"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Girl wants to keep things casual?

Brighty

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Followup on: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=158016

Turns out the double date went a lot better than expected. Things were awkward at first but I took control of the situation and ended up telling a story that had everyone else rolling, which definitely loosened my afc friend and his girl up. I'm glad for them.

Now, the girl I went with had been feeling me all night. She would stare me down and have prolonged eyecontact with me... in the list of IOIs she probably gave me about 90% of them (hair twirling, etc). When we were eating dinner, she kept on bumping her leg against mine with a smile on her face. She laughed at my bad jokes and we snuck away from my afc friend and his girl to try talk about how the date's going for them (which of course made them think we were hooking up or something). We ended up watching a movie back at my afc friend's house - he and his girl were on opposite chairs in the room and me and my girl were together on the couch. She tried subtly scooting herself over so we'd be touching as we watched the movie. Half an hour later I decided to end the date because all we were doing was watching a movie and I was here for my afc friend's success (and he was currently sitting in a chair by himself), so we got out of there. Good date all in all.


I ended up talking to her later than night and we first talked about my afc friend and his girl and if there would be a second date between them.

Her: I'm sure she (afc friend's girl) would like to do something again.
Me: Good! But now the bigger question is if you'd like to do something again... maybe this time just the two of us?
Her: Yeah I would if you would.... But I just got out of a really long relationship and I would need to keep it pretty casual.
Me: Yeah, I understand where you're coming from. But yeah, I'd by lying if I said that I wouldn't want to take you out again.
Her: Thanks. We can talk about it later.
Me: Yeah, I'm about to pass out, good luck tomorrow.
Her: Thanks I'm going to need it. good night. sleep tight.



The thing is is that she goes to my school and she legitly just got out of a relationship with her boyfriend, but I don't know how long ago. I talked about this with my friend and I just showed him the phone conversation without telling him anything about the date and he thought she was politely putting me off. Putting myself in his position, I can see how he'd come to the conclusion based on the texts, but he had no idea of the way she was acting to me at the date. So now that you guys have a sense of how the date went between me and her, what do you think? Hell... what does "keep it casual" even mean in this situation?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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ZhaoYun

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with most girls (especially if you're in college) it's best to just let things flow. If she's saying to keep things casual that means to just hang out and not try to get involved into anything serious. Of course that doesn't mean sex is out of the question but you have to get her into that position first by being cool and getting to know her a little bit.
 

sodbuster

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Why listen to anything that comes out of a womans mouth? She is either interested in you or is a world class tease. play it cool, maybe do another double date and isolate her[isolate and escalate], so she can say "it just happened"
 

Brighty

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sodbuster said:
Why listen to anything that comes out of a womans mouth? She is either interested in you or is a world class tease. play it cool, maybe do another double date and isolate her[isolate and escalate], so she can say "it just happened"

Yeah I suppose you're right.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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