Girl with boyfriend flirts but doesn't know who to pick

[Glassguy]

After 2 weeks and you "fell for her hard"????

Texting her everyday with getting nothing in return?

Come on man. Ditch that scarcity mindset and learn to have abundance.

 

[MoMoses]

After 2 weeks and you "fell for her hard"????

Texting her everyday with getting nothing in return?

Come on man. Ditch that scarcity mindset and learn to have abundance.

Never claimed it was only 2 weeks. More like 8-9 weeks

But you are right with the texting and getting nothing in return part. I'm a fool for doing that.

Don't have a scarcity mindset. I'm seeing 2 girls at this moment and yes, that helps in getting my act straight. The thing is.. from time to time you meet a woman that really gets to you. At that point, it doesn't matter if you're seeing 3 girls, 5 girls of none at all.

Funny. Your advice is exactly the kind of advice I would normally give somebody

 

[Glassguy]

met this girl a couple of weeks ago

You said a couple of weeks ago and that you fell for her hard.

That's why I said what I did. Either way, you are way too invested.

 

[Serenity]

I mean, by clinging on to her I would have positioned myself as being needy and desperate? Right?

That's the least of your worries.

She was:

• Very willing to cheat, that would have come back to bite you in the @ss some day.
• Into guys a lot older than herself, textbook daddy issues.
• Thinking a trip to France can solve relationship issues, it sure won't, only communication can do that.
• Trying to make you jealous (pics with BF).
• Probably doing more sh!t that would make me go to DEFCON 1.

What is there to doubt? If rationality is in conflict with emotions you should ALWAYS side with rationality.

 

[dude99]

I have a question for all of you experienced suaves. I got myself in a bit of a situation I'd never thought I'd end up in.

I met this girl a couple of weeks ago and we hit it off right from the start. She was clearly very much attracted to me, but because she has a boyfriend and because she is 18 years younger than me I decided not to make a move and turned my attention to other women instead. However, we stayed in touch. She added me on Facebook, Instagram and she texted me daily. Good thing I didn't make a move too... turned out I know her boyfriend. He's about my age and works for the same company as I do. What are the odds? Sidenote: I never liked the guy. He tried to stop my promotion a couple of years ago and failed, so no, I don't feel guilty about his girlfriend hitting on me.

Anyhow, she kept flirting with me as if there was no tomorrow. Shamelessly I might even add. I fell for her.. hard. I mean, who wouldn't? A pretty 21 year old who aggressively pursues you? Man, you gotta be strong or gay not to fall for her.

She made it clear to me that she and her bf weren't exactly on the same page anymore so I decided to take her on a date. It was nearly perfect. We had a lot of fun and she was clearly feeling it. After just 30 minutes she started preening me (there was a bit of dust on my shirt), after an hour she started tapping my hand and arm during the conversation and by the end of the evening she was almost sitting in my lap stroking my leg and knee whenever she was laughing. And the conversation topics.. oh man.. she told me about her first time, what she likes in bed and stuff like that. And she made it very clear her relationship wasn't a happy one.

I've been on a lot of dates in my life. This is textbook material on how to know when a girl is ready to be kissed. However, seeing she was still in a relationship with that guy I know and because the bars close very early during these frickin corona times I decided not to make my move just yet.

The day after she texted me how awesome she thought our date was and that she was thinking about me all day. I decided to wait a few days before asking her out again, but she clearly couldn't wait. Only 2 days after our date she already asked me when she could see me again. She was going on a little holiday for a couple of days, but would like to meet up with me after that. We agreed on a date and I knew I was going to make my move at that point.

However, then something strange happened..

She texted me again that she was thinking about me at 5 am (!!), the day she went on her little holiday and by the end of that day, out of the blue, she posted a lot of pictures of her and her boyfriend kissing, holding hands including comments like "I love you so much"..

I mean what the??

Apparentely mister d**khead took her on a roadtrip through France for a few days, in an attempt to patch things up between him and her, and that most certainly worked. She went from ready to dump his ass and hooking up with me to being a devoted girlfriend in a matter of hours.

Now, I know young(er) girls tend to change their minds more quickly than older women and I also know that she made some emotional decisions here. Women being women. I get that. It still sucks though.

Naturally, I stopped pursuing her at this point (well, I only did 20% of the pursuing to begin with). I just walked away. She acted untrustworthy (to me and him) and I don't need that. She texted me again after her trip to France and I tried my best not to let her know she got to me, but let's be honest here... she god damn knows very well she hit me very hard with this. I didn't respond to her latest text and we haven't talked for 10 days now. Our date never happened. She texted me, informing she couldn't make it on saturday as agreed, but she wanted to meet me on wednesday or tuesday. I just told her I already had plans on those days and that was that.

What I want to know from you guys.. was this the right decision to make? I mean, by clinging on to her I would have positioned myself as being needy and desperate? Right? Now I just walked away and left her behind, wondering about where I am and who I am with. Mind you, we used to be in touch daily for weeks. I know I should just walk away, but she's running through my mind all day. The little blonde got under my skin. It's been a while since a woman managed to get me to this point.

Any thoughts?

Thoughts? Get off the hamster wheel.

She sounds like a typical attention whoore that got her hooks in you and fast.

Well this right here is why we preach over and over to pay attention to a girls actions.

You paid way too much attention to all her blah blah blah, and she got you on the hook when you should have just sat back and done nothing and if there was any chance of something for real then she would have chased.

