girl with a boyfriend...need HELP

[geneticperfection]

Alright so heres the deal. Met this girl a few days back, and last night, I was flirting with her like mad, let her know I'd be hitting up a party and told her she should be there. She was.
We got to drinking....and now the problem comes up. I *know* she has a boyfriend, and I live by some antiquated bull**** notion where you cant **** another guy over. So I refused to take the action beyond kissing on the face (not including lips) or neck. She even asked me to go somewhere private with her. We went over to my room, kidding around, kept the same damend rules, then went to her place, same rules, and even though she said it was all so wrong, she asked me to stay watch a movie etc etc.
And she wanted to do stuff. I stopped her though. Sure I was the "better man", but **** that, I think I just went AFC on her...
She told me to email her in a few days to prod her to make a decision. What the hell do I do guys?
Email her soon (3-4 days), email late (7-10days - keep in mind the school year ends in a month), leave it,what?
Thanks guys
I wouldnt care much except she's the first girl who i've actually given a **** about in over a year now...been laid since then, but havent really liked someone...

 

[Tails]

geezus, not again. LEAVE THE TAKEN GIRLS ALONE! they're trouble! if you want a very angry boyfriend after you, go ahead. but personally, i think it's all too much effort. single girls are much more safer to hook up with.

if she's really worth the trouble, tell her to sort out her boyfriend. obviously she's attracted to you more than her boyfriend. she's having thoughts of leaving him for you. so get her to sort out her relationship first. if you really DO like her and she really IS worth this trouble. tell her you like her alot and enjoy her company, but you will not commit to anything until she has sorted out her boyfriend.

 

[Chaos-Knight]

Damn you Tails!

I was about to post the same thing

anyway same thing:

tell her to ditch her boyfriend if she wants
to go further.

 

[Tails]

haha sorry pal. i'll TRY let you get the next one

 

[Austin Allegro]

TAKE CONTROL OF THE SITUATION.

She is dangerously close to messing you around by coming out with crap like 'email her to prod her to a decision'.

SHE is the one with a boyfriend and SHE needs to decide if she wants him or not before she drags you in.

It is not antiquated BS to not mess with another man's woman, it is called common decency.

It is a sad fact that a. women try to get another man before dumping their current one so that they are never single and b. how a woman meets you is generally how she dumps you, so don't be surprised if you DO hook up that the pattern is repeated down the line.

She sounds like bad news but if you do go in, remember: Confidence, Control, Challenge.

 

[CLOONEY]

Email her to prod her to make a decision?

Email her, tell her to make her decision, and let you know when shes done!! Thats all u need to say. Dont reply to her again until she makes the decision. Otherwise this whole mess will/could drag on and on and on.

 

[Tails]

Originally posted by CLOONEY
Email her to prod her to make a decision?

Email her, tell her to make her decision, and let you know when shes done!! Thats all u need to say. Dont reply to her again until she makes the decision. Otherwise this whole mess will/could drag on and on and on.

exactly!

 

[backbreaker]

Talis, I really do enjoy reading your post, but I have to disagree with you on this one.

Think about it, what do you want in a woman. smart, pretty, funny, loyal, etc.

Don't you think that's what every man in the freaking world wants in a woman?

So isn't it safe to assume that because there are so few of these in the world, that most if not all are always taken?


You would be either very lonely or very unsatisfied if you never talked to a girl with a BF. For crying out loud it's not marriage.

woman don't think like men. Woman will date a man just until a better man comes along. Woman are usually NEVER single for more than 1 week. It just all depends if she is a real relationship or if she has a reserve holding a real man a spot until he comes.



I will not however, have sex with a girl who is in a LTR. I will talk to her, even spend time with her. No sex.


But you would have being doing her BF a favor by having sex with her. She is a cheat. Make him realize that, and send him a card saying he doesn't have to worry aobut thanking you.

But don't date her, god no, do not ever date a girl who cheated on her man to be with you.

 

[DJ_Dork]

too much trouble, once i know a girl has a dude on a chain - i just look the other way.

 

[geneticperfection]

I'd be so inclined to agree with you guys. Except this girl is INCREDIBLY hot (one of the hottest I've ever met - no bull****), really sweet and funny.
But thanks for reminding me that she is likely to cheat on me too if anything happens...she should definitely not be a LTR consideration.
Nonetheless, she has expressed dissatisfaction with her boyfriend, and I have no doubt in my mind that she will dump him within the next 6 months. However since college is only on for another month, I'd rather not wait till the next academic year...(I know it sounds dead wrong, but she's obviously not going to stay with this guy anyway if she was actively pursuing me for a few days)
What bothers me is that I think I handed over control to her last night, and sealed that when I agreed to email her. Currently, I was thinking of waiting till thursday to call her (not email as she requested) and tell her to get together sometime to chill and discuss the issue..if she's already made up her mind and its a no, "hey **** happens, and hey thats too bad coz I figure we could have been fun together. Else, see you for a movie at one of our rooms..." Any better suggestions? I dont want to come off as wanting her too bad, but dont want to be so nonchalant that she thinks its not worth it to give up her troubled relationship....or would the previously suggested messages in the vein of "Make your decision, get back to me. Later" be ideal for this. I'll probably post my intended message tuesday night or wednesday to get some input anyway...

 

[Crank_It_Up]

ask her innocently to join you for a bite to eat, or some frivolous thing... get her alone and bone the dogshlt out of her... worry about the rest of the crap later... that way no matter what follows you will have bagged one of the "hottest girls you have ever seen"

or you could think about what might have been for the rest of your life. You could wait till next year when she returns and hope that she doesn't have a new boyfriend, or isn't engaged, or even married. You snooze, you lose.