Went out with this new girl earlier in the week. Saw her today and asked what she's doing sun night and that we should hang out. Was thinking maybe just chilling my place and watching the Canada vs USA hockey game. She said she was free in the evening and that she'll text me. I'm thinking of calling her tomorrow though to make sure we're on. But should I wait to hear from her?
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Girl tells me that she'll text me; should I call her or wait for her to text me?
- Thread starter Kal0051
- Start date
WalkingStick
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
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She said she would text you. Let her text you.
hydroheathen
Don Juan
Last girl that said that to me turned out being a big flake caused me alot of stress.
Pimp-sicle
Master Don Juan
Kal0051 said:
Every situation is unique based on the what's happened up... but with that said:
Here's a little gauge for you if you ask a girl out and how to decode her response:
A) I'll call or text you: 85% probability of a flake due to low interest
B) If she agrees, but says to call her to confirm because (insert out here) I'm feeling sick right now, or I might have to pick up a friend etc 65% probability of a flake... she has interest but she's not sure enough about you to agree to go out yet
C) Maybe: Again a this is a soft rejection with 95% probability of a flake
--------------------
Bottom line here bro, is this girl does not have high interest; even if she does show up, your chances of hooking up or getting anywhere with her look slim to none at best.
Don't hold your breath on this one and DEFINITELY DO NOT CALL/TEXT TO CONFIRM! That's a desperate move and will make you look badddddd!
PIMP
typical
Master Don Juan
First of all don't text her or call her, she is not into you end of story. She might have been into you on the first date but you most likely done something (or didn't do something) to loose her interest.
You should have isolated on first date and escalated to a decent make out session.
Back at square one, you need to re-work your approach and not get stressed out at getting another date with the same girl. You put the right ground work in at the first date and she will automatically ask you out or want to go lunch the next day.
You should have isolated on first date and escalated to a decent make out session.
Back at square one, you need to re-work your approach and not get stressed out at getting another date with the same girl. You put the right ground work in at the first date and she will automatically ask you out or want to go lunch the next day.
I'm not getting stress out, just annoyed. Maybe the problem's with me, I always think the date went well but I'm always wrong. I honestly don't know what to do, I'm obviously doing something wrong and I don't know what it is.
amoka
Master Don Juan
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The date may went well but the way you proceed after the date lands you another date. You seem to be putting all your eggs in one basket.. It is highly probable that this girl will not text you to let you know of her plans. Dont expect her text, and dont ask her (in case you ran into her again) why she did not text you. Does this woman know you planned on watching a hockey game with her at your place? If she does, text her on sunday 3 or 4 hours before the game saying "branch through the store to get some popcorn. I got some soda that I dont want to put to waste" or something like that. If she is not aware that she is coming to your place for the game, text her "I am picking you up at 6. Dress sexy for me." You got nothing to loose whether she responds or not. Spin more plates.Kal0051 said:
What I said to her is that we should watch the game at a bar or my place. She did say that she may be watching it with her buds but she will tell me what her plans are. I realize she's probably trying to get rid of me. Oh well whatever, just gonna give up with this one.
Kailex
Master Don Juan
Kal, that's a flake.
If she was into you, she'd be picking YOU over her BUDS.
I'm sorry to say it, but start "moving on" already.
I wish I knew what you were doing pre-date, date, and post-date that doesn't get you past the first one though.
Maybe start a journal?
I know you are a little unmotivated but you HAVE to hang in there. Dating is supposed to be FUN and NOT feel like work and right now it just seems like a JOB to you, one that absolutely sucks.
If she was into you, she'd be picking YOU over her BUDS.
I'm sorry to say it, but start "moving on" already.
I wish I knew what you were doing pre-date, date, and post-date that doesn't get you past the first one though.
Maybe start a journal?
I know you are a little unmotivated but you HAVE to hang in there. Dating is supposed to be FUN and NOT feel like work and right now it just seems like a JOB to you, one that absolutely sucks.
Well I have fun on the dates because I have the delusion that the girl is having a good time and likes me (why else would she agree to it?). But I get smacked back down to earth afterwards when they flake or straight up tell me they don't want to hang out. I don't think a journal will help, either everything went fine and the problems with them or I'm so delusional I think everything is fine and I'm missing something. Maybe if someone came with me on a date and could tell me what I'm doing wrong, but don't know anyone know could do that. Or maybe just ask this brutally honest girl I know to go out with me and tell me where I'm ****ing up.
Igetit!
