Girl suddenly starts asking about my friend.

[OneofOne]

I've been talking to this girl for a few weeks now, taking the slow track as she had a boyfriend but was on the tail end of the relationship.

Well she finally dumps the guy, and we go out to celebrate... I'm thinking things couldn't get any sweeter than this, but then she suddenly starts asking a bunch of questions about one of my boys. When she started probing about whether he was single or not, I just said "Hey, why don't you just call him and ask him yourself?" I knew at that point, I was done already, so I gave her his number.

So after all the time I put in, apparently all I did was give my boy an assist.

Sucks, but I guess you win some and you lose some.

What would you have done in this situation?

 

[Scion]

I've been talking to this girl for a few weeks now, taking the slow track as she had a boyfriend but was on the tail end of the relationship.

Well she finally dumps the guy, and we go out to celebrate... I'm thinking things couldn't get any sweeter than this, but then she suddenly starts asking a bunch of questions about one of my boys. When she started probing about whether he was single or not, I just said "Hey, why don't you just call him and ask him yourself?" I knew at that point, I was done already, so I gave her his number.

So after all the time I put in, apparently all I did was give my boy an assist.

Sucks, but I guess you win some and you lose some.

What would you have done in this situation?

I would have done what you did and then walk away. Never contact her again, best thing to do to keep your pride. Plus she only sees you as her girlfriend. It's risky to be there for a girl at the tail end of a relationship if you don't show her that your interested in her.

 

[Ease]

this is why u must always be an *******.

the moment you are anything that can be percieved as 'nice' or 'friend' then you lose your edge and tension.

 

[OneofOne]

this is why u must always be an *******.

the moment you are anything that can be percieved as 'nice' or 'friend' then you lose your edge and tension.

Yeah man. I hear you. For some reason I've been holding on to my nice behavior. I have to let that go for sure.

 

[Vice]

One of "your boys" huh? You run some kind of gay pimp circle?

Anyway, you should have teased her about looking too hard for a boyfriend, and then tried to push her on him or some other goofy guy.

How did you answer her questions? Did you feel nervous or weird answering them?

 

[The Grey Fox]

I've been talking to this girl for a few weeks now, taking the slow track as she had a boyfriend but was on the tail end of the relationship.

Well she finally dumps the guy, and we go out to celebrate... I'm thinking things couldn't get any sweeter than this, but then she suddenly starts asking a bunch of questions about one of my boys. When she started probing about whether he was single or not, I just said "Hey, why don't you just call him and ask him yourself?" I knew at that point, I was done already, so I gave her his number.

So after all the time I put in, apparently all I did was give my boy an assist.

Sucks, but I guess you win some and you lose some.

What would you have done in this situation?

Haha oh **** man that story made me laugh sorry (I'm sure it's cool).

You were in a tricky situation I guess cos she had a boyfriend, as you said about taking the slow track you just probably didn't display your interest enough. As you said you win some you lose some. MJ blew dunks from time to time.

 

[OneofOne]

Haha oh **** man that story made me laugh sorry (I'm sure it's cool).

You were in a tricky situation I guess cos she had a boyfriend, as you said about taking the slow track you just probably didn't display your interest enough. As you said you win some you lose some. MJ blew dunks from time to time.

Yeah man, it is kinda funny now. I was a bit pissed off about it at first.

You're right MJ missed a few. Sticking with that analogy, I keep trying to be like Mike, but end up being like Scottie Pippen. Haha!

I don't know why it's so hard to not be nice, I definitely need help with that, so any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

[slaog]

What would you have done in this situation?

I know what I wouldn't have done, give her your friends number. She sounds like an ignorant b*tch anyway so theres no great loss there.

 

[babystepninspiration]

haha, what's done is done, and I think you handled it well.

Personally, I wouldn't have given her his number. She would have gotten it anyway, but getting it from someone other than you is a little more dignified (for you) IMHO.

regardless, good job!

 

[Igetit!]

I've been talking to this girl for a few weeks now, taking the slow track as she had a boyfriend but was on the tail end of the relationship.

So if I understand this correctly,you hung out and talked with this girl for a few weeks while waiting for her relationship to end,right?

You made a classic error. You tried to get her logically.


What you should have done is STAY AWAY FROM HER until her relationship had ended. By you hanging out and talking with her,you basically friendzoned yourself.


You never showed your interest to her while you were waiting her relationship out. I understand what you were trying to do,but women don't date logically.




There's no "pause button" on emotions. She couldn't put her feelings towards you on hold until her relationship ended. You continued hanging around her BEING NONSEXUAL/NONROMANTIC,therefore she developed NONSEXUAL/NONROMANTIC feeliings towards you.




Or to put it another way,you were friendzoned by default.




You can't "just hang" around a woman. If you do,she'll develop feeling towards you AUTOMATICALLY. Those feelings being sexual or friendly depend on how you act and behave with her WHILE you're "hanging out".





If you act or behave sexual,her feelings will lean towards sexual.


