Girlfriend broke up with me

[PickSix]

Okay so me and my girlfriend met in 2008 we had a relationship than a short one than got back together in 2010, broke up than got back in 2011 for 1.5 years solidly. Then broke up 3 times in 2013. Last one being at the end of it.

We had a relationship where we both didn't have guy or girl friends or too many anyway.

End of 2013 her cousin died of cancer, beginning of 2014 her dad nearly died of heart attack, and I actually wasn't fully there for her, I told her I couldn't talk on phone two days after her dad had heart attack and I went to a party, next minute i was tagged and a video was posted had 4 girls sitting around me and dancing around me on the video.

Next day get a text from here saying its over have fun with yours sluts, druggies, parties, you proved yourself by lieing bla bla

Okay I was wrong but I do love her but I don't know if she loves me, irony of it is her brother asked me to go gym today and its valentines day, ye I am friends with him but we barely go gym so ye.. We had a massive argument on phone half a year go but two weeks ago he randomly rang me asking me how I have been after 6months of no contact, then we went for coffee and now gym

I have texted her once a week ago saying lets get together and talk I did you wrong, bla bla bla.

She is type of girl that if I call will pick up and say whos this and know its me and when i say my name will hang up. She is very emotional and controlling but I love her because compared to a lot of girls she isn't a slvt and I took her virginity.

Is there another way to do this ****?

Should I talk to her bro tonight? Or anything, I don't want her thinking i dont care on valentines day should i give her any attention, she loved attention off me every night she wanted to talk on phone for 2 hours and I always made excuses.

 

[Yewki]

You know the situation better than anyone else, but from my perspective you have two options,

1) hook up with her brother at the gym and send her pics of you two making out in the locker room

2) accept the brother's invitation to the gym even though it's clearly some time of ploy by her. Use it to reinforce to the brother your sincere regret for being a jackass towards her. Don't overdo it, change the subject if he keeps trying to talk about it. He will relay that info to her. Ignore her on valentines and every other day for that matter (don't be spiteful just indifferent) and channel your energy on laying some plates. When she eventually comes to you, you can decide what to do with her. It sounds like you've already tried to apologize to her several times, time to stop groveling to her. But if you haven't actually send some type of sincere apology to her, you should do that first.

 

[TheCleanPleb]

You know the situation better than anyone else, but from my perspective you have two options,

1) hook up with her brother at the gym and send her pics of you two making out in the locker room

2) accept the brother's invitation to the gym even though it's clearly some time of ploy by her. Use it to reinforce to the brother your sincere regret for being a jackass towards her. Don't overdo it, change the subject if he keeps trying to talk about it. He will relay that info to her. Ignore her on valentines and every other day for that matter (don't be spiteful just indifferent) and channel your energy on laying some plates. When she eventually comes to you, you can decide what to do with her. It sounds like you've already tried to apologize to her several times, time to stop groveling to her. But if you haven't actually send some type of sincere apology to her, you should do that first.

This. Number 1 is your best bet but option 2 would work just as well.

 

[rascal99v]

Okay so me and my girlfriend met in 2008 we had a relationship than a short one than got back together in 2010, broke up than got back in 2011 for 1.5 years solidly. Then broke up 3 times in 2013. Last one being at the end of it.

She is very emotional and controlling

What makes you think the next time you get back together is going to be any better? How many times did you break up? at least 5 times? The next time isn't going to change. She is still going to be emotional and controlling. In fact, she is controlling your emotions and behavior as we speak. No need to go through all the B.S. and drama over a chick. You are putting in way too much work into this chick. She should be coming to you instead. Find new women and if she wants you back make her work for it. The more you work for her, the more she holds the power over you. A fresh relationship works better anyway.

 

[PickSix]

We broke up a lot of times. We actually really did/do love each other. Her family use to love me she liked my family and use to get all jittery around them.

We had a good thing, and I actually would of wanted to marry her which sounds wack and she wanted the same thing.

I don't want to act AFC with her, but I think acting a little AFC in the case of telling a girl you would want to be with her forever isn't really AFC? I don't know what I am going to do?

Going gym with her bro in like 4 hours

 

[JoeMarron]

We broke up a lot of times. We actually really did/do love each other. Her family use to love me she liked my family and use to get all jittery around them.

We had a good thing, and I actually would of wanted to marry her which sounds wack and she wanted the same thing.

I don't want to act AFC with her, but I think acting a little AFC in the case of telling a girl you would want to be with her forever isn't really AFC? I don't know what I am going to do?

