"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Girl situation, need feedback and comments :)

Bourne

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So some of you may know me and read some of my stuff but here I am with a question and situation.

Last 6 months or so I've been out and about getting laid, having fun and staying away from anything that involved commitment. I've met a few girls in the course of that, that I could consider for something more then fvck buddy or friend status but not many.

Last 1 month or so I've met a girl. At first it started as sort of friends without actually meeting her even though we are at the same school we started to chat online. Recently we started to hang out.

I am 25 and she is 23. Today, last night we hung out and through drinking it became apparent she likes me more then friends. She got close to me and hand holding and the such. Now I would have been aggressive to begin with but I knew she had a boyfriend in another state and I decided not to pursue as much. Now I only hung out with her 2-3 times and I didn't really express myself as a friend only, there was always some tension and chemistry there and I didn't let that slide and not be there. I did like her from the start but cause of her boyfriend I didn't really pursue and went after other girls. Now I feel like after what happened last night I perhaps want to see where and if it goes further.

One thing I want you to understand. This is not we are friends and I want something more situation. This is we both feel that there is something there situation but I have to play my cards right in order to secure her and have her. Being that she has a boyfriend and that she is rather conservative how do I approach this situation without freaking her out or being a chump and expressing myself to her, because I will NOT do that. I will only do that through action. So what are the steps or tips I should do in order to pursue that into more then what it is now. I will lead and risk whatever I have with her now, I have no fear of that. Because she will not lead and take responsibiltiy of leaving her b/f on her I have to take charge.

Am I too much over my head? Tips? Comments?

Thanks.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Crowes

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Bourne said:
One thing I want you to understand. This is not we are friends and I want something more situation. This is we both feel that there is something there situation but I have to play my cards right in order to secure her and have her. Being that she has a boyfriend and that she is rather conservative how do I approach this situation without freaking her out
"Secure and have her" Forget this way of thinking. That is #1.
Really this is simple, get her ALONE, and fvck her. I'm not quite sure I understand your problem here, so please feel free to post more details if I'm missing something. The BF, maybe? What exactly?
 

Bourne

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Yeah you are right about that. Agreed.

What I am in trouble of figuring out is how do I approach this from what angle. I'm not worried about her b/f. He is in another state and college seems like a new chapter in someone's life. So since I've got decent at attracting woman how do I keep and what do I do to not become what I once was. Days of AFC.

How do I keep from fvcking up, keep doing what I am doing and not falling back on what felt comfortable for me 2-7 years ago because thats all I knew. Which was wrong way to go about in my past relationships.
 

Latinoman

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Don't talk...simply kiss her.

If possible phuck her too.

Do the "talking" later.
 

squirrels

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Crowes said:
"Secure and have her" Forget this way of thinking. That is #1.
This is KEY.

You cannot "secure" a woman for yourself. In fact, even if you could, would you WANT a woman that you had to somehow lock down and keep an eye on?

Act without laying claim. Your attitude and behavior as a desirable mate will attract her to you and keep her "in orbit".

As for the boyfriend...hey, if she's acting like she DOESN'T have a man, then TREAT her that way. If YOU act scared of creating an awkward situation due to her having a man, she will take that cue from you and ALSO feel awkward about it.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Bourne

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I like your quote from Ortiz.

Well this shall be interesting.

I will pursue, I will act when the circustances present themselves.

Should I keep my hands off policy? Show interest? Value? Be unavalaible? This is challenging and I like it.
 

whistler

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Bourne said:
Should I keep my hands off policy? Show interest? Value? Be unavalaible? This is challenging and I like it.
Hands off or not is a personal value choice.

You should play the rest as always... make her undersatnd that she's not the 1st priority in your life.
 
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