Girl wants to bang right away - Should I be happy or worried?

Jaylan

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StevieD said:
Jaylan you are right...

Here is the thing though.... She is going to be hurt either way. She doesn't want her illness to make her not "normal" Maybe having sex with her though fleeting might at least give her temporary joy...

You know this is not true. And you know in your gut the sex is about you. Just be honest with her. Say, "I dont want to hurt you, and but im just trying to have fun right now and I wouldnt want you to get hurt" I usually tell girls this when I know they see me as relationship material. That way they cant say I lead them on, and they know I just want to date, but nothing serious.

I guess what I need to figure out is what is my approach?

Just ignore her.. and let her flake out (maybe happening already)

I wouldnt ignore her. Id stay friendly and try to be supportive but from a distance. If she starts to initiate less and ends up flaking out, so be it.

Or

Tell her I am not looking for an LTR, I am a player. If we do it, we do it...

Dont say "if we do it, we do it" Because it comes off wrong and doesnt convey to her that you care about her getting hurt over this. Use what i said before.


This my dilemma

In bold
 

Slickster

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scrouds said:
The white knight force is strong with this one too.

Yes my aunt you douchebag. And I care about her because she's my aunt. I don't give 2 shiits about some random chick off the street, and neither should stevieD.
I'm no saint scrouds.

I do come here to help people though. What about you? You sound very selfish. Hopefully others will take note of your crappy attitude and heed your advice accordingly.

Interesting that you care more about some random dude getting his d!ck wet than a random chick with a horrible disease. Speaks volumes about who you are and what value you have to offer the world.

How would you feel about some random dude mindfvcking your aunt when she was down and reaching out for someone?

This isn't some random chick off the street. She is someone's daughter, sister, mother, etc. She deserves just as much respect as your poor aunt.

Peace
 

scrouds

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I'm tough love. I don't offer the world anything anymore. I've given up on those trite notions that somehow I can change the world. I offer advice and commentary to the people that are here, the ones asking. I tell them above all else, work in your own best interest.

So yes, unequivocally, I care more about some random dude on this board, in this community then all the dead and dying random chicks.

People don't deserve respect. They have to earn it. People don't deserve your sympathies either, they need to earn that as well.
 

Slickster

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azanon said:
This forum is, admittedly, not for everyone. You'd probably be happier at Loveshack.
Never heard of it. Sounds like you have some experience though.

azanon said:
I couldn't help but notice all those green squares though. It's a bit late for you to be discovering what we're about here, isn't it?

Don't get me wrong. There is a time and place to care for our fellow man (man, meaning man and woman). The "place" is definitely not here though.
The green squares do not mean much to me really. I do really enjoy having to empty my inbox because it is chock full of messages from my fellow DJs each thanking me for giving them solid advice. I've been doing this for many many years and I've watched this forum evolve from something quite different into what it is today.

I've had countless debates with guys like you over what it means to be a real DJ. The "morality" part of that debate will rage on around here forever. I really don't care to argue with you about "who" should be here and "what" this place is "about".

It's too bad that so many aspiring DJ's come here so fvcked up that they never really see past the "nice guy vs. jerk" routine. There is a big picture that too many people miss.

Being a genuine and good person makes you and your life better. This inevitably leads to more success with everything including women. The fact that so many guys would trade in their morals for a mere taste of pvssy just shows how pitiful of a state they are stuck in. It's no wonder they can't get laid or have a good relationship with a woman. (or anyone really)

If you only come here to talk about getting laid that is fine. If you think that getting pvssy is all important and all there is to life then you may be either immature or just plain ignorant. Either way there is more work to do.

We all go thru different phases in our journey to become DJs. When a sniff of pvssy overrides doing something that is honourable and good then you really are limiting yourself in so many ways.





azanon said:
Surely there's one of "them there" "social contrivances" that RT talks about that applies to your comment. Since he hasn't written his book yet, I can't give you a page number. ;-)
P.S. What is it with you and Rollo? He's one of the best we have but you really take it to another level. Mancrush maybe?
 

Slickster

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StevieD said:
Jaylan you are right...

Here is the thing though.... She is going to be hurt either way. She doesn't want her illness to make her not "normal" Maybe having sex with her though fleeting might at least give her temporary joy...

I guess what I need to figure out is what is my approach?

Just ignore her.. and let her flake out (maybe happening already)

Or

Tell her I am not looking for an LTR, I am a player. If we do it, we do it...


This my dilemma
Stevie do you really want to be the guy that broke the dying girl's heart? She's obviously reaching out for someone in a very vulnerable state and you really don't give a damn about her.

Any small bit of pleasure you may get from sexing her will disappear as soon as you know how deeply you've hurt her.

There is so much pvssy out there. Keep looking and somewhere down the road you'll be glad you avoided this negative experience.
 

f283000

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A couple of points here
Stevie do you really want to be the guy that broke the dying girl's heart? She's obviously reaching out for someone in a very vulnerable state and you really don't give a damn about her.
Or she might be acting on her desires as a woman to have a man make love to her. She found a receptive guy attractive to her and he is also attracted to her (stevied)
Any small bit of pleasure you may get from sexing her will disappear as soon as you know how deeply you've hurt her.
This goes back to my first part above
There is so much pvssy out there. Keep looking and somewhere down the road you'll be glad you avoided this negative experience.
And I agree. I don't want to sound like i'm contradicting myself I had to give the dark side a chance as well ha. I just had to give both sides.