Going gym with her bro in like 4 hours

What the fvck...I'm not even going to give advice to this nonsense. Read your bible until you memorize every word

http://www.mts.net/~bpony/djbible/

 

[PickSix]

Can i have some advice for my situation?

 

[gravityeyelids]

Move on.

 

[j0504s]

you asked for real advice this is the best you will get,

In all honesty, your the opitomy of putting a girl on a pedistal...."shes the one and only"
out of curiosity how old are you?

Whatever your issues have been in previous break ups doesnt just disapere...its like the classic snoring story...

You date a girl everythings amazing but at 2 am every morning you wake up from her snoring...one day you cant take it anymore...so you bolt....a couple weeks/months/years...you make contact...you get back togeather...you bang...then suddenly, you wake up at 2 am from her snoring again....the problem never went away...if you want to continue be a slave to this relationship...be my guest buddy....if you wanna truly be happy and free...MOVE ON...EXS are EXS for a reason.

The mind set that you will never meet a chick as good as her is horrible 3 billion in the world buddy. I meet awsome chicks daily....She owns you...you have this wieght of emotion all day every day, due to her...

You ask if she still loves you....someone who loves someone doesnt put them through this kinda stuff...I dont mean to sound harsh just trying to give help, honestly she sounds super selfish...and if she does "like you" ( and i say like b/c again if she loved you she woulndt do this) going through her borther instead of being stright foward playing these games...WHEN A FEMALE LIKES A GUY SHE WILL GO OUT OF HER WAY TO LET HIM KNOW...again....GO OUT OF HER WAY...this is real life, not a disney movie or a fairytale, you are not some boarderline chick, so act like a man...not a pawn in her little game..."ooo today im going to pretend idk who he is hang up on him, then have my brother call him to get info" how sick is that....well thats what u exprience.

BUT MAN UP....you clearly do not think you are the prize, so start working on that for starters....I will attach some links that will be of help...The First is about avoiding drama....the 2nd is are you kidding for considering an EX....the third is to help you learn how to become the prize....these will solve all your problems...Good Luck

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=2026742#post2026742

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=2031275#post2031275

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=2052240#post2052240

good luck buddy,
J0504S

 

[Cremasta]

Can i have some advice for my situation?

Stick to your parties and have heaps of one night stands.
You're not ready for a solid relationship. You don't fix a relationship by constantly breaking up... and not being there for her when her dad had a heart attack was a pretty poor move on your part.

Go out, have fun, shag every random girl who takes your fancy, because that is where your head is really at right now. Trying to push yourself into a relationship is just going to cause dramas for everyone involved.

 

[PickSix]

UPDATE::

Below is some more background info:

The last break up was my fault her cousin died of Cancer in November 2013 and her dad had a heart attack in December 2013 he nearly died she messaged me about it and I didn't reply till the next day and didn't even offer to see her or do anything for her and then two days later i told her I was going home to sleep and she ended up seeing me tagged a party with girls all around with a video on Facebook.

She then messaged me saying something along the lines of have fun with all your sluts junkies and parties you proved yourself your out of my life.

THIS IS THE NEW STUFF

Fast Forward middle of February after no contact after she broke up with me. I sent her a text message saying are you seeing someone and she said doesn't matter and than I kept pressing her and she called me.

Me: Are you
Her: None of your business
Me: Just tell me
Her: I don't have too
Me: Just tell me I need to know
Her: No I am not, and it doesn't mean anything
Me: Okay who you with
Her: None of your business
Me: Tell me
Her: With friends
Her: I am going to enjoy my valentines day bye

Hangs this is at like 10pm I dont think she was with guys

Fast Forward today I try to talk to her, and she starts saying I don't want to talk to you or see you, you weren't there for me when I needed you and I won't be there for you anymore.

I said meet up with me say it to my face and I will never bother you again, and she goes I don't want to say it your face I am saying it on message. She than was texting me stuff like I am so happy without you. You just hurt me for so many years etc etc.

Now what are the best ways to say sorry to this girl?
Can I get her back?
Is there a way to say sorry after doing what I did?

 

[MrNiceGuy23]

You've been dating / seeing this girl on and off for around 6 years...her dad almost dies of a heart attack and you find it too hard too call her or see her during this time? You go out partying instead and wonder why she dumped you?

Some people are truly lost. You sound like a real douche. I'm not one to judge people for their actions because I've done my fair share of wrongs, but I strongly dislike people like you. It seems like you're just after her to validate your ego but instead you're coming off as a pathetic afc. Move on, leave her alone, you've caused her enough pain and torment through your inability to be compassionate in any sense of the word. After 6 years you weren't close with her father at all? His almost dying from a heart attack didn't sadden you at all to the point where you wanted to be there for your girlfriend and her family? You wanted to party with girls dancing around you instead?

