I have been seeing this girl for about two months. We pretty much took off on fire, a lot of sex, going out often, really enjoying each others company. she went to her home country recently and came back a little different. She told me that 6 months before she met me, she broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years and had trouble with him when she went home (abuse, bad phone calls at night etc). Before she went home she was adamant we were together (bf/gf) but now she says she "cant" be in a "relationship" now and said she told herself she couldn't be in one after her bad break up with her boyfriend. The thing is...We are still going out together, having fun, kissing, and having sex. On the face of it it seems like nothing has changed. Except for the fact that she is still adamant she "cant" be in a relationship. That she needs time to get herself together (that sometimes she hates men, WTF?) She says she does not want to be with any other man but me. She is from a different country and maybe I am not understanding what she means by "relationship". When we talk about it we can never come to a conclusion because if she does not want a relationship why have sex , kiss, share intimate things with me and ask that I do not see other girls? She said that we moved too fast before... but we are now going at the same pace as before and she still says the same thing? I like to be on top of things I am not going to marry this girl, I just like to be in charge. It just seems a bit strange to me that when she initially told me she didn't want a relationship I was gona leave it, but then we started kissing and having sex again. I want to know what this is so I can act accordingly...I cant complain with no-strings mind blowing sex. I jst want to know how to turn this in my favour as in me not having to ask her what the **** she wants. Any insight you could give into this females mind would be great
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Girl tells me she "cant" be in a relationship right now, we are still having sex
- Thread starter grtytu
- Start date
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
E
Energizer
Guest
I thought this would be any sensible man's dream. Sex with no strings attached?
You're getting oneitis for a woman who isn't even interested in you (in terms of a relationship).
If you can't handle the heat, get the hell out of the kitchen applies here.
You're getting oneitis for a woman who isn't even interested in you (in terms of a relationship).
If you can't handle the heat, get the hell out of the kitchen applies here.
xectxny19x
Don Juan
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Seriously, this is nothing to worry about. No strings attached sex? C'mon now. As for her not wanting you to see other girls though, tell her you guys are not in a relationship.
If you are looking for an LTR though, this girl is not for you at the moment. See other girls.
If you are looking for an LTR though, this girl is not for you at the moment. See other girls.
HalfAddict
Master Don Juan
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I understand dude...six or seven years ago... I'd have loved this situation. Now not so much... I think she isn't right for you... and there are plenty of ladies out there who want what you want....she says that **** so she doesn't feel bad about ****ing other guys, that's my opinion of course... But If I was railing a chick and just couldn't have a relationship... it's because there's someone else.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Her actions and words say different things. It seems she wants a relationship but just not with you. It sounds like something happened when she went home which could be anything. She's lieing about not wanting a BF so I wouldn't believe everything she says.
The more oneitis you have the more it'll trun her off so be careful. Date other women and stop worrying about her.
The more oneitis you have the more it'll trun her off so be careful. Date other women and stop worrying about her.
I have realized that I do not want a serious relationship with this woman. maybe this is just an agreement of spending time with each other and having sex. maybe something bad happened to her at home. she is only going to be here for another 10 months, with the option to stay here. I am thinking of just sticking with this till I find another woman. The thing is this girl ain't got no boundaries in bed if you catch my drift and id hate to lose that prematurely. I started off with her not wanting a relationship and her emotional eruption shook me a little but I'm pretty sure ive got all my cards in my deck again. She has agreed not to see other men while we are "not in a relationship". She works long hours and any free time she has she usually makes it available to me. So as long as I continue to get my sex il stick around.
HalfAddict
Master Don Juan
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I still suggest you find a back up... see some others.. whatever... having a back up is a sure cure for oneitis.