A little over a month ago I was introduced to a new girl at a cookout at a friend’s apartment. The cookout was fun and I got her number and asked her to lunch. She emailed me the following Monday and we chatted back and forth a little bit until I called her mid week. We talked for a bit and got to know each other better, I let her do most of the talking. Anyway I had thought we hit it off.
I had lunch with a mutual friend and asked him about her. He told me that she was pretty much known for mixed signals. I asked him how, if possible, I could get out of the friendzone that I thought I was in. He said that I needed to change up my game and become more of a challenge. (Much like the articles here). I decided to take his advice.
We finally got around to having dinner instead of lunch and had a great time. I let some time pass without calling her/emaling her and asked her to lunch on a Friday.
After lunch I didn’t reply to her emails. Sunday afternoon I got a call from her asking me how my weekend was etc. We talked for a bit. She called me again that night before she went to bed. I was smiling because this whole challenge thing worked – since I got her calling!
The following day (Monday) I asked her to join me for a major league baseball game. She said yes. The next day I called and talked with her for a while and told her I’d pick her up for the game. Prior to picking her up I set up a playlist on my ipod based on the kind of music we had talked about and had in common. It made for a more relaxed and fun atmosphere for the ride down to the stadium. Here’s where things started to get tricky….
She mentioned that earlier in the week a guyfriend of hers who is part of her crew asked her to join him for dinner. She agreed and told me that she didn’t think it was a date but realized it was when she got there. Apparently it was a high end Brazilian restaurant. She then goes on to tell me that since that dinner the guy did not call her and has been responding with one word emails to her emails. I’m thinking to myself that this guy is working the same challenge strategy and it is working. She then goes on to tell me that she’s curious about him now. I tell her it’s a game and then change the topic to something else. We arrive at the stadium way before our friends get there so we take a seat on the bench and I proceed to flirt with her. Eventually our group got to the - some people chose lower end seats whereas 2 of my guyfriends and I decided to pay a little extra to sit field. This was good because this other guy who I knew she had hooked up with previously was also there. I was pissed to see him but was cordial and was very glad that he was part of the group that went to the non-field seats.
At the game we were flirting really heavily with each other and had a GREAT time. There was one problem though. When my guyfriends left to get food/give us room we not only flirted more but also she brought up the guy who she had hooked up with a month prior. She had asked me about him at the first dinner and I clearly told her that I didn’t have nice things to say about him and that I would like our relationship to be solely based on our interaction. So when she brought up the same guy at the game I said that she should ask other people. She said she had been asking around and no one would tell about the dark side of this guy. Eventually I was able to change the subject and we got back to having a good time. My guyfriends came back with food and she and I shared fries and a quesadilla. Every now and then I notice that she’s checking her phone and is texting someone. I take a sneaky glance and find that she’s texting the assmonkey who is sitting somewhere upstairs. Very shady. She said that she wanted to go to the bar overlooking the stadium. I knew why. I saw her texting him to meet there. I say that I don’t really want to go. She knew I knew that he was going to be there. I was stubborn for a while but at the 7th inning my guyfriends said that they were going to head home. So she took this opportunity to ask me again and I said “whatever†and so we all walked to the bar overlooking the stadium. When we got there she got a text from him saying that he wasn’t coming. On the walk over there I was thinking to myself “where the hell is this date going?â€. I smirked and she caught me. She said to me “you’re happy they’re not coming, aren’t u?†I said “no im smiling cuz we left our field level seats for this!†We all decided that since we were already at the front of the stadium to just leave. She and I walked back to my car and talked… in the middle of our walk she forced what I thought of the ******* out of me. I didn’t say much but I gave her enough to keep her quiet. I changed the topic and stop to buy bottled water from a street vendor. She didn’t notice that I got her one too and when I gave it to her she says to me “you’re so sweet.†When we got to the car I opened the door for her (I had been doing so the entire night) and she says “I’ve never met a guy like you.†I smile and close the door. Free Fallin’ starts up on my ipod when I power up the car and she says to raise the volume since this is one of her favorite songs. She sings to it as I drive back towards downtown. I say to her “I’ve got an idea… let’s go to [this dessert/coffeehouse/bar]†she gets excited and says “I haven’t been there in ages!†We got to the coffeehouse/bar place and she ordered a chocolate cheesecake from the selection and I ordered two glasses of Riesling to pair with the dessert. We had a great night overall minus a few hitches. I told her that I had an invitation to an exclusive wine tasting event downtown and asked her to go. To which she immediately accepted. I could bring up stuff we had talked about at the first dinner, lunch, phone calls. She said “wow you really do listen.†I knew I had scored points and I knew that things went really well that night. I dropped her back at her car and went home.
