Girlfriend Becoming Sad

[Delly2000]

So I have been with my girlfriend for about 10 months.

She says she loves me etc. I have never said I love her....although I do.

We have taken some trips last month so I kept her pretty busy exposing her to my life. I go to Cali and vegas etc. She had never been.

So we had a blast.

But now she seems to be getting sad now that we are back home. She says she doesnt know why she is sad. I asked if it was something to do with me or us she was like no. If that was the case I she would tell me.

How it started.

Basically I went to the gym. Came back. She cleaned the house and everything..and just started acting sad. I wondered if she went snooping through my drawers and saw pictures of exes (I have since thrown them away...i dont care about them). Just seemed localized the sadness.

So now I am not quite sure what to do. I have no idea why she is sad. I keep her busy with things to do.

So I am just confused. I hope it goes away. It would suck to lose her. Because she is a really good girl. But who knows maybe she isn't the one.

She askes me things like if I am happy with her. I say yes. She tells me she loves me. She even took me to go see her grandfather and he basically grilled me saying I am all she talks about and he hopes my intentions are good.

Any thoughts?

 

[Married Buried]

Basically I went to the gym. Came back. She cleaned the house and everything..and just started acting sad. I wondered if she went snooping through my drawers and saw pictures of exes (I have since thrown them away...i dont care about them). Just seemed localized the sadness.

Ofcourse she snooped through your drawers and whatever else is in the house. It's what they do. Just look at Iqqi for example.

She is also probably following you around and hiding in the bushes.

 

[SoSuave666]

A huge difference between men and women is that women depend on other people for happiness. As a man, you are in control of your own level of happiness. If a b!tch is unhappy, watch out dude.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Take her out, do something nice for her to make her feel special. Buy a basket and put all her favorite stuff in it. Girls love crap like that specially if you made it.

 

[betheman]

she has found something that is piss!ng her off, its now piss!ing you off, tell ehr its piss1ng you off and it needs to stop because youre not prepared to live like this. stay calm, say it like a command. dotn get intoa discussison, she changed, not you, its her problem, when she cracks, bang her good

 

[Die Hard]

Next time she tells you she loves you, tell her you love her too.

 

[PDubb75]

I think Die Hard got it. How would you feel if you kept telling someone you loved them and they never said it back? She's probably confused as hell.

Especially since it's not a lie, telling her you love her would be my first attempt to resolve it.

 

[The Duke]

I'd say she's sad because you aren't as into the relationship as much as she is.

If you want something to continue with her and she is worth it and you truly do love her, tell her.

I had stuff(pics,dried flowers, etc) from my exe's in my house that I didn't even pay attention to. My girl was sad for a while so when I asked her she let me know about all of the things I had of exes in my house. I immediately disposed of the things she pointed out and she got over it.

These girls all want to be your #1. Most are pretty insecure, low self esteem, and need to hear you love and desire them and all that pillow talk. Its where they get their "value" from. Men get value from their self accomplishments. Women get value from others.

So just get rid of the artifacts from your exe's, tell her how great she is and how into her you are, and lay the cok to her whle you ravage all of her hot spots!

 

[DonJuanabe]

Send her a dozen roses at work signed your secret admirer with an invitation and dinner date attached for that night. Be the secret admirer at the dinner and tell her you love her the moment you see her.

 

[Delly2000]

Interesting insight.

You guys dont think that maybe becasue we spend every weekend together and all that things are getting a little predictable for her. Maybe she getting bored. Like maybe I should space out my time with her. Maybe even spend some time again with my friends which I guess I have been putting off for a little bit.

Scale back my time with her to once a week?

Also do you think I should just bring up like "out of the blue" that I happened to run into some pictures of ex-girlfriends in my drawer. That I was sorry if she saw them and that I have thrown them away as they are nowhere near remote to me?

 

[AAAgent]

I've learned its always better to always say less and do more.

I agree with everyone here about you doing something nice for her, not AFC style or anything. This girl basically seems really into you, but not only have you ever told her proactively how you enjoy her company, you also sound like you lack emotion.

Now if she can't read through your actions that you care, she would atleast hope to be re-assured through some words like "I love you." which you won't say. She's probably just looking for some re-assurance. Whichever way you find comfortable that is your style of showing you care, i would do that.

It would be extremely weird to do any of those surprise dates/say "I love you" out of the blue as it doesn't seem to be your style.

 

[PDubb75]

Delly,

I don't think it's too much to be spending every weekend with your g/f of 10 months. Especially when you are in love with each other (even though you won't tell her that). Unless of course, there have been signs that seeing you so much is more like an obligation. But aside from that case, I don't think that is your issue.

If things are predictable, I don't think seeing her less is the route to go. Changing up what you guys do would be the first step. Maybe some of these surprise dates just to say you love her aren't the route to go, but surprise dates just to do something different is a great option.

I wouldn't bring up the pictures. You said you got rid of them. If she brings it up, tell her then that you found them too and got rid of them. If she never saw them, mentioning it will be weird. Suspicious, even. Basically, just don't volunteer that information.

 

[DonJuanabe]

Girls love bed & breakfasts. Try not to hurl.

 

[Delly2000]

I feel you guys. I dont think taking her somewhere plush or getting gifts is the answer. We just came off of a nice trip about 3 weeks ago.

Went LA. Did alot of stuff there (universal, music festivals, shopping etc).

Then we went to Vegas and stayed in a nice hotel (one of the new ones on the strip...everything in the room remote controlled). Saw some shows and did some exploring. She loved it.


I am just worried that she needs to be kept on a consistent high and somehow that is my job. That isnt my job entirely. Basically I cant change who I am.

She needs to find some other stuff to entertain her. If it is another man so be it. Or hang out with her girlfriends. Dont just flip the switch and be sad all of a sudden. Who wants to be around that? I have my own problems. I dont want hers. Bad as that sounds.

Thing is. I get teh feeling she wouldnt mind being around me 24/7 matter fact she probably wants to. But in that time frame she expects me to keep her engaged. And if I dont I am afraid this would result in a drop in her interest level (becoming sad).

I dont beleive in telling a girl i love her anymore. I just think its a statement that is used lightly. I am basing this off of all my previous girlfriends.

Some where they said they loved me. THen a month later or two later they are in another relationship. Or engaged to be married or something like that. And they are all the same.

I guarantee how ever much they say they love you. After a break up...a month or two later they just dating someone else. So why say it?

Thinking about these exes making me sick. I stayed around too much longer than I should have.

Go be sad around her friends. Dont bring it around me. I dont bring it around her. U guys feel me?