girl with many male friends

[Jeremymichael]

Hello everyone,

There is a girl who drinks in my local bar who I tend to get along with, we got talking one night at a music event. She seems nice to me and I sense her staring at at me at times, and I originally start to feel something for her. She is quite intelligent, a professional , but there are a couple of things that are starting to put me off her. Firstly I've started to notice that she has many male friends. When I see her out and about she is with a different guy (drinking). I understand though she is currently single. Secondly the other thing that has put me off, is that she appears very opinionated, also she is always commenting on how blokes look (which I find embarrassing).

One Friday night, one of the guys she goes drinking with was outside with her having a smoke, so was I. There is a small patio at the rear of the pub, where about 8 people can gather. I hear her saying thing like, "oh Brian your a sex magnet, no girl would refuse you"..etc.. but she isn't dating him and I think he's single, so what's the point in that?, and what was I meant to think of that?. There was also a small gaggle of girls there. I decided to leave because I don't like to get in to those type of conversations.

Overal I think I see alarm bells, but wondered what others think?. She was not born in the UK, I think she is Australian or SA?.

 

[afrojiggles]

she is teasing to see if your man enough to handle her shyt tests of you soo either you flirt with other girls in her presence or just wonder off when with her in a club and let her intetionally find you with lovely babes who enjoy your vibes and then you will act to prove her sluttyness to you..by being loose

 

[MotownMack]

My initial impression from what you posted:

Sounds like she is a little more outgoing and less concerned about the approval of others, where you seen to be a little more conservative in your ways.

That doesn't mean you necessarily can't hook up with her, just be aware that if she is a little wilder, has a lot of friends/stuff going on, and is more social, etc- that she may remain aloof and indifferent to the idea of dating you exclusively (which is what it sounds like you're after). Sounds like this girl is single by choice.

I myself am little put off by freakishly social people-i.e. people who have to be at bar or doing something ALL the time. I spend my share of time in bars, but I have buddies who need to be doing something social 4 nights a week. I've always found it interesting that there negative connotations are thrown around for people who don't desire or need this kind of social approval (at least not regularly), but there aren't the same types of adjectives for people who are obsessively social. You know, the types that seem to always need constant social contact or who derive worth from going out in large groups, and always have to have 5-10 people around. I've dated a few girls like this, and while I am all about fun, I admit I find it a little off putting myself, as it smacks of insecurity.

Sounds like you may have such a girl on your hands, or at the very least, someone who really gets value out of male attention. I would be leery about expecting much by way of a relationship (if that's what you're getting at) with a girl who is constantly at the bar and always with different men.

And I agree, the commenting on others looks is catty, and usually stems from some insecurity of their own.

 

[KontrollerX]

By you saying there is alarm bells surrounding this situation its clear that this is not what you want in a girl in order to have a genuine relationship with her.

So rule this one out for that.

Instead see if you have have some fun with her.

A short fling that starts red hot but then just fades away.

Anything more than that and you are courting your own destruction.

 

[sherineo]

Wow dude you've got an AW!

Run...it's an attention sucker AW....Run !!

 

[Warrior74]

Yah. attention *****. I've fycked a few. they need constant male validation. And the minute their man stops giving it to them they will cheat. I've dated this type and focked this type. And been the guy they cheated with and on. Your best bet...don't give her nothing but dyck and conversation. Don't buy her shyt, not a drink, nothing. any personal disrespect and just pull back. Never get mad, just don't care about anything but hitting that ass and spinning plates as you guys say.

 

[jophil28]

Yah. attention *****. I've fycked a few. they need constant male validation. And the minute their man stops giving it to them they will cheat.
.

Yep - you are in the presence of a real live, gold medal winning, 'attention wh0re ' ..Attention from men is her cocaine.
The "many male friends " is the give away sign. Totally unfit for any kind of relationship, so if that is what you want with a woman , scratch her.

Secondly , these kinds of wh0res scream blue bloody murder if you '**** em and chuck em' ...They are "entitled" to use men for attention by leading them on, but not the other way around apparently...

 

[The Bat]

Lol, you're describing a female DJ...if there is such a thing.

From what you've written, it sounds like you're starting to be attached to her. Otherwise, you wouldn't be sitting there asking yourself these questions:

I hear her saying thing like, "oh Brian your a sex magnet, no girl would refuse you"..etc.. but she isn't dating him and I think he's single, so what's the point in that?, and what was I meant to think of that?.

