"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Girl that I've been crushing on just got dumped by her bf

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When should I move in? Is it a smart idea time to give her some emo time or is waiting a huge mistake. What do you DJs who have been in this situation recommend?

Instinct tells me to invite her to lunch sometime. If during out conversation she decides to talk about her ex (why they broke up, why he's an *******, and etc.) How does a DJ handle that type of conversation?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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italostud

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If it's a very recent breakup, and she was with him for a fair amount of time, I'd be careful.

If you just want to bang her, it might be a pretty easy lay.

If you want a relationship with her, forget it.
 

Joe The Homophobe

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Originally posted by Jay Reimenschneider

Instinct tells me to invite her to lunch sometime. If during out conversation she decides to talk about her ex (why they broke up, why he's an *******, and etc.) How does a DJ handle that type of conversation?
Read the DJ Bible.

If men had to wait until women tell you they are "ready" for a relationship, many would have to wait for a long time! why? because they never tell you the truth. This is why men have to make the move. Seriously what are you waiting for? her to put up a sign that says "ok Jay, I forgot my ex, now you can make your move," do you know how much of a p**** you sound like, waiting like an idiot thinking "oh geez I don't know if I should make my move yet, she might not be ready"

you have to put your move on her when YOU feel ready, not when you think she is ready. This ain't a life and death decision we are talking about here. If she says yes then it is a yes, if no she says no. Only 2 outcomes, nothing really complicated or to be scared about.
 

tmpgstx

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Pretty easy Jay .. if she likes you as much, she won't even mention her x at all. If it were me, i would make sure i'm the next to date her, because she will be dating someone eventually again anyway, it might as well be you if the attraction is mutual. I'd ask her to lunch, what's the big deal? Sure, give her some down time but stay in touch and then ask her. Make sure she's ready too and not clinging to the past.
 

Luscious

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Number one, you shouldn't be waiting for a girl to get out of a relationship - you should have some prospects on the side for practice and just plain old sex, period.

Like the dude above me here said, you might have to stretch things out and give her some 'time to be ready' if you want some sort of LTR out of the deal. Or...

With that out of the way, if you want the lay, you might MIGHT be able to pull it off - right now she'll be looking for comfort and assurance that she is still attractive, so lots of kino would work well (Operate around the principle that she will be seeking and needing this comfort and reassurance of her attractiveness!). Talking about the ex-boyfriend is going to be not-so-good because of the negative feelings coming through there.

I like your idea of taking her out for lunch or dinner - and then, if you have some good interactions there, have her back to your place "to talk" and look at your ____collection or whatever (the standard hook to avoid their anti-sl*t defense). If she responds well to the kino, you can make a move then. BEWARE - this could always blow up in your face really good, as well.

But it's no fun if it's no risk, right?

I'm pullin' for ya!:)
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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