Moderator
The reason she agreed to the date was because she didn't know you when you approached her,and she was open to seeing what type of guy you are.Kal0051 said:
Then AFTER THE DATE when she learned more about you,then her interest started to decline. So obviously the disconnect happened during the date.
Kailex had it right.
Something in the way you approached her pre-date created interest in her,then either something you did (or didn't do) during the date made her lose interest.
So that means you have at least one piece of the puzzle down. I don't know how you approached her,but whatever you did it was successful.
So keep doing that.
If you could let us know what went on during the date,maybe we could spot where things got off track and help you avoid it in the future.
I've asked these questions a thousand times,but I have to ask them again.
Here we go....
What did you talk about on the date? EXACTLY.
Did you flirt with her,as in making sexual/romantic comments?
Who did most of the talking in the conversations? Did you lead in conversation,or did she?
(Here's a big one) Did you ask her any questions about herself?
Did you notice a drop in interest from her DURING the date,or was it just afterwards when you tried to set up a second one?
Women are EMOTIONAL. They can easily pick up on any emotions or feelings you express. So answer this....
How were YOU on the date,emotionally speaking? Were you nervous or uncomfortable at all? Were you fearful of "screwing up"?
I know you don't keep a "log" of your chats and interactions with girls,but if you could provide the info I asked of you,it should help us to help you decipher what the problem is.
I ran out of posts so I'm posting this on a old account. It's the OP if you were wondering.
the basic stuff, our education, what we like to do for fun, what we do for work, hopes, dreams, passion, plans for the future.Igetit! said:
a bit, nothing too crazy. A bit of kino too
convo was pretty much just back and forth, but I started most of the topics.
yes I asked her questions about herself.
didn't notice her interest drop during the date. Never once did she seem like she wante it to end. And the kiss at the end seemed mutual. Plus she texted me after saying she had a good time.
I wasn't really nervous, and I wasn't afraid of screwing up. Our convo did dip a bit at the end but we did hang out for 5 hours so we ran out of topics.
Dante420
Master Don Juan
not always it depends how he reads the situation, he has to know how she perceives him and what kinda person he's coming off as. calling whenever he feels like even at a spontaneous moment isnt always a bad thingPimp-sicle said:
Igetit!
Moderator
So this is what you two talked about. Well,there's nothing wrong with this,but this is all COMFORT. There's no attraction here.Kal said:
The model is A.C.S.;attraction,comfort,seduction,in that order.
Atttraction is first. Then the comfort,then the seduction.
If you get it out of order,you'll run into specific problems.
This was your response to the question of if you flirted with her or not.Kal said:
You said you did,but nothing too crazy. Well maybe you need to get "crazy".
The #1 thing above ALL ELSE to can do to make a girl not like you is to be boring. That's the one thing a girl won't forgive.
You can be mean
You can be rude
You can offend her
You can anger her
You can insult her
You can put her down
You can do ALL THAT,but if you create chemistry in her,she'll forgive all these infractions.
But if you bore her,it's over with.
When I look at the topics of conversation you had with her,combined with the "not too crazy" toned down flirting,I see no interest created in her.
Like I said,she initially went out with you not knowing you,so the anticipation of getting to know you made her follow through to see that type of guy you are. But talking about mundane subjects on the date WITHOUT agressive flirting most likely cooled her interest for you.
Although this is good,alone,it isn't enough.Kal said:
Now this was bad.Kal said:
Five hours is WAAAAY too long for a date. You don't want the date to last that long REGUARDLESS of how much fun you,or the girl is having.
It's best to cut it off on a high note.
You don't want the date to last the point where she gets tired of you.
then tell me what sorts of topics create attraction.Igetit! said:
well I'm not sure what kind of answer you were expecting. Yes I flirted with her. Yes there are some kino. We went skating so there was opportunity for kino when I wasn't almost falling on my ass.
yeah it was kind of long. However I set up a shorter date with this girl a week or 2 before (we could have only hung out for 2 hours or so) and she rejected the idea because it wasn't long enough and re-scheduled for a day she could have hung out longer. And besides that, what we did just took a lot of time. Went skating for 2 hours, walked around for a bit, grabbed dinner, and watched part of a hockey game. I don't disagree with you that it was too long, but she didn't want to leave.
again I agree with you on this point.
Anyways I might have been too hasty to say this girl has lost all interest. I texted her yesterday to cancel for today and she said she wanted to do
something this week. I suggested dinner and movie at my place which there was no objections to. We just need to plan when and where to meet since she's never been to my place (and she doesn't know my part if the city).