What did her blah blah blah say?

her and her bf weren't on the same page. She is tired of them and no future. She is thinking about you wants your attention blah blah blah.

What did her actions say?

They said she was having the time of her life in paris and she was in love, while banging him all across La Belle Pays.

Let me point something out to you. Mr D!ckhead may be someone you don't like and his piss poor quality girlfriend is his problem. She is obviously not faithful and even if you do wind up with her how will you feel when you and her aren't on the same page but you don't know it. Think about it.

I know you don't like him, but Don't make winning a bad quality AW about getting one over on him. Your prize will be anything but a prize..
Be thankful she isn't humiliating you while you drag her across France. You may be just one of many.

Get off the hamster wheel. Go date other women.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

this is why the boilerplate advice here is so naive. dating around is not a total solution to scarcity.

Dating around can b e a serious life drainer and attention stealer.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Thoughts? Get off the hamster wheel.

She sounds like a typical attention whoore that got her hooks in you and fast.

Well this right here is why we preach over and over to pay attention to a girls actions.

You paid way too much attention to all her blah blah blah, and she got you on the hook when you should have just sat back and done nothing and if there was any chance of something for real then she would have chased.

What did her blah blah blah say?

her and her bf weren't on the same page. She is tired of them and no future. She is thinking about you wants your attention blah blah blah.

What did her actions say?

They said she was having the time of her life in paris and she was in love, while banging him all across La Belle Pays.

Let me point something out to you. Mr D!ckhead may be someone you don't like and his piss poor quality girlfriend is his problem. She is obviously not faithful and even if you do wind up with her how will you feel when you and her aren't on the same page but you don't know it. Think about it.

I know you don't like him, but Don't make winning a bad quality AW about getting one over on him. Your prize will be anything but a prize..
Be thankful she isn't humiliating you while you drag her across France. You may be just one of many.

Get off the hamster wheel. Go date other women.

Exactly. So "d1ckhead" is a bad guy because instinctually he wanted to take his babe on a nice trip just as you were getting closer to her? She was the scumbag and azzhole in the situation for having the door open.

 

[MoMoses]

You said a couple of weeks ago and that you fell for her hard.

That's why I said what I did. Either way, you are way too invested.

Ow I see. English isn't my native language. I ment to say a few weeks ago.. didn't know couple literally ment two. Anyway, doesn't change the setting. Two weeks, 7 weeks, 2 months.. too invested. I acted like a simp.

Get off the hamster wheel. Go date other women.

Check!

Thanks for the advice guys. Really helpful. In a way you guys are confirming what I was already thinking/feeling. Somebody had to put my head down the toilet in order for me to snap out of this beta mindset.

Thanks again. Much appreciated

You paid way too much attention to all her blah blah blah, and she got you on the hook when you should have just sat back and done nothing and if there was any chance of something for real then she would have chased.

This comment should win an award or something. I'm thinking clear again and I see this too. What the hell was I thinking?

 

[powersize]

Ow I see. English isn't my native language. I ment to say a few weeks ago.. didn't know couple literally ment two. Anyway, doesn't change the setting. Two weeks, 7 weeks, 2 months.. too invested. I acted like a simp.



Check!

Thanks for the advice guys. Really helpful. In a way you guys are confirming what I was already thinking/feeling. Somebody had to put my head down the toilet in order for me to snap out of this beta mindset.

Thanks again. Much appreciated



This comment should win an award or something. I'm thinking clear again and I see this too. What the hell was I thinking?

Man, you are in your best years now and can literally get and bang any girl you want. Don't play those 20 yo stupid games, social media is their world.

 

[dude99]

Update: Little missy is trying to get back in. To be being honest.. I'm enjoying watching her being all crafty in all of this.

Friday: a mutual friend said she asked him to say hi to me. Odd. She could just call or text me herself. Ignore.

Saturday: I went to a restaurant with a few friends and one of them tagged us (myself included) on Facebook. All of a sudden that friend received a phone call from her, asking her if she knows a good place to have her nails done. When she hung up that friend looked at us and said.. "This is odd. She has never called me before. I don't even know her that well" Ignore.

She knew I was there. Crafty way to keep herself on the radar. I tell you.. women. They are far better at this than us.

Sunday: She responded to that Facebook post. Asking my friend if the restaurant was any good. I'm tagged in that one, so yeah, she knows I'd get a notification. Ignore and block her on FB.

I could feel her building up to contacting me again. I predicted I'd be hearing from her within the week

Monday: Nope. Not a week. She texted me. She send me a whatsapp message. A little inside joke we had. A bird shyt on my head a couple of weeks ago and she send me a video of a reporter who got shyt on during a live report. Ignore delete and block on whatsapp.

She's testing how I would react.

Whatsapp has this wonderful feature where people can see if you read their message or not. I read her message and didn't reply for 12 hours. This had her crawling up the walls hehe

I answered her message because I don't wanna come across as being childish or worse.. emotionally impacted, but I did not reply her follow up question (which I received seconds after she got my reply). Stop replying. Who cares what she thinks. Ignore and block.

I know you guys have zero connection to all of this, but I wanted to share this update nevertheless.

Women always seem to operate in these indirect ways. Especially when you offer a challenge.

See comments in bold.


Ignore. Block. Remove her from all points of contact. Go focus on other women.