"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Girl upset with me

Alittude

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Ahh this has been driving me pretty crazy the last few days. Alright there is this girl that I met a while ago and we kissed about a month back and since then we have talked on msn and that's pretty much it. I pissed her off a few times on msn by joking around but I explained I was only joking and it was alright. Then there was this situation about prom when my friend convinced her that I was taking her which was untrue and she got really upset when she found out my friend was joking and I hadn't said a word.

So anyway I told her that I needed to talk to her but it had to be in person and I had been waiting a while and a couple of nights ago was the first time I've seen her in person since the last time we kissed and for some reason she thought I was making fun of her and got really upset and was in tears while I copped the blame and she wouldn't talk to me all night.

Now I am just unsure what to do at the moment. You're probally thinking next but I have to do something and I still really just want to talk to get things off my chest. I think this girl is pretty cool and I wouldn't mind seeing her more but now with all this crap that has gone on it's just going to be hard.

I don't know when I'll see her again so I was thinking maybe should I ask her for her number and call her and explain things or maybe arrange to meet with her and talk.

I don't know what else to do and I would really appreciate some advice thank you.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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jesusrules

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dude it sounds to me like she has a weird personallity I wouldnt be able to take a girl like that. she seems as if she gets mad at you every time you guys talk. I would next her but thats me. but I gurantee(sp) if you stick with her its just going to be a f*cking challenge. good luck man.
 

Alittude

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Yeah man I know I just think she had this view of me and I just want to have one talk to set things straight but I'm not sure how I should go about it. This girl was really nice before as well it all changed when things went further than just friends.
 

Grand Wizzard Alamar

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Try being nicer to her, but don't overdo it.
Keep yourself at a higher level than her at all times, but you should apologize to not seem heartless or w/e she may think of you at this point.
 

Axcell

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Forget about this girl, you have already put her on a pedestal by telling her you are sorry.
Look, women sometimes put tests on guys, you failed one of them. When she started acting very bratty and childish when you were joking around with her, you should NOT have let her get her way. NEVER APOLOGIZE TO A GIRL WHEN IT IS NOT NECESSARY!
You can't let a women get what she wants. Besides, what did you say to her? You should never piss a women off, were you trying to use ****y humor on her? Because if so, you were doing it wrong if she was getting mad at you.
Oh, and one more thing. Don't call her to "sort" what happened, you should avoid those long emotional talks at all times.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Alittude

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Alright man I don't know where you're getting this from but I never apolagised to her mate so forget about that. I have made fun of her in the past and I think because she was drunk and she was all emotional and thought I was making fun of her when I hadn't said a word to her.

If I shouldn't call her then what else should I do? I still feel uneasy about this whole situation and would like to resolve it somehow before just forgetting about it and moving on.
 

Grand Wizzard Alamar

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try this... don't apologize at first, but tell her that whatever she thinks isn't true, then tell her the truth.
you can tell someone facts without apologizing, but if she doesn't believe you DONT apologize, because she'll probably just reject your apology, which would make apologizing pointless anyway.

a true dj would move on because this girl obviously has problems since she got upset about you jokingly making fun of her... but it's ok if you're not ready to take on this mindset of moving on right away.
 

Alittude

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Yeah man I know what you mean but I am certainly no true dj yet anyway and also it's not so much the fact that I actually want this girl, I just want to resolve this issue and also she is friends with some of my friends which makes things a little more complicated.

I was wondering if I should either call her and talk to her about it, meet her for coffee or something and have a chat or just wait untill the next time I see her which will probally be at some random party sometime.
 

Grand Wizzard Alamar

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ok I will be totally honest with you

the people here think that you're an AFC because you don't realize your mistakes.

you keep asking for us to hold your hand and tell you EXACTLY what to do, when you should be doing it mostly by yourself for the experience and independence.

I will hold it and give you 2 options:

1. forget her for awhile, grow up, and maybe come back if you haven't found another girl.

2. just fvcking apologize to her.. one apology couldn't ruin your chances.
NOT having the balls to apologise will ruin your chances.

gl whichever you choose :p
 

ItWasntMe

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Grand Wizzard Alamar said:
ok I will be totally honest with you

the people here think that you're an AFC because you don't realize your mistakes.

you keep asking for us to hold your hand and tell you EXACTLY what to do, when you should be doing it mostly by yourself for the experience and independence.

I will hold it and give you 2 options:

1. forget her for awhile, grow up, and maybe come back if you haven't found another girl.

2. just fvcking apologize to her.. one apology couldn't ruin your chances.
NOT having the balls to apologise will ruin your chances.

gl whichever you choose :p
Guys I hate to say it but Wizzard over here is right. Being a DJ is about living your life with confidence but some of you have gone too far and are just becoming c0cky b@st@rds. Apologizing once won't kill you and being a disrespectful a$$hole just makes people want to avoid you. Jerks piss me off like no other and I feel sorry for the nice guys, you need to find a happy medium. In fact, if any of you acted in real life like the way you talk on this site (just the guys taking it too far) I would probably kick your a$$. Following the advice on this site won't make you any better than you were before if you push it too far.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Grand Wizzard Alamar

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keep most things in moderation.

lol I wish I wasn't still an AFC... or rAFC maybe :p
 
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