If you're going to act like you care about somebody, then don't go off and act like a **** only to come crying on here when she realizes what you're doing. Be straight up, if you want to be an ******* be an ******* but don't deceive people to get what you want. My ex was like you, wanted everything her way regardless of who it hurt but then when she lost control she got all sad and remorseful.

 

[PickSix]

I was at the party for about 15 minutes in soccer shorts too, but it seemed worst than it was. I know I was wrong. I know she must think what a diikhead.

That ego part could be true? and maybe I am coming off as an AFC,

But I do not know what I can do to get her back, I actually want to be a good boyfriend to her, and I know I wasn't.

I just wrote like a 8 page letter hand written to her, dont even know what to do with it.

 

[TheCWord]

Pick, this sounds like one of those relationships that you're going to learn an awful lot from. I remember being with a girl for three years and I was a ****. When it was over I said and did crazy sh*t like you're doing right now, because you suddenly realized you were being a **** and you wanted to repair something that could not be repaired.

It sounds so tragic like it's the end of the world to you right now. I'm sure the regret is sending your mind racing. But seriously, it's a lesson for the next girl, NOT THIS ONE. Take some time to regroup and be happy that you'll get a fresh start with another girl down the line and you won't make the same mistakes.

While you're recovering, read the DJ BIble and read these forums to make sure you don't overcompensate and become too chumpy (like in that recent text convo) because that's not going to work for girls either.

In all honesty, your the opitomy of putting a girl on a pedistal....

*Epitome. Just cause we're all here to learn

 

[buzzin_frog]

Me: Are you
Her: None of your business
Me: Just tell me
Her: I don't have too
Me: Just tell me I need to know
Her: No I am not, and it doesn't mean anything
Me: Okay who you with
Her: None of your business
Me: Tell me
Her: With friends
Her: I am going to enjoy my valentines day bye

Hangs this is at like 10pm I dont think she was with guys

Never try to get an ex back!!

Dude....this chick is telling you straight up it's done and you keep pestering her....get over it.....it's done!!

It's a shame that some guys don't take the great advice they receive.......instead they ignore what others have to say....they keep going after their ex.....begging them.....getting sh!t on even more....while they lose their dignity, self respect, and drive the chick farther away.

This is another classic example of a dude who lost control.....he allows this chick to have carte blanche to treat him the way she wants

Look at that conversation above....you are doing all the questioning......while she gets to be vague.....she is in control.....making you more insecure while you wonder what she is really doing

This conversation should be the other way around......you should be the one to be telling her "none of your business" and have her wondering if you're banging other chicks.....NOT you wondering if she is fvckng other men!!

She is holding all the cards here dude....and she is loving every minute of it....she gets to watch you squirm as she is laughing at you along with her friends

She has you right where she wants you....while you just play along with her game

She should be the one begging you to take her back.....not you begging and being insecure of what she's doing.....she doesn't view you as a real man.....that's why she is treating you like a turd

The more you continue on with this charade......the more you will wreck your confidence.....which will result in making it harder for you to obtain new women in the future.....because you will be totally drained after this chick gets done controlling and manipulating you!!

Look at all the time you're wasting on this stupid ex of yours....instead of writing her letters being a beta....you should be out getting numbers and fvcking other women....then this ex woudn't even matter to you....then maybe she will see that you improved yourself enough to want to get you back....but with other better women in your life, you won't need her!!

Get your mind on other things......go out and meet new people....do some activities that will expand your mind and focus on yourself becoming a better man!!

Valentine's Day was yesterday.....instead of pining away wondering what she was doing....you missed out on a huge opportunity to have fun yourself and fvcking another chick....quit allowing this ex run your life, thoughts, and emotions.....the relationship is over....accept it and move on!!

Stop it.....just forget about this chick and move on.....the past doesn't matter anymore.....it doesn't matter if you were ever in control

She is in control now and will always be......you can't get her back unless she wants you back.....and why would you want to go back to her?.....you want more drama and bvllsh!t like what's going on now?

She has an excuse to keep the relationship from ever getting back together....the Facebook thing she keeps bringing up......she will always use that excuse as a reason why she doesn't want you.....so take the hint and move on!!

Pretty soon she is going to tell you that she has a new boyfriend.....and she will go on and on about him how wonderful he is....and how terrible you are....do you really want to hear that?......you will feel even more sh!tty than you do now when she tells you to move on herself!!