If you act friendly,they'll lean towards friendliness.


If you do neither,it's friendzone by default.

Well she finally dumps the guy, and we go out to celebrate...

Huh? You two went out to celebrate her dumping her boyfriend? That was a nail in the coffin right there,never mind her asking you about your friend.



Girls celebrate dumping guys with OTHER GIRLS,not guys their attracted to.


And she wouldn't have done that unless you two had been talking and hanging out like girlfriends for a while.

I'm thinking things couldn't get any sweeter than this, but then she suddenly starts asking a bunch of questions about one of my boys. When she started probing about whether he was single or not, I just said "Hey, why don't you just call him and ask him yourself?" I knew at that point, I was done already, so I gave her his number.

Yeah,I guess giving her his number was alright to do. I just hope you don't think she intentionally tried to hurt you or anything.


YOU SCREWED UP here by hanging out while her WHILE SHE WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP. Her feelings just developed themselves around the way you carried yourself around her.




You can't be friends with her while she was dating,then when she dumped her boyfriend be like,"Alright,you're single now. We can start dating".




It doesn't work that way.

 

[trent81]

IGet it is an archival man. He has it down. NEVER WAIT FOR A WOMAN TO BREAK UP WITH HER MAN. Stay the fuvk away. Stay away from emotionally unavailable women. NEVER be a rebound. It doesn't work. You were in the friendzone. She likes your friend because he has sex appeal, he didn't go for her, he stayed back and watched from far. He is not stupid. The friend knows, as soon as she is ready, she will choose the next guy. NEVER GO FOR A WOMAN COMING OFF OF A RELATIONSHIP. Unless, you want JUST SEX ONE TIME>good luck. Even that is difficult to do sometimes.

 

[Nutz]

One of "your boys" huh? You run some kind of gay pimp circle?

Anyway, you should have teased her about looking too hard for a boyfriend, and then tried to push her on him or some other goofy guy.

How did you answer her questions? Did you feel nervous or weird answering them?

This. "He's a nice guy. Just like that guy. You should go talk to him. Here, I'll introduce you guys."

She'll back down and be all "no no no!" and that'll be the end of it. As soon as you throw a spotlight on her little fantasy it ruins it. If you play along that's exactly what she's looking for. It's essentially a sh!t test when it boils right down to it. If you play nice then she loses attraction to you and has a free in with your friend.

Alternatively you could play the a-hole and say she shouldn't get her hopes up because he only dates hot girls. Either way you're still the challenge and are busting on her and is far better than being Mr Nice Guy.

 

[nismo-4]

This. "He's a nice guy. Just like that guy. You should go talk to him. Here, I'll introduce you guys."

She'll back down and be all "no no no!" and that'll be the end of it. As soon as you throw a spotlight on her little fantasy it ruins it. If you play along that's exactly what she's looking for. It's essentially a sh!t test when it boils right down to it. If you play nice then she loses attraction to you and has a free in with your friend.

Alternatively you could play the a-hole and say she shouldn't get her hopes up because he only dates hot girls. Either way you're still the challenge and are busting on her and is far better than being Mr Nice Guy.

Man, I love the way this was worded! Rep for you!

 

[OneofOne]

This. "He's a nice guy. Just like that guy. You should go talk to him. Here, I'll introduce you guys."

She'll back down and be all "no no no!" and that'll be the end of it. As soon as you throw a spotlight on her little fantasy it ruins it. If you play along that's exactly what she's looking for. It's essentially a sh!t test when it boils right down to it. If you play nice then she loses attraction to you and has a free in with your friend.

Alternatively you could play the a-hole and say she shouldn't get her hopes up because he only dates hot girls. Either way you're still the challenge and are busting on her and is far better than being Mr Nice Guy.

I like that! Thanks!

 

[jophil28]

...she started probing about whether he was single or not, I just said "Hey, why don't you just call him and ask him yourself?" I knew at that point, I was done already, so I gave her his number.

What would you have done in this situation?

I would have said this ," My boy is kind of real picky, much like I am, but he will probably find you moderately attractive. Here is his #. Oh BTW do you have a hotter sister ?

Said with a sly grin..

 

[KontrollerX]

I only make friends with extremely loyal dudes who have no trouble getting their own women.

What I would've done for this kind of disrespect is simply looked at her with disgust and silently walked away.

There would be no giving her phone numbers first.

I'd then tell my buddy all about the disrespectful cvnt asking about him and direspecting me in the process and out of respect for me his friend as well his own ability to generate far better options the disrespectful cvnt would lose her chance with my buddy as well.

Thats how it should be done when a b!tch leads you on for weeks as she did.

If its a situation where you are out at a bar with a buddy and a chick you are talking to digs your friend more than you then hey go ahead and introduce her to him if you want.

See this bar scenario is fine as the hypothetical chick in this bar scenario of mine isn't leading you on for weeks as the chick in your actual scenario did just to get close to her real target.