Girl with boyfriend, me with girlfriend

[Init2winit]

I have known this girl at my school for three years (undergraduate, 23 years old). We both go to school away from home, and significant others, etc. We have always talked a little, and I always found her attractive, but nothing serious. Until recently.

We started hanging out more at school, and through talking more I found out she has a boyfriend. I also have a girlfriend, which she knows. That aside, it seemed like we were hitting it off, so I asked her if she wanted to have drinks/dinner on a day we both didn't have class. She said yes, and we went out for dinner, and had great conversation for nearly 4 hours. Nothing physical, but the conversation didn't have much to do with either of our significant others or school, and was really flirty and personal.

The next day I sent her a text and said I had a great time, and that we should do it again. She said she also had a great time. We ended up going out the following week.

To make a long story short, I told her how I felt, and she completely denied any flirting, or having any reason to know I liked her. I find that incredibly hard to believe, but what can you do? She basically said she has a boyfriend, and therefore thought everything was clear. Now she still talks, and we still have plans to hang out, despite the awkwardness I thought would be there.

So my question is: where do I go from here? Do I keep pursuing this girl who I really like, or just drop it?

 

[MrNiceGuy23]

Dude, welcome to my life. I was in the exact same situation with a girl last year and continue to have some interactions today.

We both were in relationships, but we both flirted and stuff all the time. She actually told her roommates she was attracted to me etc, and we ended up hooking up once. When I confronted her about it she said her plans were never to leave her boyfriend blah blah blah and that it was wrong. I told her off went no contact for about 4 months over the summer until we were back at school.

We get back to school, I swallow the awkwardness out of same friend groups, and we become friends again, then close friends, then we hook up again multiple times. I continue to confront her about this but she keeps saying she can't leave her boyfriend because he's done nothing wrong.

To relate to your situation, this girl could just be a flirt. I know plenty of girls who just like to flirt but never pursue it any further with guys. If flirting is truly her only intentions with you then you can continue to flirt with her unless she is actually causing you problems emotionally (getting attached, jealous, etc). If that happens tell her she is a flirt and that you can't be around someone like that because it's wrong, go no contact after. Either your absence will bring her back to you, or you can just move on and forget about teases.

 

[donking]

dude. go after another girl. u puss.

 

[Sofomore]

Drop it entirely. You should never confess your feelings to a woman. Any hint of attraction she felt towards you dropped the instant you spilled your beans.

Next.

 

[MrNiceGuy23]

dude. go after another girl. u puss.

There is nothing wrong with going for a girl with a boyfriend. If the woman is even looking at other options, then her boyfriend is lacking BIG TIME in some important area (he's ugly, stupid, poor, small ****, etc).

If she were married I'd say back off, but the whole reason people get in and out of relationships is because they find new people who fit them better.

A confident man should have no problems with guys trying to go after his girl because he knows he is keeping his woman satisfied where she has NO REASON to seek anything from another man.

Enjoy being the guy who gets cheated on because he can't please his woman.

 

[MrNiceGuy23]

Drop it entirely. You should never confess your feelings to a woman. Any hint of attraction she felt towards you dropped the instant you spilled your beans.

Next.

Uhm this is false. Some women might be taken back if a guy confesses feeling so early on, but if it's been a long term friendship or whatever it's completely warranted and understandable. The woman should sense feelings of attraction between her and the guy or from the guy's end towards her. Telling a girl you want her and have feelings for her is how you end up dating someone, and married at some point. You don't just date random chicks who don't know how you feel.

Some guys on here are so stupid. Women are humans too, they aren't brainless. If you feel a physical attraction or flirty relationship with a woman, then I'd say there are pretty good chances that she noticed them at the least, and usually feels the same way. Not saying anything after this continues to go on just makes you seem like a scared little boy who pulls the hair of the girl in front of him in class but giggles whenever she asks him why.

