girlfriend come back from a long absence without me

[CrzyBadBoyDJ]

My girlfriend has been visiting her dad in illinois for 10 days and she got back friday night. Thursday night on the phone, we had plans to get together as long as she wasn't sick on saturday. Saturday rolls around and I was trying to get a hold of her and she had her phone off all day. I left her a message and she didn't even call me back until about a minute ago. I didn't answer it though, I thought it was completely ****ed up that she just got back from two weeks without seeing me and doesn't even bother to return my phone calls.

I missed her and was looking forward to seeing her. She just left a voice mail message that said "Sorry, I haven't called you back, i've been busy with changing my medication and uh.. hanging out with my mom." thats what her brother said she was doing when I called her today.

What do you think is her problem? Is she testing me somehow to see how much of her **** I can put up with? I'm thinking of not calling her at all this week and just see if she even tries to make contact.

Before the vacation she called me everyday and during the vacation her phone calls where like once or twice the whole time. I didn't call her much either because I figured she was busy spending time with her father and I'd just let her be with him.

Anywho, someone please discuss this with me, it's driving me nuts.

 

[CrzyBadBoyDJ]

Keep in mind that this is sunday night, and I just now heard from her.

 

[CrzyBadBoyDJ]

bumpage!

 

[RabidDog]

Originally posted by CrzyBadBoyDJ
"Sorry, I haven't called you back, i've been busy with changing my medication and uh.. hanging out with my mom." thats what her brother said she was doing when I called her today.

we had plans to get together as long as she wasn't sick on saturday. Saturday rolls around and I was trying to get a hold of her and she had her phone off all day.

I highly suspect something is up.

 

[CrzyBadBoyDJ]

Yeah thats how she said it.

 

[RabidDog]

edited my above post.. and IMHO, she is getting ready to make her move. But all I have to go on is your posts of course. But I see 2 or 3 red flags already. : /

 

[CrzyBadBoyDJ]

What do you mean by make her move? Like break up?

 

[RabidDog]

LJBF's, Break, Break-Up, or some other major relationship change. 2 weeks can increase IL, or it can give someone time to think, and gain courage to make a big change.

But like I said, I have very little to go on, so take that with a grain of salt. But in my 28 years, this type of behavior always occurs before something bad. I've done this myself more than a few times when my DJ level was top-notch.

Are you sure the whole 2 weeks she was with her dad? I once told my ex that I was at a convention for a week and used a phone card to make it look like I was out of state, when I was about 10 minutes away with a 19 y/o pounding away.

I guess we need more info and some background info, and more people to post too, lol.

 

[CrzyBadBoyDJ]

yeah she was, it's been planned for a month and she was in illinois with her brother too without her mom. so yeah i totally believe her there.

 

[CrzyBadBoyDJ]

before she left she was getting kinda flaky too, she used to call me everyday to see how I was doing, and a few days before the trip she just stopped. and I stopped. but I called her the night before and she hardly talked, she claimed that she was really tired and packing the **** for the trip

 

[NewMan]

DOn't call her back - wait for her to call you.

 

[RabidDog]

And yet another red flag, actually two.

1. Flakiness
2. Not wanting to talk right before she leaves for 2 weeks, and had'nt talked to you for a bit.

BUT, calling everyday will kill a LTR very quickly, perhaps she is feeling crowded. I would just let her alone for a while. Let her call you.. If she does'nt call by the first of next week, then she's most likely let herself off the hook without the dirty part. Give her some space, she will show her true colors.. and shortly.

 

[CrzyBadBoyDJ]

How should I act if she does call?

Like should I tell her that I didn't appreciate her coming back from the trip and not bothering to call when I was still under the impression that we might get together on Sat?

Or should I just move on and "forget" about this.





Christ man, there's so many other girls I could be with right now, but I'm in a relationship with this girl because I still like her, but I won't put up with her ****.

 

[RabidDog]

DONT let her know your stewing, that just empowers her. Keep the convo short and sweet, then say your busy and have to go. Then gauge her reaction. BUT I would not take her call for at least a day or two, I know it's hard but it's severely needed at this point. Then around thursday or Firday, if she's depressed, you can start talking a lil more, but make sure you still maintain IL. then you will have time to decide if you still want her as a g/f, or want to be single some more.

In the meantime, go out and flirt and spend some time with others, it will give you clarity and take your mind off of things at the same time.

 

[CrzyBadBoyDJ]

Thanks alot for the info Rabid. I'll call her thursday or something. It's definately hard, but I can do it.

 

[RabidDog]

Originally posted by CrzyBadBoyDJ
Thanks alot for the info Rabid. I'll let her call me thursday or something. It's definately hard, but I can do it.

Fixed, and your welcome.

I've noticed lately that most people on here wont reply to a thread if it concerns a LTR problem, or has no other replies. It's like they are nervous a better DJ will make them look bad.. but again maybe I'm being paranoid?

I've been wrong beforem that's why the disclaimer!

 

[CrzyBadBoyDJ]

Haha, dude I was thinking the same thing. As soon as it gets a response other people feel inclined to write their opinions. I guess no one wants to feel like they are giving bad advice or get called on it by their "peers" here. It's interesting to say the least.

 

[RabidDog]

yeah, it's hard enough to give relationship advice to people you've known forever, but people on the net, that you only have "one side" of the story so to speak, is even worse. But if people do'nt feel up to giving their take, maybe they should'nt after all.

I just try to use my experiences and help where I can, and try to resist using TTIWWP, or PIIHB... I've been posting on forums for waaay too long. I swear I said "lol" out loud the other day. I've cut back on the net since then.

Anyway, good luck with your situation and I look forward to an update later on in the week. If nothing else shoot me a PM.

-Rabid

 

[CrzyBadBoyDJ]

Haha, yeah I've done that before, but *I think* no one heard me!

 

[JohnJones]

How long have you been dating?