Girlfriend and grinding

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Because they can.

I don't think so. I believe it's because they want to.

 

[comic_relief]

I don't know what exactly happened since last night, but when I tried to even talk with her about it today. She refused to talk about it and said that she wouldn't do it actually. She said that she was just joking around.

I don't know what happened exactly but she had an about face on that subject.

I'll keep you updated.

comic_relief

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I don't know what exactly happened since last night, but when I tried to even talk with her about it today. She refused to talk about it and said that she wouldn't do it actually. She said that she was just joking around.

I don't know what happened exactly but she had an about face on that subject.

I'll keep you updated.

comic_relief

Hmmmm.... Did an immediate about face but won't talk about it... Curious....

 

[comic_relief]

Hmmmm.... Did an immediate about face but won't talk about it... Curious....

I'm keeping my eye on it. Protect my heart, I know.

I'm going to treat this as a sh!t test and keep firm in what I told her. That way, if it is, she will try to push the boundries and I will be ready, by following through with what I said I would do.

comic_relief

 

[penkitten]

I don't know what exactly happened since last night, but when I tried to even talk with her about it today. She refused to talk about it and said that she wouldn't do it actually. She said that she was just joking around.

I don't know what happened exactly but she had an about face on that subject.

I'll keep you updated.

comic_relief

you know, my daughter refuses to talk to me about things when she doesnt want to get into trouble.
then when i question her behavior she tells me she was just kidding about whatever it was.
then when i look at her and demand to get some sort of answer...
she lies.
not only does she lie to my face, but she does it with a straight face.
a perfectly straight one.

now my boys cant lie to me. they feel bad. they look at their feet. they wiggle around. i can tell immediately and so can everyone else.

however this daughter of mine, thinks she has all her bases covered when she lies. she doesnt look down, she looks me in the eyes. she doesnt wiggle, she stays perfectly straight. its obvious that the only time she is ever perfectly still is when she is trying to tell a lie. her eyes even seem to glaze over as if you arent suppose to know what she is thinking. you can immediately tell.


hope that helps.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Ciomis_Relief Aka Baseball Dj - What did I tell you about being with hors!!! Whether she "grinded" or not is not the issue - it is her mindset!!! She is of the hor mindset and should be done away with!!!! No, I'm not talking about killing her, I'm talking about eliminating her from your life!!!!

A G/F = full-time hor!!

You were disrespected gravely - to assert your manhood you must leave the hor - anything less is weak and your manhood is in jeopardy!!!!!!!!

 

[wolf116]

I don't know what exactly happened since last night, but when I tried to even talk with her about it today. She refused to talk about it and said that she wouldn't do it actually. She said that she was just joking around.

I don't know what happened exactly but she had an about face on that subject.

I'll keep you updated.

comic_relief

Don't accept that behaviour. Tell the that you also like "joaking around" then do some grinding of your own. She owns you ATM.

 

[Snow Plowman]

Well it already happened and I think you overreacted.

Chicks love going into state and that's why a lot of them go to the club to get all pumpped up. The grinding is pumping there state and that's what's fun about it. That's why she thought of it as fun and just hanging with her friends to have fun. This doesn't actually mean she is hooking up with them. (Then again there is a chance the guy can try and do more than just grinding)

Really I wouldn't be worrying about that and I'd just let her have her fun. Why because you're not coming from a scarcity mentality. Like you said a few other girls wanted to have sex with you so that means if you're gf left you, then you'd still have other women. Also at the end of the day she is coming home to you so it really doesn't matter.

 

[Rata Blanca]

I think she tested you and you failed.

For LTR (specially if you are young)
This is your mindset:
I'm not jealous. Explain her that you don't understand why people are so jealous, if a girl cheats on me, she wasn't really interested in me,
that's great! I don't have to waste more time with her.
Challenge her. If she is constantly talking about some guy hitting on her ask her: so why don't you hook up with him?
Talk about the good features about guys that are attracted to her (wow he is pretty hot, why dont you go out with him?)
She can do whatever she wants. She doesn't need my permision to go out.
In your situation you should encourage her to go out dancing and grinding.
From time to time spend whole with without calling her.
Give her the gift of missing you, dont visit her every week.
Remember if you are not jealous it's because you can actually walk away at any giving moment in the relationship.

