Girl wants a relationship then she doesn't. I say an open relationship or I walk.

[Speculator E]

This is for my friend and the same girl:

I swear my best friend is smooth real smooth. He used to be a very big AFC until he started hanging out with me. This is the text exchange my friend gave me last night between him and his girl. Backstory he's been seeing this girl for two months. At first she was talking about wanting to find a boyfriend and get into a relationship. But now lately she saying she prefer to take it "slow", "see what happens", now she admits she "not really looking for a boyfriend." Typical signs of losing interest. And oh yeah it's an online LDR but they only live two hours away.

Me: Me too...and I'll try to tell you when I may not be feeling good. Do you want to keep our "relationship" going? 2:01 AM
Her: At what point did we get into a "relationship" in the first place? 2:07 AM
Me: I meant just talking geez see the "" 2:07 AM
Me: technically it's called texting buddies 2:08 AM
Her: Oh. Okay. 2:10 AM
Me: What does relationship mean to you? an official bf/gf status? 2:15 AM
Me: nvm probably a dumb question 2:20 AM
Her: Well it can mean different things. 2:23 AM
Me: You know I've been told by my confidante that's the only way we're gonna find out if we're a match is if we meet in person and see if there's a spark. I'm not saying I want to yet, but she has a good point. 2:25 AM
Her: No **** she has a good point but what you don't seem to get is that I am not looking for a boyfriend right now. 2:29 AM
Me: Lol...Oh, why didn't you tell me that from the start. I had a different idea of what was going on. I would've been OKAY with that. 2:30 AM
Me: So just fun for now? 2:31 AM
Me: I would have gotten it but you didn't tell me. 2:32 AM
Her: I guess my brain is just opposite of yours. If something hasn't been directly discussed I guess I just never assume anything. 2:44 AM
Me: I was thinking of being loyal. But since technically we're not official and have no plans to be. It's fair that I can see other girls and you can do the same. 2:47 AM
Her: Absolutely. 2:49 AM
Me: Agreed 2:50 AM

How do you all think he did here? Especially towards the end when his girl flat out tell him that she was not looking for a boyfriend. Even after two months? It made me laugh that he brought up the "since they are not official then he has the right to see other girls" line. I bet she didn't expect that to happen. Hahaha

But now he wants to know what he can do to start making her jealous and stuff since his relationship is open now and he's free.

I think she set herself up into a major trap but he doesn't realize that yet. Now he can turns her losing interest around by making her jealous when he start plowing the field. Haha.

But that's just my opinion. I'd like to hear what the forum thinks on how he did?

 

[Speculator E]

Here's the full text convo that he sent.

Me: What do you mean by "you're a human (I think...)"? What? 1:30 AM
Her: Terminator. 1:30 AM
Her: Lol. 1:30 AM
Me: I wish... 1:31 AM
Her: Lol I'm Sarah Connor, though. 1:31 AM
Me: you don't seem that tough to me. maybe to others. To me I think you're adorable. 1:34 AM
Her: Lol. Pshhhh you don't know me! 1:35 AM
Me: Heh...you don't know me either. I'm sure I can handle you. The question is can you handle me? 1:37 AM
Her: I don't know if I can. 1:39 AM
Me: what do you mean? 1:39 AM
Her: Bc idk. You are... Complex lol. 1:41 AM
Me: LOL...that's the first time I've been called that. So you're saying I'm a challenge to you. I suppose that's a good thing. 1:43 AM
Me: I thought you were suppose to be miss super genius from high school? 1:46 AM
Her: But then you make snarky ass comments like that and it just pisses me off. 1:48 AM
Her: Like. It makes me not want to compliment you when you say **** like that. 1:49 AM
Me: lol...it wasn't meant to sound snarky. how does it sound snarky? explain. 1:52 AM
Me: okay nvm maybe it does a little bit....but I can't read your mind you can tell me things that I do that pisses you off and it won't hurts my feelings. 1:57 AM
Her: Lol. I am always very honest- you never have to worry about that. 1:57 AM
Me: So, I'll probably keep trying the sleep experiment thing and see how far it can help me bring back some emotions 1:58 AM
Her: I hope it helps. 1:59 AM

Me: Me too...and I'll try to tell you when I may not be feeling good. Do you want to keep our "relationship" going? 2:01 AM
Her: At what point did we get into a "relationship" in the first place? 2:07 AM
Me: I meant just talking geez see the "" 2:07 AM
Me: technically it's called texting buddies 2:08 AM
Her: Oh. Okay. 2:10 AM
Me: What does relationship mean to you? an official bf/gf status? 2:15 AM
Me: nvm probably a dumb question 2:20 AM
Her: Well it can mean different things. 2:23 AM
Me: You know I've been told by my confidante that's the only way we're gonna find out if we're a match is if we meet in person and see if there's a spark. I'm not saying I want to yet, but she has a good point. 2:25 AM
Her: No **** she has a good point but what you don't seem to get is that I am not looking for a boyfriend right now. 2:29 AM
Me: Lol...Oh, why didn't you tell me that from the start. I had a different idea of what was going on. I would've been OKAY with that. 2:30 AM
Me: So just fun for now? 2:31 AM
Me: I would have gotten it but you didn't tell me. 2:32 AM
Her: I guess my brain is just opposite of yours. If something hasn't been directly discussed I guess I just never assume anything. 2:44 AM
Me: I was thinking of being loyal. But since technically we're not official and have no plans to be. It's fair that I can see other girls and you can do the same. 2:47 AM
Her: Absolutely. 2:49 AM
Me: Agreed 2:50 AM

 

[samspade]

99% of the information in your post is irrelevant. They have not met face to face. There is NO relationship here, at least not beyond chat buddies.