And yes, you're right in seeing the alarm bells. As KontrollerX suggested, just have fun with her. Don't compromise yourself in the meantime though.

 

[KontrollerX]

Good post The Bat.

Still I never like it when someone refers to one of these nutjobs as a female DJ as becoming a DJ takes a lot of hard work, self reflection and dedication.

Being a pathological type of AW such as a Histrionic or a Borderline well...they are born being what they are.

In other words they didn't have to work to acquire their skills at being good with people (at least surface wise they are good with people).

They are in all actuality kind of like the rich kid everyone despises.

Had everything handed to him on a silver platter and appreciates none of it because he does not know the value of working for it.

Of course not all rich kids are like this with not taking the time to learn the value of the things they have but well the bad example of such people that is commonly known in society is a good point I think for me to make about how an AW can be compared to a person that gets everything handed to them in life and doesn't appreciate it as opposed to a DJ who has to work, fight, and scrap with himself and others to become what he is ie a success.

 

[drmeathead]

In other words they didn't have to work to acquire their skills at being good with people (at least surface wise).

They are in all actuality kind of like the rich kid everyone despises.

Had everything handed to him on a silver platter and appreciates none of it because he does not know the value of working for it.

Of course not all rich kids are like this with not taking the time to learn the value of the things they have but well the bad example of such people that is commonly known in society is a good point I think for me to make about how an AW can be compared to a person that gets everything handed to them in life and doesn't appreciate it as opposed to a DJ who has to work, fight, and scrap with himself and others to become what he is ie a success.

yeah AWs ususally have a nice physical features that they are born with. a big AW red flag alert for me is..."....well i have a lot of guy friends...and i dont work out much..." meaning she doesnt appriciate her size 2 body with all the right curves but loves to flaunt it. it is basically a translation for me in that she will be a flabby ***** by age 28 or married and flabby.

i am not bitter here it is just my observation that women reach their "sexual peak" around 30 because they have to if they want male attention. they dont have 50 guys kissing thier ass. if they want a guy kissing thier ass they better start kissing his ****.

 

[jophil28]

Lol, you're describing a female DJ...if there is such a thing.

She is behaving more like a female PUA than a DJ.
A DJ (IMO) is a PUA with a conscience..
This women is on a self serving mission of ego stroking and validation and she will dangle, tease and appear to OFFER sex in order to get her needs met.

She does not seek sex per se, she seeks the feelings that come from experiencing men WANTING to have sex with her and she will manipulate guys into these situations without scruples or concerns for their feelings.

These women are the 'con artists' of the dating scene.
Avoid ..

 

[Jeremymichael]

what I can't understand is why she needs so many male friends, why be so matey with everyone? and not just discerning and have one special guy?.

I kept thinking when she said "he's so sexy, no girl could refuse him", how embarassed I would have felt had she addressed me in that manner, and him knowing that she had said this with absolutely no chance of them getting together as they are nothing more than friends. He must of felt like he was being addressed by his sister.

 

[sosilky]

Yah. attention *****. I've fycked a few. they need constant male validation. And the minute their man stops giving it to them they will cheat. I've dated this type and focked this type. And been the guy they cheated with and on. Your best bet...don't give her nothing but dyck and conversation. Don't buy her shyt, not a drink, nothing. any personal disrespect and just pull back. Never get mad, just don't care about anything but hitting that ass and spinning plates as you guys say.

I thought you werent suposed to give attention *****s validastion so they will chase you. i thought if you gave them validation they would get bored and seek attention from others

 

[Jeremymichael]

I wonder what all the blokes think of the situation?. I bet they are all secretly thinking like me, " I bet she fancies me really". I'll stick around as the playmate and it will all fit into place. A year on I bet nothing will have changed.

I went to the bar last night for quiz night and she was there, I heard her saying all sorts "I'll come and visit you Fred in my lunch break tomorrow to say hi" and to another "Peter you can come and stay at my place in S.A if you visit on holiday". Then she went off with another guy to play pool at 9pm

I have decided to give her a wide berth.

 

[MacAvoy]

I have decided to give her a wide berth.

I bet you she has a wide berth between her legs.