Remember this has been personal experience what works on some girls might not work on others.

 

[wolf116]

Well it already happened and I think you overreacted.

Chicks love going into state and that's why a lot of them go to the club to get all pumpped up. The grinding is pumping there state and that's what's fun about it. That's why she thought of it as fun and just hanging with her friends to have fun. This doesn't actually mean she is hooking up with them. (Then again there is a chance the guy can try and do more than just grinding)

Really I wouldn't be worrying about that and I'd just let her have her fun. Why because you're not coming from a scarcity mentality. Like you said a few other girls wanted to have sex with you so that means if you're gf left you, then you'd still have other women. Also at the end of the day she is coming home to you so it really doesn't matter.

Sounds like a good way to get STD's.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Comic, don't listen to these dudes - take heed to my counsel or perish!!

 

[Skytzo_Marc]

A man shouldn't take disrespect from anyone. In an LTR, the key is to not get jealous over little things or needy... but at the same time, you can't take that to the extreme and let the girl walk all over you because you pretend to be indifferent. You give them an inch and they'll take you a mile. I will not put up with a chick who does **** to me that she doesn't want me to do to her.

And for other people, seriously, the "I don't care what you do" bull**** works really well in creating initial attraction but after a while, no girl wants to be with a guy that doesn't give a **** about what she does. Love and relationships are a game to these girls. You need to keep them playing... and nobody is going to keep playing a game if they make no progress (you don't give a **** about them after a few months), or they have nothing left to win (you give it all up too soon).

EDIT: To the original poster, I think you did the right thing. The fact that she's asking is a good sign in one way (she respects you enough to ask) but also bad (why the **** is she asking that, she should know). Play it carefully. I hope you're at the point where you're able to tell if she's lying or if she did something she wasn't supposed to.

 

[Alphamale1821]

My advice be unphased by it and let her know that you plan on hanging out with friends. Whether it be guys or girls she doesn't need to know. Never let a biitch get to you or exploit a weakness. Thats when you start to push a biitch away. Now i understand you are opposed to letting her go to the club, but it sounds like she's gonna go anyway. You could have responded with sure you can go have fun, then let her know that you'll be hanging out with "friends". You can let her know to your discretion whether it's guys or girls or whatever the fuuck you want. Your a man and your entitled to tell a chick whatever amount of information you want, and conveniently leave some out

 

[Alphamale1821]

Sounds like a good way to get STD's.

You can fuuck 1 ***** a get an std and fuuck 50 biitches and never get one. Gotta stay safe and hope for the best. What bearing this advice has on this thread matter i don't know. How about you keep this ****ty advice out of people's thread. Everyone knows that mutiple fuuckin of partners equals increased risk of STD, just like smoking is increased risk of cancer. We don't need some guy for the sake of posting saying this shiit as ti has nothing to do with helping the OP.

 

[comic_relief]

My advice be unphased by it and let her know that you plan on hanging out with friends. Whether it be guys or girls she doesn't need to know. Never let a biitch get to you or exploit a weakness. Thats when you start to push a biitch away. Now i understand you are opposed to letting her go to the club, but it sounds like she's gonna go anyway. You could have responded with sure you can go have fun, then let her know that you'll be hanging out with "friends". You can let her know to your discretion whether it's guys or girls or whatever the fuuck you want. Your a man and your entitled to tell a chick whatever amount of information you want, and conveniently leave some out

The conversation was actually maybe ten minutes long and I just gave you guys the cliff notes version.

I am not against her hanging out with friends, I just feel that it is disrespectful for saying that she wants to go grind on other guys. I have no bad feelings of her going and hanging out with ex-boyfriends or other guys. I can very easily walk away from her, but some things are unacceptable and disrespectful to me. Grinding aka "dry sex" on another guy is VERY disrespectful.

I would NEVER do anything disrespectful (if I know about it) to anybody that I am dating, so I expect the same amount of respect from her. I see nothing wrong with that, but I do think that I am being firm in my decision.

