Girl threw me a curve ball

[Fumbduck]

Alright boys...

I got hit with a curve ball tonight after a phone call from a girl i've been seeing for about a month now. We talked tonight like we normally do, you know- talk for an hour about absolutally nothing. We've all had these convo's.

Anyway...i'm just getting ready to go, and she asks me about our 'status'. I'm like uh oh...i really dont want a set "girl friend".

She says that someone asked her out, but she didn't say yes to him. So she goes to me, i want to know how you feel about me. If we're just 'friends', then i'd go out with him...if not i'd much rather be with you.

Knowing that you can NEVER be 'friends' with a girl you're interested in i said to her that i did in fact see her as 'more than just a friend' in my eyes. She said good, "i know what i have to do now".

All the tips/experiences i've seen on this website preach for you NOT to express your feelings. Hope I said the right thing...what do you all think of this? Ever get hit with a question of this caliber?


Hey...if i didn't make the right move- it's a game, and there's a ton of fish in the sea!!

 

[diablo]

The girl I'm currently sleeping with did the same thing to me... kept telling me about these guys that were asking her out, and wanted to know what things were between her and I. I told her the same thing each time, that I wasn't ready for a relationship, and if she wanted to be with them then go ahead and tell them okay... but if she did, she'd be losing me entirely. She told them to **** off, and I've been hitting it weekly for the past 4-5 months. Now, we're pretty much exclusively dating but she and I both know not to put titles on whatever it is we are... that's what ruins things, after all.

I'd recommend you letting her make up her own mind. Don't be pressured into being her 'boyfriend'... let her know that it's you that's calling the shots and not the other way around. If she wants it bad enough she'll have to accept your terms. If she doesn't, guess you're just SOL...

 

[Wiesman44]

make her believe you're somewhat exclusive. Don't say you want to put a title on it. Make her THINK you are exclusive. You'll get more a$$ out of the deal. Do you have to do everything that you wouldnt normally do when in a relationship ? of course not. Its a 2 way street, and if you're not going 2 way, she will definitely let up a little bit with you still being able to hit it.

Is this a horribly corrupt way to use this girl for sex but still have fun with her ? Yes.

But are we men and have a need to satisfy our sex drive w/o needing to put up with the lovey dovey sh#t til we are ready to settle down ? oh hell ya

 

[stalluproar]

I would tell her, "Why do you want to put a label on this so fast" Then follow up with what Diablo said.

 

[Austin3.8]

I get this all the time, and sometimes its a girl I just met! Here is what you do, dodge this question entirely. When she asks any questions about the status of the relationship it means you have her in the palm of your hand, and if you answer it then she has you in the palm of her hand. When she pops the question, dodge it by asking one of your own questions such as "What do I get out of it?" and no matter how she answers it, the correct responce is "Thats not going to cut it" or "You are going to have to do better than that" or "Is that all you got?"

 

[86]

dude! this chick I went out with tonite wanted to put a label on 'us' at the end of our second date.

 

[Austin3.8]

Originally posted by 86
dude! this chick I went out with tonite wanted to put a label on 'us' at the end of our second date.

Keep up the good work and dodge dodge dodge

 

[DeathDealer]

Sometimes when a girl asks this question it means she is getting "mixed" signals from you and she wants to know if you are going to be 100% committed to her or not.

You may "dodge" or give "vague answers" all you want but you should know you are playing a game.

Be honest, and tell her what you want.

BTW, I'm those types that believe in "one" girl at a time, other DJs in here may not agree with my view on this. I just don't have time/money to date multiple women or the sanity to play games.

 

[Austin3.8]

Originally posted by DeathDealer Sometimes when a girl asks this question it means she is getting "mixed" signals from you and she wants to know if you are going to be 100% committed to her or not.

She is dazed, confused, and conpletely off balance. Perfect opportunity to run circles around her.

You may "dodge" or give "vague answers" all you want but you should know you are playing a game.

It's the best game on earth, and everyone is a player. There is no bench in this game.

Be honest, and tell her what you want.

Never lie or tell half truths to a girl, you will LOSE and BURN for it. Deflecting and dodgeing can save your neck and is a game winning play if its done skillfully.

 

[Fumbduck]

Guys...

Thanks for all your replies- it's a big help! I guess when you start playing this game correctly you begin to throw girls off their own games instead of vice versa! When she asked me this question it threw me through a loop- i've never been asked this before. Thankfully I have more DJ skills then I thought, and dodged the question by asking her a question of my own. I never came out and said, "Yes i would like to be your boyfriend". Simply implied that i was interested in her without acutally comming out and saying those exact words: "I like/love/want you etc."

From your experiences when you're sending a girl mixed signals, and you have her in the palm of your hand, how do you keep her there? There were also a lot of suggestions about not putting a 'label' on things. How did you guys say this without having her loose interest?