girl with a kid - worth it?

[md3sign]

I've never been in QUITE this situation. This girl wants to hang out and she's SMOKIN hot, but has a kid. Now, given the amount of things going on in my life I can't take on the responsibility of a child (nor do I want to) and I'm not looking for a relationship.

I've been on a couple dates in the past with another girl who had a kid and they're a LOT more willing to please, but their intentions are pretty obvious.

So the good person in me thinks that if I do agree to get together, I should let her know somehow up front that I'm not going to be taking responsibility for her child.

I'm left with 2 questions:

1) Is it even worth it to pursue this given the extra baggage? We all gotta get laid some. The reason I didn't go further with the previous girl was because she wasn't as hot as I first though. Hard to explain.

2) If it is worth it, what's the best way to "break it in" and let her know. I just don't feel right leading someone on.

Anyone with experience chime in any time ...

 

[d9930380]

I wouldn't look after another man's kid so this relationship can't last long so it just comes down to the fact if you can enter something you know you will have to end and probably either hurt her (more likely just piss her off).

I don't know the answer of that for you but it says alot about your character.

 

[md3sign]

Soooo yea .. I could use some advice in the very near future. I need to accept or reject fairly soon.

To re-iterate my point, I would not be taking care of anyone's kid and I would let her know this up front, if I decide to pursue this.

 

[Maximus Rex]

To answer your question, HELL NO!!!! and here's 13 reasons why, http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=97081

Only pursue this if it's guaranteed, for sure, effortless a$$

 

[THE_ADDMAN]

Its a personal choice, man. go for it if u want, but always keep in the back of your head that if she likes you, she might try to trap you.

Do your best not to develop any deep rapport with the kid.

 

[Mr_knowit_all]

I really don't understand this single mother paranoia that's displayed so ubiquitously on this forum.

If you're not the biological father, and you don't adopt the child, you're not going to have any obligation to take care of or provide for the child. BUT...if you truly love the woman, and it happens to be a great kid, why punish them for it?

Secondly, believe it or not, sometimes women with children are a bit more mature and responsible. If they're isn't an emotional attachment to the father, sometimes these women can make better mates.

It's up to you what you do, but don't let all the single mommy negativity on this board be the deciding factor.

 

[SamePendo]

I really don't understand this single mother paranoia that's displayed so ubiquitously on this forum.

If you're not the biological father, and you don't adopt the child, you're not going to have any obligation to take care of or provide for the child. BUT...if you truly love the woman, and it happens to be a great kid, why punish them for it?

Secondly, believe it or not, sometimes women with children are a bit more mature and responsible. If they're isn't an emotional attachment to the father, sometimes these women can make better mates.

It's up to you what you do, but don't let all the single mommy negativity on this board be the deciding factor.

:crackup:

 

[Mr_knowit_all]

Gay guys always find that stuff funny:moon:

 

[THE_ADDMAN]

Gay guys always find that stuff funny:moon:

dude... pull ur pants back up :crackup:

 

[Maximus Rex]

Secondly, believe it or not, sometimes women with children are a bit more mature and responsible. If they're isn't an emotional attachment to the father, sometimes these women can make better mates.

This is contradiction in terms. If she was responsible, she wouldn't of gotten pregnant.

 

[Mr_knowit_all]

This is contradiction in terms. If she was responsible, she wouldn't of gotten pregnant.

Not necessarily. Some single mothers were married and had the child in wedlock. That's not irresponsible.

 

[PRMoon]

Not necessarily. Some single mothers were married and had the child in wedlock. That's not irresponsible.

Some who get pregnant outside of wedlock aren't irresponsible either. Accidents happen, condoms come off if the guy doesn't know what he's doing or takes them off in the heat of the moment. Haven't you seen those dudes with like 8 children on Maruy Povich before? Getting pregnant isn't ALWAYS the girls fault.

 

[( . )( . )]

This is contradiction in terms. If she was responsible, she wouldn't of gotten pregnant.

Hmmm I usually agree with you Rex but I'm not with you on that.

You gotta remember marriage and children is where chicks get in their minds the ultimate social validation, hooking a provider "for life" probably more so than children thanks to the mass media etc etc now, but children are definately up there.

I dont even think "responsibility" or "irresponsibility" has a say in what dictates her actions, thats more of a logical thought for guys.

For the most part I'm with you in that single mummies are crappier than not, simply because some other bozo's sprog will always be in the way no escaping that, and the "learn to love" happy clappy sh!t spewed by society is really bollocks, a fantasy to round-up more providers for the ever increasing single mums.

Which brings us to the cold hard truth, single mums are on the ever increase nowadays, the numbers are really mindblowing. Any Western medium to lower income suburb is proof of this.

Thats ALOT of snatch.

I personally wouldnt limit myself just because a b!tch was silly enough to swallow the false society promise that she can "have it all without consequences". I say capitalise on it, why not tear that cvnt up? Hell give her another kid and fvck off, no doubt before long some brainwashed bozo will be along to raise it. Ok maybe thats taking it too far (or is it?) but you get what I'm saying.

To me it just seems to be a minor issue compared to what could REALLY fvck a guy up. Her and her child/ren can only do as much damage as YOU let them.

 

[penkitten]

everyone has baggage. yes, everyone.

 

[belividere]

How old are you and how old is she?

You dont even want a lasting relatsionship, let alone one with a kid at this point in your life, or with this woman. My suggestion is to just tell her that you aren't looking for a serious relationship up front. Dont even bring the kid into it since that isn't the issue and will surely just destroy all possibilities. I know a handful of single moms who just want to date and not find a dad. They had kids young, got ditched, and are now just bored sitting around playing working mom all day. Maybe if you just be honest about your intentions of not wanting a relationship you may be able to enjoy a couple of nights on the town with no commitment.

Good luck

 

[Labourer]

I've done the kid thing before, alot of my mates have, seldom works out, but I have always vowed never to do it again, to much hassle, but thats just me.

end of the day, it's your choice, just don't get to involved to soon, basically I would say if u do, then your become a glorified babysitter as I was.

make the right choice man! lol

 

[Chosen1]

Tom Leykis says don't. I say screw Tom Leykis. Ain't nothing wrong with a girl with a kid. These guys on here say oh it's terrible and never again. I say most relationships fail she is not asking you to take care of the kid so chill. Now if she starts hitting you up for money run. I personally love kids so I'm biased but if the kid is really young think about how annoying it will be when you try to do something and the kid blocks pros and cons.

 

[Freddy1]

The kid thing is okay because she isnt going to pressure you into having kids anytime soon.

 

[md3sign]

Yea boiiii now this thread is taking off!

She's 22, I'll be 23 on Sunday. Her kid is 10 months old. I've been in enough relationships the past few years to realize I don't want one for a while to come, so I will definitely bring it up front before we even get together. I have to do it in an email, so I was thinking something along the lines of:

(she asked me when I want to get together already)

"I should have time next weekend. I'd love to hang out with you, but I'm not looking for a relationship and I wanted to bring that up front now. If you're ok with that, we'll set something up."

Sound good?

Quick!

 

[PRMoon]

why not wait till after the date or somewhere along the way to bring something like that up. It's easy enough to work it into conversation and more appropriate spot then to jump the gun and say it immedeately. See if you're compatable with her in the first place when you meet with her and after you've established some repore, break into the relationship convo and talk it over then.