The next day I got an email early in the morning thanking me for the baseball game that she had fun. I called her that night and we talked before she went to bed. Since the game we’ve talking nearly everynight back and forth. However just a few days ago (Friday, September 30th) she told me that the guy who asked her to go to dinner was at a get together the previous night and asked her to go suit shopping with him and that they were going to go Sunday. I let it slide and talked to her about other stuff and had a good conversation. Over the weekend I met up with my buddies and filled them in on what was going on and why the hell this girl would tell me about other guys! It was pissing me off because she knows I like her and I was sure she was interested in me because she was calling me, taking my calls, emailing me, replying to my emails, and accepting dates with me. My friend told me that I should stand up and say that I don’t want to hear about her and other guys. So Sunday night when she calls me she mentions that she wasn’t able to go shopping with him or go to dinner with me at the pizza place. Didn’t bother me and we had a good fun talk until she brought up some OTHER guy. At this point I stopped her and said “I really don’t want to hear about you and other guys.†She says “uhh… why?†I reply “why would I want to hear that?†she says “uhhh… okay anyway†and then changes the topic. I ended the call on a high note but I am still confused as to why she wants to talk about other guys when she knows I like her and when she’s showing interest.
The day before yesterday (Monday) I call her after my workout. She also had worked out and was about to take a shower and said she’d call me right back. She did and we talked for an hour before she went to bed. It was GREAT. No other guys came up and I really thought she heeded my request.
Yesterday is a different story… We talked for half an hour before she went to bed. She mentioned that she got home late. Being an investment banking analyst she occasionally pulls very long hours. I asked her if she was working late? She says that she went shopping with the suit guy, went to dinner with him at a high end seafood restaurant, and then rode in his convertible and gazed at the stars. I’m pissed to hear this and I start to give one word responses like that's nice. fun. uh huh. and we move on to something else. then later in the same convo we get back to shopping and what she bought for herself. she said that she got earrings at Wet Seal and that's there's a funny story behind it. then she goes "but you dont want to hear it." and i say "because it's about the guy?" and she says "Yeah" and then i say "you're right, i don't want to hear it." and we continue talking about other, more pleasant stuff.
I dont deserve this... it's not fair and it's not right. Now previously my experience would tell that she’s trying to get a message across. But if she’s trying to get a message that she's not interested then why does she call, accept my calls, email, reply to my email, and go on dates with me?
My friends have offered this advice: a girl will talk about another guy being interested in them to make herself seem more desireable... to make you a little jealous....and to tell you that "she's hot stuff...make a move now or lose it"
What do you guys think?
Confused about what’s up with this girl…
- ND
I had lunch with a mutual friend and asked him about her. He told me that she was pretty much known for mixed signals. I asked him how, if possible, I could get out of the friendzone that I thought I was in. He said that I needed to change up my game and become more of a challenge. (Much like the articles here). I decided to take his advice.
We finally got around to having dinner instead of lunch and had a great time. I let some time pass without calling her/emaling her and asked her to lunch on a Friday.
After lunch I didn’t reply to her emails. Sunday afternoon I got a call from her asking me how my weekend was etc. We talked for a bit. She called me again that night before she went to bed. I was smiling because this whole challenge thing worked – since I got her calling!
The following day (Monday) I asked her to join me for a major league baseball game. She said yes. The next day I called and talked with her for a while and told her I’d pick her up for the game. Prior to picking her up I set up a playlist on my ipod based on the kind of music we had talked about and had in common. It made for a more relaxed and fun atmosphere for the ride down to the stadium. Here’s where things started to get tricky….
She mentioned that earlier in the week a guyfriend of hers who is part of her crew asked her to join him for dinner. She agreed and told me that she didn’t think it was a date but realized it was when she got there. Apparently it was a high end Brazilian restaurant. She then goes on to tell me that since that dinner the guy did not call her and has been responding with one word emails to her emails. I’m thinking to myself that this guy is working the same challenge strategy and it is working. She then goes on to tell me that she’s curious about him now. I tell her it’s a game and then change the topic to something else. We arrive at the stadium way before our friends get there so we take a seat on the bench and I proceed to flirt with her. Eventually our group got to the - some people chose lower end seats whereas 2 of my guyfriends and I decided to pay a little extra to sit field. This was good because this other guy who I knew she had hooked up with previously was also there. I was pissed to see him but was cordial and was very glad that he was part of the group that went to the non-field seats.