In this case, the woman is acting more rational than the guy.

 

[Speculator E]

99% of the information in your post is irrelevant. They have not met face to face. There is NO relationship here, at least not beyond chat buddies.

In this case, the woman is acting more rational than the guy.

That's the problem he keeps suggesting a meet up but she keeps refusing which is a sign of low interest. It's not like he can't go on a date with her. They did had a meet up planned but then she started saying she's super busy lately. So now what he wants to do is to see if he can get her jealous. But if not then at least he'll have fun.

I think the problem for him was that he was acting more serious then her towards the middle and it started turning her off. I think this open relationship idea is perfect for him to turn things around. What do you think?

 

[samspade]

That's the problem he keeps suggesting a meet up but she keeps refusing which is a sign of low interest. It's not like he can't go on a date with her. They did had a meet up planned but then she started saying she's super busy lately. So now what he wants to do is to see if he can get her jealous.

Tell your buddy this secret formula:

Can't show up = low interest level.

Texting and chatting don't count....too easy, no investment.

Also - I counted 21 messages from "Me" and 16 from "Her." That right there is a problem.

 

[Lateralus]

It looks to me that he is looking for a relationship with this girl and she is not interested in having one with him. The 'open relationship' idea could work out, but both might have different intentions: she may truly just want to 'use' him for fun and he keeps hoping to get to a point that she commits to him. So who's pulling the strings and who will get hurt in the end?

I wouldn't do it, only if my intentions are the same as the girl's. He already revealed too much of his true intentions and is currently too easy for her. The best chance he has to increase her interest would be to keep his dignity and walk away OR at least put her on the back burner. No chasing.

The line about seeing other girls is fine, but it's just words and should be put in action to affect the girl, I think. She's fine with it she says, so she can't blame him afterwards. If she does, or gets angry, it's 1-0 for your friend

 

[Speculator E]

I agree and I already told him that he's getting way too involved. He agrees too and he's in no contact mode right now for at least a week. I'm also gonna take him out clubbing and bar hopping so he's busy and won't fixate on this girl too much.

 

[LorenzoVonM]

She is using your friend for online validation. She is never going to meet him. It is not a relationship. She doesn't care and is just bored, passing the time. He needs to get some hobbies because he's got way too much time to sit in front of the computer wasting time with an AW like this one. NEXT.

 

[Greasy Pig]

He's acting like a pure chump and dancing to her tune.
Sure he threw the fact that he'd be seeing other women but she just agreed and said she'd do the same thing.
If she was passionately interested in him, the thought of him screwing other women should've had her jumping straight in the car to his place with a bottle of wine and a tube of lube.
He's being massively outplayed here and should cut her loose for his own sake.

 

[Jitterbug]

The mission objective is to fvck women, not to endlessly talk and TXT them.

 

[jjacob]

Is he really talking about exclusivity with a girl he's never met?

Her: Bc idk. You are... Complex lol. 1:41 AM
Me: LOL...that's the first time I've been called that. So you're saying I'm a challenge to you. I suppose that's a good thing. 1:43 AM
Me: I thought you were suppose to be miss super genius from high school? 1:46 AM
Her: But then you make snarky ass comments like that and it just pisses me off. 1:48 AM
Her: Like. It makes me not want to compliment you when you say **** like that. 1:49 AM
Me: lol...it wasn't meant to sound snarky. how does it sound snarky? explain. 1:52 AM
Me: okay nvm maybe it does a little bit....but I can't read your mind you can tell me things that I do that pisses you off and it won't hurts my feelings. 1:57 AM

This is cringe inducing. She's essentially calling him out on anything remotely risky he says and he immediately backtracks in a sort of faux-playful way. She's putting as little effort as possible and he just does backflips trying to get her to be direct. He should really just read between the lines and realize she's attention whoring and wasting his time. Only option is to go no contact or lull her into another exchange where she thinks she's running the show and fall of the face of the planet the second she tries to **** test.

Either way I'd probably just read Rollo's "letting go of imaginary friends" and chalk it up as a learning experience.

 

[Kailex]

So you say your friend is "smooth real smooth"... and then the first line pasted is this:

Me: Me too...and I'll try to tell you when I may not be feeling good. Do you want to keep our "relationship" going? 2:01 AM

I stopped there.

He's not "smooth real smooth"... more like crash and burn.

 

[Iceberg]

How do you all think he did here? Especially towards the end when his girl flat out tell him that she was not looking for a boyfriend. Even after two months? It made me laugh that he brought up the "since they are not official then he has the right to see other girls" line. I bet she didn't expect that to happen. Hahaha

But now he wants to know what he can do to start making her jealous and stuff since his relationship is open now and he's free.

I think she set herself up into a major trap but he doesn't realize that yet. Now he can turns her losing interest around by making her jealous when he start plowing the field. Haha.

But that's just my opinion. I'd like to hear what the forum thinks on how he did?

Agree with Kailex. There's nothing smooth about this guy.

As far as him "threatening" to see other girls, why would this girl give a s**t about that? She doesn't even know him.

I mean..you're worried about him making her jealous, etc, etc...But, how? She doesn't give two wet farts about your friend. Your buddy is just some guy she's using to kill time in between work, classes, or f**king other guys.

If your friend were "smooth" he wouldn't be wasting two months of his life have 2AM phone conversations with some girl he's never f**king met.

*drops microphone*

I'm out.

 

[HalfAddict]

Texting buddies?

**** off

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