Girl sending mixed signals - HELP?

[OnTheHouse]

Alright guys, I am a 26 year old design engineer and the secretary at my work has been sending mixed signals.

When she was first hired here she would never talk to me or greet me in the mornings but then things took a complete U-turn. After I opened up to her a little she goes out of her way to greet me in the mornings but often times will not greet coworkers of mine.

On several occasions she has walked into the engineering room and will toss me a bag of cookies or something in front of everyone else, but not give any to anyone else in the room. We don't conversate that much outside of the simple small talk in the mornings.

She came into my room today to greet me and start a conversation and her body language appeared to show interest (scratching her side and shoulders while talking to me). Then today when I got back from lunch I found a sticky note on my desk that said "green tea cookies" with some cookies on top of it - again nobody else got any. Im wondering if she did it just because I threw her some candy the other day or if she has some sort of feelings towards me.

So as I'm eating the cookies I walked over to her desk to thank her and ask where she got them and stuff and she didn't even turn to look at me and gave short answers.

I don't know what to think about all this? Am I reading into it too much and she's just being friendly? I am somewhat attracted to her myself but don't want to make a move unless I'm sure she feels the same.

Help Please?

 

[Iceberg]

I dislike questions like this because the guy is trying to get answers in the safest, most passive way possible.

Here's what I do when I'm in a situation where I don't want to, or cannot directly ask the girl out. I'll talk to the girl socially....about things I've done for fun over the weekend. Maybe a nice happy hour I go to. Bars. Activities. Etc.

Then eventually I just invite her to come with me. Not a date. Just, "Hey, lets get a drink."

Then you'll have her outside of the work environment, and you'll have a few drinks, and you'll be in a position to see if she's feeling you or not.

It's significantly better than trying to read body language and evaluate her sexual interest by the fact that she brings you cookies.

So eventually, you just have to do something. You can't play this game from the sideline. Yeah, I know you're too shy to just ask her out. So, fine, just be the cool fun guy with an active social life....and then casually invite her to be a part of that.

 

[OnTheWayUp]

I don't know what to think about all this? Am I reading into it too much and she's just being friendly? I am somewhat attracted to her myself but don't want to make a move unless I'm sure she feels the same.

Help Please?

Classic AFC dilemma. Here on SS, we suggest that the way to find out whether she feels the same is to make a move. You won't succeed 100% of the time, even if you are the greatest womaniser of all time, but being rejected is better than not knowing for sure, right? Invite her out for a drink and go in for the kiss when you've built enough rapport. Check out the relevant parts of the DJ bible (scroll down to the bottom left).

 

[OnTheHouse]

Thanks for the tips guys...this is what I was thinking too, basically ask her if shes doing anything exciting over the weekend where I can then lead into asking her to go to dinner/bowling/wherever?

Any suggestions on where to take her in a situation like this?

 

[Johnnyventana]

Her behavior is very odd, especially since this is all happening at work. Whether she likes you or not, who knows. The hot/cold behavior when there has been no dating, just work interaction, is a big red flag. It's not how normal people act at work.

 

[runner83]

Agree with the panel.

Talk with her about stuff you are doing outside of work, ask her what she is planning etc.

If she has a boyfriend (or even if she doesn't but isn't into you) she will mention it.

Of course, goes without saying, if you work with her and your game isn't tight, be bloody careful. The last thing you want is to get accused of s!xual harassment.

This is from a guy who has banged 3 women at work before (one married). Since you see her on a daily basis, you should not go with the usual approach of going all out to see if she is interested by asking her out directly.

Instead think of it as fishing, draw her in a bit day or day, and gradually make it more and more s!xual and flirty - if she is into you and does the same back, then keep escalating.