"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Girl Stayed the Night, but...

Drowning

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Alright, I met this chick in one of my classes this quarter and just recently got to really talking to her. (I was hooking up with two other chicks up to this point, but I got bored with them.) We chatted, I got her number, and invited her to tag along to go see a movie the college is showing.

I put my arm around her during the movie, crack a few jokes about it, but it's really crowded and not a good atmosphere for anything else. Afterwards, we're walking back with my arm around her and I get her to come back to my room. We talk, flirt, and when I go in for the kiss she tells me she has a BOYFRIEND.

I ask her if she's happy, and she can't give me a straight answer. (In other words, no.) But I settle down for the moment. Eventually, we make it to pretty much spooning on my bed to watch a late night talk show with me keeping up good kino and flirting with her.

Eventually, she takes a "nap" which is basically her in to stay the night without flat out asking me. (I did make sure she wanted to stay before I turned the lights out.) I let her borrow a pair of boxers and a tee-shirt and she gets comfortable and has no problem cuddling and **** with me but when I try to kiss her she blocks me AGAIN. Now, I'm usually pretty good at taking down the shields, but this girl is just not having it. Eventually I get frustrated and turn over.

She asks me what's wrong and I just look at her like she's stupid. I mean, look at where she is! She tries to block me in by saying that I'd be mad if my girlfriend hooked up with some guy like this, but I responded by saying that if she really cared about what her boyfriend thought she wouldn't be in my bed in the first place. She says, "Do you think I don't want to? I do, but it's wrong...blah blah blah."

I try to go to sleep, but she's awake now and keeps me up half the night talking about random **** and flirting with me and girl-punching me when I tease her and even rolling on top of me several times. I'm fed up with her ****, so I go to sleep.

Next day I go to a party and don't call or anything. She sends me a text message telling me she had fun last night "Nighty night!" I don't answer it.

We've talked once since then, mostly rapport building, and when her boyfriend called she ignored it. (****er called like fifteen times.) Now, I'm thinking she's just trying to get comfortable with me or making sure I'm not just in it to get some ass or whatever, but at the same time I'm rapidly coming to the conclusion that it's not worth it.

What the hell is up with this chick? Does she want me or is she just trying to lead me along?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Bill

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Originally posted by Drowning
She says, "Do you think I don't want to? I do, but it's wrong...blah blah blah."
She just wants you to know it's not gonna be her fault when she'll finally give in. If she really cared about her bf and her relation with him, she wouldn't have slept in your bed in the first place.

Typical woman non-sense.

-Bill
 

sapphire

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I have dealt with this before.

Either she sees you as a friend and tampon or is on the fence with regard to her BF and feels guilty in taking things further.

I say, cut her off completely. No calls, e-mails, etc. It is called Ganji where you simply cut off all contact with a girl when she starts acting flakey and what not with the purpose of making her crawl back to you giving you power in a relationship.

If she tries to contact you again which I am pretty confident she will, let her know that you will not put up with her nonsense in the future otherwise it is hasta la vista baby.
 

ER!C L!VE

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yeps.

Unless she utters the word, 'NO', you keep try to get her nekid. Dude, especially when she's in your bed.

Seems like you coulda nailed her when she was rolling on top of you later in the night.

Did you try again?

EDIT: Yes, she's into you and not her 'boyfriend'. Chicks are so flighty at younger ages. You've got the green light, but you don't seem that interested in her...
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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OneArmDeeJay

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You had your chance and you blew it.

Seriously if she really cared about this guy she wouldn’t be in your bed.

You should have just ignored her words and went with her actions.

She was In your bed rolling on top of you’ll playfully fighting you.

She says she doesn’t want it but that’ s just to let you think she’s not some cheating *****.

And you bought it, which really you shouldn’t of.

And I hope you’re just in it for the sex and not an LTR cause she’s definitely not a keeper.
 

The Bad Ass Canadian

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And I hope you’re just in it for the sex and not an LTR cause she’s definitely not a keeper.
:yes:


She was simply putting up some last minute resistance. You shoulda kept trying, and I figure she would have eventually given in.

The fact that she's been trying to talk to you since then shows that you didn't completely blow it... but that you gotta make another move next time and if she withdraws, cut her off completely and let her know that you won't put up with that sh!t.
 

Drowning

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If I made it sound like I only tried to get into her pants once during the time she was in my room, I apologize. I tried at least three or four times. I probably should have pushed it a bit more, though.

As for cutting her off, I'm kind of having it done for me since it's Thanksgiving/Christmas vacation coming up. I just won't call her while I'm at home and see how things go when we get back to college.
 

OneArmDeeJay

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Originally posted by Drowning
If I made it sound like I only tried to get into her pants once during the time she was in my room, I apologize. I tried at least three or four times. I probably should have pushed it a bit more, though....

:eek:

OH MY GOD…….

I can’t believe you apologize for even one time.

:down:

You should have NEVER apologized. :down:

When a woman is up on a bed SPOONING with you or just in a bed period with you,
You SHOULD try to make a move on her whether your goal depending on morals to make out or get into her pants.

You should NEVER apologize for being a man.

My god, don’t be gay.

Take hold of what you want.
 

Drowning

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...What? Dude, read my last post again.

I never apologize for what I want.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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