At the game we were flirting really heavily with each other and had a GREAT time. There was one problem though. When my guyfriends left to get food/give us room we not only flirted more but also she brought up the guy who she had hooked up with a month prior. She had asked me about him at the first dinner and I clearly told her that I didn’t have nice things to say about him and that I would like our relationship to be solely based on our interaction. So when she brought up the same guy at the game I said that she should ask other people. She said she had been asking around and no one would tell about the dark side of this guy. Eventually I was able to change the subject and we got back to having a good time. My guyfriends came back with food and she and I shared fries and a quesadilla. Every now and then I notice that she’s checking her phone and is texting someone. I take a sneaky glance and find that she’s texting the assmonkey who is sitting somewhere upstairs. Very shady. She said that she wanted to go to the bar overlooking the stadium. I knew why. I saw her texting him to meet there. I say that I don’t really want to go. She knew I knew that he was going to be there. I was stubborn for a while but at the 7th inning my guyfriends said that they were going to head home. So she took this opportunity to ask me again and I said “whatever†and so we all walked to the bar overlooking the stadium. When we got there she got a text from him saying that he wasn’t coming. On the walk over there I was thinking to myself “where the hell is this date going?â€. I smirked and she caught me. She said to me “you’re happy they’re not coming, aren’t u?†I said “no im smiling cuz we left our field level seats for this!†We all decided that since we were already at the front of the stadium to just leave. She and I walked back to my car and talked… in the middle of our walk she forced what I thought of the ******* out of me. I didn’t say much but I gave her enough to keep her quiet. I changed the topic and stop to buy bottled water from a street vendor. She didn’t notice that I got her one too and when I gave it to her she says to me “you’re so sweet.†When we got to the car I opened the door for her (I had been doing so the entire night) and she says “I’ve never met a guy like you.†I smile and close the door. Free Fallin’ starts up on my ipod when I power up the car and she says to raise the volume since this is one of her favorite songs. She sings to it as I drive back towards downtown. I say to her “I’ve got an idea… let’s go to [this dessert/coffeehouse/bar]†she gets excited and says “I haven’t been there in ages!†We got to the coffeehouse/bar place and she ordered a chocolate cheesecake from the selection and I ordered two glasses of Riesling to pair with the dessert. We had a great night overall minus a few hitches. I told her that I had an invitation to an exclusive wine tasting event downtown and asked her to go. To which she immediately accepted. I could bring up stuff we had talked about at the first dinner, lunch, phone calls. She said “wow you really do listen.†I knew I had scored points and I knew that things went really well that night. I dropped her back at her car and went home.
The next day I got an email early in the morning thanking me for the baseball game that she had fun. I called her that night and we talked before she went to bed. Since the game we’ve talking nearly everynight back and forth. However just a few days ago (Friday, September 30th) she told me that the guy who asked her to go to dinner was at a get together the previous night and asked her to go suit shopping with him and that they were going to go Sunday. I let it slide and talked to her about other stuff and had a good conversation. Over the weekend I met up with my buddies and filled them in on what was going on and why the hell this girl would tell me about other guys! It was pissing me off because she knows I like her and I was sure she was interested in me because she was calling me, taking my calls, emailing me, replying to my emails, and accepting dates with me. My friend told me that I should stand up and say that I don’t want to hear about her and other guys. So Sunday night when she calls me she mentions that she wasn’t able to go shopping with him or go to dinner with me at the pizza place. Didn’t bother me and we had a good fun talk until she brought up some OTHER guy. At this point I stopped her and said “I really don’t want to hear about you and other guys.†She says “uhh… why?†I reply “why would I want to hear that?†she says “uhhh… okay anyway†and then changes the topic. I ended the call on a high note but I am still confused as to why she wants to talk about other guys when she knows I like her and when she’s showing interest.
The day before yesterday (Monday) I call her after my workout. She also had worked out and was about to take a shower and said she’d call me right back. She did and we talked for an hour before she went to bed. It was GREAT. No other guys came up and I really thought she heeded my request.
Yesterday is a different story… We talked for half an hour before she went to bed. She mentioned that she got home late. Being an investment banking analyst she occasionally pulls very long hours. I asked her if she was working late? She says that she went shopping with the suit guy, went to dinner with him at a high end seafood restaurant, and then rode in his convertible and gazed at the stars. I’m pissed to hear this and I start to give one word responses like that's nice. fun. uh huh. and we move on to something else. then later in the same convo we get back to shopping and what she bought for herself. she said that she got earrings at Wet Seal and that's there's a funny story behind it. then she goes "but you dont want to hear it." and i say "because it's about the guy?" and she says "Yeah" and then i say "you're right, i don't want to hear it." and we continue talking about other, more pleasant stuff.
I dont deserve this... it's not fair and it's not right. Now previously my experience would tell that she’s trying to get a message across. But if she’s trying to get a message that she's not interested then why does she call, accept my calls, email, reply to my email, and go on dates with me?
My friends have offered this advice: a girl will talk about another guy being interested in them to make herself seem more desireable... to make you a little jealous....and to tell you that "she's hot stuff...make a move now or lose it"
What do you guys think?
Confused about what’s up with this girl…
- ND