So while it may sound like im saying he should shag her he actually SHOULDN'T. We as men and human beings need to avoid situations which could result in a huge outpour of negative energy into our lives and this one definitely has that potential.

Sure he could shag her and the secks might be amazing since she really wants it and so does he but what happens after? possible attachment, neverending calls from her, having the thought of being involved with a possibly dying woman is not what you need in your life. In fact it has already brought negative energy to him and it will only get worse if he closes the deal with her.

I seriously doubt she would opt in for no strings attached secks like he is suggesting. Right now she is probably horny as hell and feeling lonely but in the back of her mind she wishes she had a man by her side.
 

samspade

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f283000 said:
I seriously doubt she would opt in for no strings attached secks like he is suggesting. Right now she is probably horny as hell and feeling lonely but in the back of her mind she wishes she had a man by her side.
I agree with this. Of course, you can say the same about a lot of healthy women. However I don't place taking into consideration that she just received a death sentence on par with "White Knighting." There are plenty of guys who would still pump and dump her, and feel fine about it; I have no problem with that. In the back of any woman's mind, she knows she's taking that chance. To me, it sounds like the OP is not that type though. He's already included the MS factor into his calculus. Sleeping with her would probably invite a level of bonding (if only in her mind) that he'll have an even harder time severing. So he should either preemptively disabuse her of such notions, or steer clear.

Like I said earlier, there will be plenty of women for you to seduce. She's just one. Have some perspective, don't take the whole sex thing so seriously.
 

StevieD

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Well last night she texted me that she missed kissing me. This morning I took Jaylan's advice and literally texted her

"I dont want to hurt you, and but im just trying to have fun right now and I wouldnt want you to get hurt"


She responded back with "lol you are one funny boy. Dont worry number deleted. There hope u feel better now"

So I responded back with "thats not what I meant"

She responded with "sounded pretty clear to me"

I then basically texted her that I liked her but I am not good with commitments and I hurt other girls in the past. I wanted to be up front.

She didn't respond.... I guess it's for the best.
 

SteR

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StevieD said:
Well last night she texted me that she missed kissing me. This morning I took Jaylan's advice and literally texted her

"I dont want to hurt you, and but im just trying to have fun right now and I wouldnt want you to get hurt"


She responded back with "lol you are one funny boy. Dont worry number deleted. There hope u feel better now"

So I responded back with "thats not what I meant"

She responded with "sounded pretty clear to me"

I then basically texted her that I liked her but I am not good with commitments and I hurt other girls in the past. I wanted to be up front.

She didn't respond.... I guess it's for the best.
Personally I think you did the right thing - at least you'll have a clear conscience
 

DMSR76

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My goodness.

Perhaps this chick simply wanted you to **** her, Steve. Chronic disease doesn't mean dead in 12 hours. A person with MS can't have a sex drive???

I think you read too way much into it, but at least you made a decision.
 

Satin

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Agree that you did the right thing. Lots of women out there to game and this one would have left you feeling like ****, whether you closed or not.

Now if she comes back saying she just wants to bang, that would be another story. Doesn't sound like that from your description of her, though...
 

ThreeStorms

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didn't read everything.. but maybe being ****ed really good is exactly what this chick needs now very much... forget about her really terrible disease for 30 minutes
 

DarkShade

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This is a complete and utter thread fail. It should have started with, "So I had sex with this chick I like a lot."
 

bamp

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why did u even wait past the first night to sleep w/ her? if she was only gonna be one and done than why did you even worry whether she knew where you lived? that's what shotguns and 911 are for...
 

disgustipated

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I don't see the dilemma here. You didn't bang her, she then (supposedly) is diagnosed with MS.....where in all of that are you on the hook for ANYTHING?

Easy out. Don't **** her. Done son.

If you're seriously wrestling with the decision on whether or not to **** a chick with MS then your options must be slim to none, and/or your confidence in your ability to secure more options in the future then you should leave her alone.

Either way, leave her alone.

Not because of her issues, because of your own.
 

StevieD

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disgustipated said:
I don't see the dilemma here. You didn't bang her, she then (supposedly) is diagnosed with MS.....where in all of that are you on the hook for ANYTHING?

Easy out. Don't **** her. Done son.

If you're seriously wrestling with the decision on whether or not to **** a chick with MS then your options must be slim to none, and/or your confidence in your ability to secure more options in the future then you should leave her alone.

Either way, leave her alone.

Not because of her issues, because of your own.
I did next her. Learn how to read before you talk shvit you fvcking idiot
 

Three

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Stevie, I know I'm chiming in late, but couldn't help it. You took the high road here and saved yourself from getting sucked in. I've been the white knight and it sucks balls. Don't be tempted to jump back in because you will get emotionally involved and it will destroy your life.

You did the right thing. It's much, much, MUCH better to steer clear of women with any major mental or health issues or drama of any kind. This is your one shot at life and you don't want to blow years of it being in a situation of exquisite torture. Good job, man!
 

scrouds

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Its all been said and done, the lesson right now would be to ask: what, if anything, will you regret.
 
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