You should be making her come after you....not you chasing after her....that makes you a powerless man with no control.......because you are always marching to the beat of her drum....and this chick knows that!!

This is why I always say it's useless to try to get an ex back.....the relationship will never be the same again....chicks who dump you will always have the power.....when you talk to her she will treat you like sh!t....you will always be on the defensive.....and everything you do will always be under her own terms....isn't this how this situation is playing out?

I took some time out writing this advice to you.....so take it and understand that you are wasting your time here....this isn't going to get any better....it's only going to get worse....if you want to be foolish and keep chasing her....then go ahead....just be warned that after she gets done having her fun with you....she will take one more final dump on you when she tells you fvck off for good.....I really hope that you don't stick around for that

Cut your losses now and quit wasting your valuable time on a chick who isn't worth it....there are plenty more chicks out there where you don't have to be insecure going through a bunch of sh!t!!

Below are a couple of threads that you should read regarding No Contact and NOT trying to get an ex back....both of these threads will benefit you....read them and apply that to your situation!!


No Contact with an ex
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=204830

How To Get an EX Back....Don't!!
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=204533

 

[Yewki]

UPDATE::

Below is some more background info:

The last break up was my fault her cousin died of Cancer in November 2013 and her dad had a heart attack in December 2013 he nearly died she messaged me about it and I didn't reply till the next day and didn't even offer to see her or do anything for her and then two days later i told her I was going home to sleep and she ended up seeing me tagged a party with girls all around with a video on Facebook.

She then messaged me saying something along the lines of have fun with all your sluts junkies and parties you proved yourself your out of my life.

THIS IS THE NEW STUFF

Fast Forward middle of February after no contact after she broke up with me. I sent her a text message saying are you seeing someone and she said doesn't matter and than I kept pressing her and she called me.

Me: Are you
Her: None of your business
Me: Just tell me
Her: I don't have too
Me: Just tell me I need to know
Her: No I am not, and it doesn't mean anything
Me: Okay who you with
Her: None of your business
Me: Tell me
Her: With friends
Her: I am going to enjoy my valentines day bye

Hangs this is at like 10pm I dont think she was with guys

Fast Forward today I try to talk to her, and she starts saying I don't want to talk to you or see you, you weren't there for me when I needed you and I won't be there for you anymore.

I said meet up with me say it to my face and I will never bother you again, and she goes I don't want to say it your face I am saying it on message. She than was texting me stuff like I am so happy without you. You just hurt me for so many years etc etc.

Now what are the best ways to say sorry to this girl?
Can I get her back?
Is there a way to say sorry after doing what I did?

Holy **** is this a joke? You literally would have been better off making out with her brother at the gym and posting pics like I joking suggested. You basically did the worst thing possible.

You didn't listen, did the complete opposite, and you're now asking for more advice? Why, so you can disregard it and continue to act like an AFC chump?

I just wrote like a 8 page letter hand written to her, dont even know what to do with it.

Wow... burn it and move on. Of course you won't.

 

[IndeedSir]

You were a sh1t boyfriend, actually, you were a **** person (you seriously went out partying after her dad had a heart attack and she asked you to be there? I know we preach indifference but **** me I hope that's not what guys think they're supposed to do), then you AFC'd the fvck out the situation straight after. I will tell you right now, you have ZERO chance of getting this girl back. The odds aren't good even if you manage to keep your frame and attraction after splitting with a girl. Odds are this girl is telling everyone how horrible you were to her and they're jaws are dropping at the story. You will not be getting back with her.

That said, we all make mistakes. I've made a lot of really terrible ones. Learning from them is all you can do. Take that lesson and become a better person. That's the only way to make amends. I would send her the apology letter, she deserves it. But I wouldn't be trying to get back with her. Time to move on and do some self evaluation. And as someone said, read the damn DJ bible.

 

[LiveFreeX]

Celebrate, goto the phillipines, fvck girls. done... case closed.

 

[PickSix]

Never try to get an ex back!!

Dude....this chick is telling you straight up it's done and you keep pestering her....get over it.....it's done!!

It's a shame that some guys don't take the great advice they receive.......instead they ignore what others have to say....they keep going after their ex.....begging them.....getting sh!t on even more....while they lose their dignity, self respect, and drive the chick farther away.