 

[Fly By Night]

I'm sorry, but coming out and verbalizing how much you like a girl is a no-no. :nono:

Women are humans too, they aren't brainless. If you feel a physical attraction or flirty relationship with a woman, then I'd say there are pretty good chances that she noticed them at the least, and usually feels the same way.

She felt them when he was being forward and actually SHOWING that he was interested by being flirty during the date. OP had a shot until he made it seem like he wanted her to break up with her BF and date him. She was probably looking for a fling. By expressing his emotions, OP made it look like there were feelings attached.

My female friends say they would eff me, but would I then take them up on it and seriously discuss plans to eff them? No, that would just be pathetic and needy. That would convey that I had an impaired attraction mechanism.

Best to just use your actions and not discuss a business plan over it.

 

[Sofomore]

Uhm this is false. Some women might be taken back if a guy confesses feeling so early on, but if it's been a long term friendship or whatever it's completely warranted and understandable. The woman should sense feelings of attraction between her and the guy or from the guy's end towards her. Telling a girl you want her and have feelings for her is how you end up dating someone, and married at some point. You don't just date random chicks who don't know how you feel.

Some guys on here are so stupid. Women are humans too, they aren't brainless. If you feel a physical attraction or flirty relationship with a woman, then I'd say there are pretty good chances that she noticed them at the least, and usually feels the same way. Not saying anything after this continues to go on just makes you seem like a scared little boy who pulls the hair of the girl in front of him in class but giggles whenever she asks him why.

Ha you are wrong. OP fvcked up because he didn't let the sexual tension build until something had to be done or said. He literally let out all the gas when he blabbed about his "feelings" for her.

"Women are humans too"...what are you? The white knight of the century?

Get off your horse and realize that women communicate through subtle tones and body language. If you want to get laid (for once), you can't just come right out and tell them how you feel. There's no fun in that.

"Telling a girl you want her and have feelings for her is how you end up dating someone, and married at some point. You don't just date random chicks who don't know how you feel."

Clearly you have no experience at all, and are probably 17 years old.

 

[marmel75]

I have known this girl at my school for three years (undergraduate, 23 years old). We both go to school away from home, and significant others, etc. We have always talked a little, and I always found her attractive, but nothing serious. Until recently.

We started hanging out more at school, and through talking more I found out she has a boyfriend. I also have a girlfriend, which she knows. That aside, it seemed like we were hitting it off, so I asked her if she wanted to have drinks/dinner on a day we both didn't have class. She said yes, and we went out for dinner, and had great conversation for nearly 4 hours. Nothing physical, but the conversation didn't have much to do with either of our significant others or school, and was really flirty and personal.

The next day I sent her a text and said I had a great time, and that we should do it again. She said she also had a great time. We ended up going out the following week.

To make a long story short, I told her how I felt, and she completely denied any flirting, or having any reason to know I liked her. I find that incredibly hard to believe, but what can you do? She basically said she has a boyfriend, and therefore thought everything was clear. Now she still talks, and we still have plans to hang out, despite the awkwardness I thought would be there.

So my question is: where do I go from here? Do I keep pursuing this girl who I really like, or just drop it?

There is nowhere to go from here. You did the chump thing and told her how you felt...that is what women do, not what men do. Don't tell her how you feel, show her how you feel(ie, kino, makeout, escalation, fvcking). Its pretty hard to recover from that one bro, I'd probably drop it for a while...

 

[MrNiceGuy23]

You show her with your actions, not words.

Men = Action
Women = Words

She will tell you when she is ready to. If you tell her, then she will see you as another woman.

And men and women have been getting married a long time without the man "confessing" his love like it's some sort of diary.

I never said confess your love like a diary, but people tell others how the feel all the time. I've never had a problem getting laid with it. If you aren't overly emotional or pushy and clingy then you shouldn't have a problem either.

 

[vatoloco]

Problem is that, for you, these were dates with the prospect of fucking her. To her, they were just innocent outings with a FRIEND to pass the time.

Plus you're both attached to others...

Next time, kiss/fuck-close and don't play "friends".

You'll get your answer right away.