I gave her the rules that I think would be unacceptable and the consequences, now if I find out about it. The consequences shall be met out. Some may call me petty, but I choose to look at it another way. If she chooses to folllow through, she went through with full knowledge of what could happen if she is caught. She had her fair warning before she does anything.

On a side note:
Grinding is very acceptable in certain situations. The certain situations involve being single though, NOT in a relationship.

comic_relief

 

[comic_relief]

update:

I was in bed just relaxing with her trying to get her up. She brought this up.

"I've been thinking about what you said for the last couple of days and I agree with you. From now on if I want to go to the club, I'm going to be going with you to grind on you. Is that alright?"

I agreed.

I'm still going to be keeping my eyes open, but it sounds like we are getting back on track.

Suggestions or advice is still very appreciated.

BTW PRL, I am going to protect my heart on this one. She is actually fun to be around with or without the fooling around/sex. I'm going to be keeping my eyes open for any problems though.

comic_relief

 

[DJVladdy]

This girl at the club i just approached and she started going freaky on me grinding like crazy. I squeezed her hips and turned her around to face me she put her arms around my neck and started to grind front to front. Im not a small guy but wow she mustve had some strong legs haha. Then she turned her butt to me again, took my hand and moved it down to her pvssy... all that within AT MOST 10 minutes.

I thought afterwards... she couldve easily been some guys gf... I wouldnt want my gf doing the same to other dudes

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

You know what? I agree with your girlfriend. Grinding is a LOT of fun, especially with girls I don't know. So is kissing women I just met that night at the club. When I was 22 one of my favorites things was to hook up with a woman who "has a boyfriend" and was just "out with the girls" that night. It usually meant she'd leave me alone after I towled off Big Jim and the Twins and went home that night after knocking it out with her. Man, that wa great. No strings, hot sex and she'd just go away afterwards to tell her BF how "she was drunk, I was hot, one thing lead to another,...and,...."

Yes, I'm being sarcastic, but she's only doing what a woman her age is going to do, and you should be also - exploring her options. At 20 there is simply no way in hell you should be monogamous for any number of reasons.

I could easily be spinning more plates and probably am without hanging out or anything. I already had in the past week three girls ask if they could have sex with me. I turned it down because of the entire girlfriend thing.

And so now you've discarded valuable options in favor of a girl who will explore her own in spite of you or any pseudo-committment. Break yourself off and play the field COMIC. The more Plates you spin the more confidence you have.

Your conversation with her makes you seem like a doting wife, not a man with options. At this stage it really makes little difference what you'd have said, but your conversation should've gone like this:

Her: I'm gonna go clubing with the girls tonight.
You: Alright, have fun.

Her: So that's OK with you?

You: Of course. I've got things to do tonight anyway.

Her: Oh, well, like what things?

You: Oh, my grandmother's Ill and I thought I'd see her after I finished my resume up for a job I'm interested in. Then I was thinking about heading to bed early after I went to the gym since I've got another (interview, final exam etc.) tomorrow. (anything suitably responsible, but non-descript will do).

Her: Oh,..

You've already blown this situation by playing the insecure-posessive card that she completely expected you to, but in the future remember that when you're facing anything similar it's an automatic sh!t test. Your best defence is to allow her imagination to work for you. Always say less than is necessary and be ambiguous but well meaning with just enough hint that you may not be doing what you tell her you are. Understand, she's going to go regardless of what your reaction is, but it's be far better for her to go with a tinge of planted doubt than for her to go thinking what an insecure optionless chump she's saddled with. In either event you simply don't call her back - let her come to you. Consider yourself broken up now.

 

[comic_relief]

thanks Rollo,

once again wonderful words of wisdom. I do believe that i have blown this somewhat out of proportion and lost that battle.

I have not lost the war though. I believe that one conversation will not ruin it, but it did put somewhat of a dent into the relationship. We are hammering it out right now.

btw Rollo, I haven't been monogomous (until recently for almost a half year) and I got a lot of experience from a variety of different girls. It just isn't me at this point in my life.

Thanks for the reply (especially since you rarely come out of the MM forum ) and same to everyone else!

comic_relief

 

[kickureface]

i think you handled it pretty well, comic. and the results were good, right?
who else in here thinks we should have a ltr subforum here?