"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Girl Won't **** Me Anymore

spinaroonie

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Met a 26 year old Indo-Trinidadian daycare worker from OKCupid (7 years in Toronto - long enough to be Westernized - but still has a Trini accent).

1st Date (11/15): Meet at Starbucks, bounce to quiet pub, and then back to my car. Suck on her titties in the backseat before dropping her off at home. Tried to go back to her place (I live with my folks) but she didn't want a one night stand.

2nd Date (11/18): She texts me to come over to her place. Bang. No BJ.

3rd Date (11/22): Pick her up. Drive to an improv comedy show. Back to her place. While in bed she says she "just wants to be friends". Told her "I have enough friends." Bang. No BJ.

(11/26): Text her that I want to see her tonight. She texts me back saying "I'm not really in the mood for company right now.... Are you free Thursday? We could hang out." I text back "Sounds good. We'll hang out Thursday". Two hours later she texts me "Hey. What u up to?" Chatted on the phone for about a half hour (I initiated). She wanted to see Hunger Games 2 with me and planned a date/time.

4th Date: (11/28): Meet at a mall and watch to watch Hunger Games 2 (she bought the tix, I bought concessions). Drop her off at home. Hug goodbye. Wouldn't allow me in her home.

While in the car by her house last night she says she still wants to see me, but only as friends (not even friends with benefits). Looking back, I know where I went wrong - going on a high investment dates, paying for everything, spending hours on the phone sweet-talking, cuddling after sex and showing too much affection (she told me she wasn't used to guys sticking around in bed after sex).

I realize she may now perceive me as a needy beta compared to the dudes that pumped and dumped her in the past. That alpha veneer she perceived in me earlier is probably gone. And I know this girl is a bit of a fruit loop - reads erotica and her bookshelf is littered with self-help novels.

I'm not overly invested as I'm wheeling other girls, and she's always the one initiating "Hey how's your day going?" texts. Still, I already got a few pumps in and I want to keep this on tap as a continuous source of *****.

Is there any way to salvage this? Or is this one as good as done?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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user name

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So keep it on tap.

You've already banged her and you have other options. What's to salvage?

If you're not overly invested, what's the problem?
 

betheman

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whats to salvage? you banged, she isnt that into you, play it cool and you may get another bang, thats it really, what do you want? a wife?
 

PrettyBoyAJ

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Let this woman know that you only want benefits. Nothing more, nothing less. No dates, No phone calls, just come to the crib in smash. Be bold and tell her what it is.

Me personally I don't get along with jump-offs for too long. After about a couple weeks they start to catch feelings and AJ aint having that. " **** em once or twice then I don't even need em".
 

namismybabe

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eh?

I have numerous family in Trinidad and Tobago, and her race and nationality are immaterial here. Whilst we're not as liberal as Canada socially, we're still people too!:up: ;) ;)

She's not into you. She simply wanted a quick ****, and is moving on. Hopefully she can come back to Trini, Indian ting is bess ting (any other Trinis on the forum would understand that lingo haha).
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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foreverAFC

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sounds like another guy is in the picture
 

nismo-4

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Your princess is in another castle. You're not her best option, another guy who's got more value than you came along. So go ghost on her and don't "just be friends." Unless you want to be hearing stories about the new guy that came along.

Case closed.
 

spinaroonie

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Thanks for the advice fellas.

I think this girl would've been content with me just coming over for sex. But then I acted too much like a boyfriend - taking her out, spending time on the phone with her, not leaving immediately after sex. It was probably too much too soon for a girl who's had guys **** her and leave. She's probably not used to guys taking her out, picking her up and dropping her off at home, spending money on dates etc. She perceived my "niceness" for "weakness". Subconsciously this repelled her. Maybe this game would work on traditional women, not Westernized women.

I'll go no contact for a while. I won't initiate any texts. I'll respond to her texts so I don't appear butthurt). But I'll keep the text exchanges short. No more phone calls. And no more high-investment dates.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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adam225

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NO you go no contact for ever. Never look back.
 

spinaroonie

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She doesn't want to ****. But I still want to ****. Trying to figure out the best way to salvage this.
 

adam225

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There isn't a way. You're wasting energy and time on her. MOVE ON.
 

Maximus Rex

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Are You "Really," Spinning Plates?

spinaroonie said:
I'm not overly invested as I'm wheeling other girls, and she's always the one initiating "Hey how's your day going?" texts. Still, I already got a few pumps in and I want to keep this on tap as a continuous source of *****.
If you're spinning plates, then why are you trippin' off of one chick that you've smashed on countless occasions.
 

HyperAnalyze

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nismo-4 said:
Your princess is in another castle. You're not her best option, another guy who's got more value than you came along. So go ghost on her and don't "just be friends." Unless you want to be hearing stories about the new guy that came along.

Case closed.

lmao I love judge nismo. :crackup:
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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