This is another classic example of a dude who lost control.....he allows this chick to have carte blanche to treat him the way she wants

Look at that conversation above....you are doing all the questioning......while she gets to be vague.....she is in control.....making you more insecure while you wonder what she is really doing

This conversation should be the other way around......you should be the one to be telling her "none of your business" and have her wondering if you're banging other chicks.....NOT you wondering if she is fvckng other men!!

She is holding all the cards here dude....and she is loving every minute of it....she gets to watch you squirm as she is laughing at you along with her friends

She has you right where she wants you....while you just play along with her game

She should be the one begging you to take her back.....not you begging and being insecure of what she's doing.....she doesn't view you as a real man.....that's why she is treating you like a turd

The more you continue on with this charade......the more you will wreck your confidence.....which will result in making it harder for you to obtain new women in the future.....because you will be totally drained after this chick gets done controlling and manipulating you!!

Look at all the time you're wasting on this stupid ex of yours....instead of writing her letters being a beta....you should be out getting numbers and fvcking other women....then this ex woudn't even matter to you....then maybe she will see that you improved yourself enough to want to get you back....but with other better women in your life, you won't need her!!

Get your mind on other things......go out and meet new people....do some activities that will expand your mind and focus on yourself becoming a better man!!

Valentine's Day was yesterday.....instead of pining away wondering what she was doing....you missed out on a huge opportunity to have fun yourself and fvcking another chick....quit allowing this ex run your life, thoughts, and emotions.....the relationship is over....accept it and move on!!

Stop it.....just forget about this chick and move on.....the past doesn't matter anymore.....it doesn't matter if you were ever in control

She is in control now and will always be......you can't get her back unless she wants you back.....and why would you want to go back to her?.....you want more drama and bvllsh!t like what's going on now?

She has an excuse to keep the relationship from ever getting back together....the Facebook thing she keeps bringing up......she will always use that excuse as a reason why she doesn't want you.....so take the hint and move on!!

Pretty soon she is going to tell you that she has a new boyfriend.....and she will go on and on about him how wonderful he is....and how terrible you are....do you really want to hear that?......you will feel even more sh!tty than you do now when she tells you to move on herself!!

You should be making her come after you....not you chasing after her....that makes you a powerless man with no control.......because you are always marching to the beat of her drum....and this chick knows that!!

This is why I always say it's useless to try to get an ex back.....the relationship will never be the same again....chicks who dump you will always have the power.....when you talk to her she will treat you like sh!t....you will always be on the defensive.....and everything you do will always be under her own terms....isn't this how this situation is playing out?

I took some time out writing this advice to you.....so take it and understand that you are wasting your time here....this isn't going to get any better....it's only going to get worse....if you want to be foolish and keep chasing her....then go ahead....just be warned that after she gets done having her fun with you....she will take one more final dump on you when she tells you fvck off for good.....I really hope that you don't stick around for that

Cut your losses now and quit wasting your valuable time on a chick who isn't worth it....there are plenty more chicks out there where you don't have to be insecure going through a bunch of sh!t!!

Below are a couple of threads that you should read regarding No Contact and NOT trying to get an ex back....both of these threads will benefit you....read them and apply that to your situation!!


No Contact with an ex
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=204830

How To Get an EX Back....Don't!!
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=204533

I appreciate your reply. I feel guilty for the relationships ending, I ****ed I was meant to be there and I didn't give a shiyt about her.

I feel sometimes I need to do something to make ammends. Because i was a demolished boyfriend

You were a sh1t boyfriend, actually, you were a **** person (you seriously went out partying after her dad had a heart attack and she asked you to be there? I know we preach indifference but **** me I hope that's not what guys think they're supposed to do), then you AFC'd the fvck out the situation straight after. I will tell you right now, you have ZERO chance of getting this girl back. The odds aren't good even if you manage to keep your frame and attraction after splitting with a girl. Odds are this girl is telling everyone how horrible you were to her and they're jaws are dropping at the story. You will not be getting back with her.

That said, we all make mistakes. I've made a lot of really terrible ones. Learning from them is all you can do. Take that lesson and become a better person. That's the only way to make amends. I would send her the apology letter, she deserves it. But I wouldn't be trying to get back with her. Time to move on and do some self evaluation. And as someone said, read the damn DJ bible.

I know what you mean, her friends are probbaly telling her this guy does absolutely not care about you. I don't even know whats the go here anymore, she always said she wanted to be with me forever.

 

[Dgwizdal]

You've made every wrong mistake possible and then some. Read the just got dumped or rejection guide. It's over completely and her attraction to you is non existent. Do not talk to this girl ever again or your balls will further recede into your vagina with every text you send. Cut her from your life and focus on yourself.