanging out with my friend Jason because I always ditch him and hardly spend anytime with him."
then I was very silent...

"Your mad aren't you?"

silence....

"No I'm not mad" I told her.

playfully she goes "Your mad!"

and I said, "No I'm not. Hey I gotta go, I got some stuff I gotta take care off"

she's like "Ok?"

"I'll talk to you later then, Bye"

Then I hung up and damn near ****in' through my phone at the wall.






GODDAMMIT! I so shouldn't have called her back, now she probably thinks I'm jealous, but I'm really not I'm just pissed that she hasn't made an effort to see me after being away for so long but instead goes with her friend.

I've told her in the past that I don't care if she hangs out with guys, because I'm not a jealous person. Now she'll probably think otherwise. Dammit.

 

[CrzyBadBoyDJ]

I forgot, after she said "Are you mad?" the first time, she goes "Well I don't know because I'm not feeling to well and I have to goto the doctors office tomorrow morning"

thats when I was silent and then she asked me if I was mad again.



thats more like how the convo went.

 

[RabidDog]

Told you so.. don't go all AFC.

It's over man, she hasnt seen you in two weeks and makes up tripe-filled excuses like that?

Don't ask for advice if your not going to take it.

BTW,

Next ----->

 

[CrzyBadBoyDJ]

Yeah dude, your so right man. I can't let this chick get me down man.

I can only do so much to keep a relationship going. If this is how it's going to be then I'd rather be single.

 

[cactus3178]

So, bro....

Let me get this straight; your g/f went on a trip for two weeks, and has not seen you in person since she returned a few days ago, right?

While she was gone, se didn't bother to call you (land lines work too), didn't return your calls/messages (you can easily check VM from any phone), then called you back earlier today?

THEN, despite the fact that she hasn't seen you, her boyfriend, in two weeks, she wants to hang out with Jason, because she always ditches him?


Looking at this from the big picture, aka, a third party, I'd say things are not going well as far as IL is concerned. Make yourself busy and somewhat unavailable. No matter how hard it is on you (I have this problem as well), DO NOT call her until she calls you. Then feel out the situation.

Good luck my friend.

 

[RabidDog]

You shouldnt have to "work" in a proper relationship, once you find one it will just happen and flow in just the right way. If she is always blowing you off then that's at least a very low IL, which a relationship does not make.

Listen.. do not take any of her calls. You've already messed up royally, so you have to take it to the next level. DO not take her calls, and do not call her, and continue until she comes and sees you. Then use that time to reflect on what her real motives are.

Your AFC'ness is torture, why act like this? Is a girl that doesnt have the need to even see you worth all this melodramtic crap? No, she is'nt.

Now do what we say, and calm the hell down.

 

[NewMan]

Dude,

It's an emotional war your in. Understand it - and fight it.

Your fine calling her back, but you fvcked up by asking her out.

Don't ask her out. Don't ask her to do a god damn thing with you.

See she now knows that you are still interested in her.

What you've got to do, is to tell her (by your actions) that you don't care whether you see her or not.

She needs to get the idea that your getting th epoon elsewhere. That your busy with other chicks.

Don't be a b#tch and be afraid to let her know that either. If she asks what your doing, tell her your meet a chick at the gym that your going to get drinks with.

See how she reacts to that.

 

[Jay Fiedler]

Ill add my 2 cents worth.

First, I can say with 90% certainty that in her mind she has already broken up with you, she just hastn come out and said it yet. Or, there is also the chance that she is talking/dating someone else, and is waiting to see how that goes before making the final break with you. But, whatever is going on..for you it isn't good. Shes done.

Now, you have one chance and one chance only. And that is this.

Whatever instinct your mind and heart is telling you to do about her...DO THE EXACT OPPOSITE!! Because everything your young inexperienced mind is telling you to do is completely and utterly wrong!! Therefore, like George Constanza, the opposite must be correct! Im telling you live by this credo for the next month or so, and you just may, and I say may, have a shot. Dont call, dont beg, dont send flowers, dont talk to her period until she comes begging back.

Plus you have to realize, youve only been dating for a couple of months, hardly time to really get to know someone. There will be plenty of other girls out there for you, and much longer relationships, and much harder breakups. Trust me, the best (and worst) is yet to come!

 

[CrzyBadBoyDJ]

Ah cheers mates!

Here's the box of cool whip that will never be used.

Here's to the hot tub that will never be warmed.

Here's to my penis that will never be inside her again.


*drinks*

 

[CrzyBadBoyDJ]

So, I haven't called her in a few days and I haven't heard from her in a few days. The last phone call I had with her was the same night of the last one, and I was really high and she said that she was at her cousins all night watching her kids. This was at 10 o' clock. I asked her where her friend Jason was and she said that "She was just kidding" ???

Well, I can't help but think that all this is just a stupid bull**** mix-up. Like, what if I'm wrong about her. Maybe she just was busy with her mom because she was leaving for her trip and she really just wanted to be with her after her trip. It really pissed me off when she told me she was going to chill with her friend Jason instead of seeing me then said that she was sick and wasn't going anywhere that night. That still haunts me, but other then that I really ****in' miss her and want things to go good again. Maybe everything is just fighting over nothing. What do you guys think? Should I just call her and tell her to get her fine ass naked over here or just keep staying in darkness?

 

[Deadpan]

I'll tell you what man, and I say this with no malice at all. Go ahead and try to work things out. You won't succeed, but you'll come away knowing not to do this again. Sometimes we have to learn the hard way.

 

[RabidDog]

Originally posted by Deadpan
I'll tell you what man, and I say this with no malice at all. Go ahead and try to work things out. You won't succeed, but you'll come away knowing not to do this again. Sometimes we have to learn the hard way.

Agreed, go ahead and Fu<k up. It will school you on things, and maybe it will stick this time. She has'nt called you in a couple of days, that says it all my friend.

You have 3 choices at the moment.

A) Call her, and let her pwn your AFC ass yet again.
B) Next--->
C) Go find 2 girls to get naked.

I highly suggest you do B, and if your wise enough, you will do B & C together.

-Rabid

 

[CrzyBadBoyDJ]

I already found one chick to get naked with this saturday at a party, now I need to find another to be able to do C!