Girlfriend advice needed. Don't really know what to do.

[Brighty]

Essentially I've known this girl for around a month or so and we're already in a relationship, she's a great girl - good sense of humor, easy-going, and the sex is the best I've ever had. However, like I posted in my previous thread she does have sort of a past that I recently found out about, and today when I showed my buddies a picture of her with them being oblivious to me dating her, they told me "What... uh... you've done better man."

I think she's attractive, but according to my buddies she's like a 6 and my last girl was like a 9. But for some odd reason when I look at her, I don't think she's a 6 at all, I see her as an 8 or so. The point is, she is really great to me despite that, she cooks for me, serves me food in bed, treats me like a king, and she has a sexual appetite to match mine - we even made a little porno together. There was one night when I visited her that she straight up blew me and right after she made me barbecue wings in bed - she's like my freaking wife or something, but I'm not complaining.

She's a great girl, but I feel almost some of my friends look down on me for dating someone "below my standards", and since we only just met at the end of the school year, I don't know how bad her past is or how far it extends, so to my friends I guess I appear as dating this girl who not only is a slvt but is below my standards and that reflects negatively on me, like I'm getting played.

I'm not really sure what I should do in this situation, maybe I am a little self-conscious about this, but I am a firm believer that its important to maintain a healthy reputation in college without conforming to it too much, have any of you guys been in a similar situation like this? What do you guys think I should do and why are my friends acting like this about her looks?

 

[lorekeeper]

F*ck them.

It's your damn life. Live it for yourself.

 

[Zaraza]

i havnt posted in ages. But you need to hear this.

at 19 years of age, it doesnt matter what your friends think. Its your life! many of your friends wont be there in several years. They will get their own women ones that dont cook for them in bed.

If you like this girl, then enjoy your time with her. Stop thinking about marriage and just live in the moment. you are 19. Your friends dont know **** besides chasing *****.

heres what im saying.

If you have found a supporting woman who treats you like a king, and you feel comfortable and on top of the world with her... why does it matter what your friends think? Its all about how you feel about yourself in the current stage of your life.

now if you dont feel attracted or feel like you are waisting time, that is another story.

 

[Brighty]

Thank you Zaraza for the well informed post.... but we have a new development.

I just found out now that apparently she still hangs out with her ex every now and then, the one who treated her like an animal (literally would ignore her in public) when they were together and she spent the better part of the last two semesters before she met me being good friends with him trying to change him. I seriously don't understand why some girls are like this (well, I do, but I can't understand how a human being with any kind of self esteem could behave that way). I'm getting a bad vibe from this. I told her that I don't want her hanging out with him now that I'm dating her and she was more than happy to oblige because she "never would want to make me upset", but even still, what does that say about her and her character? What she was like before? How little self esteem does she have to keep going back to him even after they had broken up?

I'm not really too attached now, granted, I do like her a lot, but there are other girls out there and things haven't gotten too serious yet. I do like that she treats me nice, but she is reminding me a lot of my last girlfriend who was bipolar and who was emotionally draining (both had abusive ex-boyfriends that they kept going back to, both had questionable pasts, both were completely infatuated with me from the getgo) and that is very unnerving. I have a gut feeling that this is a bad sign of things to come, or am I wrong thinking this way?

 

[sodbuster]

start learning to trust your gut, IT is right more than your big head or [especially] your little one. See where it leads,but be aware of your gut.

 

[ajjones]

1. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
2. To hell with that other guy. If you treat her well but still be confident about everything you're doing in the relationship you'll do fine. You'll probably have to suck it up and let her hang out with him. The only thing you can really get away with telling a girl not to do in a relationship is not to puke on the floor after she's had 4 smirnoff ices.
3. If it doesn't work out, then **** her. Your ex would be getting jealous right about by then anyway.

 

[Captain]

Do your friends have hot girlfriends? Half the time it is jealousy. The other half the time, you're the delusional one.

 

[todays_news]

To maintain all the pleasantries... Dont change your behavior at all, and dont make a big deal of her hanging around with him, unless it truly makes you on edge. She shouldnt be doing that, but I guess its give and take...

To be honest, no good can ever come of a girl seeing an ex, so if it does bother you.. it may be best to cut her off. As you making a scene could make you look insecure, and weak.

I just found out now that apparently she still hangs out with her ex every now and then

And here we go... did she not tell you this from the beginning? Did she even tell you at all, or did somebody else?

 

[terran2k]

go watch the movie "shallow hal".

anyway, i think it's stupid to assign #'s to a girl, just like it'd be dumb for girls to assign a # to you. just bc some chic sees you as an 3, and not interested, would all women see you as a 3? some will see you as an 8, or whatever.

 

[Furyguy]

what does that say about her and her character? What she was like before? How little self esteem does she have to keep going back to him even after they had broken up?

To me that says she still wants him, or at least her idealized version of the changed "him," but since she can't have "him", she will take the next best thing that comes along and try to be happy with it.


That dude who mentioned Shallow Hal makes a good point.
Hal: Okay, who do you think is the most beautiful woman in the world?
Mauricio: Wonder Woman.
Hal: Okay... let's say everyone else in the world thought Wonder Woman was ugly.
Mauricio: It wouldn't matter. Because I know they'd be wrong.

That said, don't let yourself get played by some ***** who's still chasing her ex.

I do like that she treats me nice, but she is reminding me a lot of my last girlfriend who was bipolar and who was emotionally draining (both had abusive ex-boyfriends that they kept going back to, both had questionable pasts, both were completely infatuated with me from the getgo) and that is very unnerving. I have a gut feeling that this is a bad sign of things to come, or am I wrong thinking this way?

I think you are right. F*ck what your friends think and enjoy yourself for the time being, but be cautious with this one because it sounds dangerous.

 

[Brighty]

Well, she hasn't been hanging out with him since I've been in her life, and apparently they stopped talking a while and he texted her out of the blue the other day saying "I'm sorry for being such an ******* maybe you can forgive me", she was good friends with him in the past, but she hasn't talked to him in a while.

I told her that I didnt' want her hanging out with him anymore. I didn't make it a big deal, I just said "It should go without saying, but I don't want you hanging out with your ex while you're seeing me, especially since he's treated you like an animal in the past." and she said, "Okay, I don't want to upset you. I care about you deeper than I have cared for anyone else before. I don't want you thinking otherwise or anything less than the person you think I am. You mean too much to me, I won't see him anymore (I haven't seen him in like 3 months, much less talked to him)."

She keeps telling me how perfect I am, how much better I am at everything, how no one has fvcked her or made her orgasm as good as I have, and how good I make her feel. I don't think she's taking the "next best thing" available, or that she still has feelings for her ex, but it does make me uneasy.... its like how can I respect a girl when she has no respect for herself and would do that to herself? How can I respect a girl who would stay with a guy who treated her like **** and then spend the better half of the semester being friends with him and trying to change him? And then the chimes of "Uh.. dude... you've done way better than her" and "Brighty, I should tell you that I have kind of a past..." start coming up in my head together with this and I wonder if this girl is even worth it.

 

[todays_news]

then theres a simple solution to all of this... break up with her or maybe suggest going on a break for a few weeks.

 

[Brighty]

then theres a simple solution to all of this... break up with her or maybe suggest going on a break for a few weeks.

Yeah I think that's what I'm gonna do. It's nice to have her around though for the summer, guaranteed p*ssy as much as I want when she comes down to visit. I just don't think I can respect her enough for her to be my girlfriend.