Girl Saw Me With Another Girl

[ENIGMA16]

So this girl that I'm really into and was going along great with saw me drunk at the bar that she works at hitting on another girl and the other girl apparently grinding up on me. I seriously don't remember this whatsoever, and we aren't going out, we ****ed once and that's it.

The girl won't admit anything is wrong, and claims I didn't do anything that upset her, but ever since then has been flaking on me like mad. Like for example yesterday I texted her saying we should get lunch today, and she was like "YEAH!" but never even responded to me today. I think this girl's pretty cool, and I know that that's the reason she's flaking. Any way I could turn this around and get her to see that I'm serious about getting to know her better and that she's not just some random girl to me?

I know the standard mantra is "NEXT!" but this girl is super cool and we have a ton in common, I think we were really feeling each other until she got weird.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

She's judging you on your actions. How would you feel if you saw her doing the same. Getting drunk, and grinding on a guy. You would probably see her in a different light, because we are all judgemental to a degree.

Stop being immature enough to drink 'till you don't remember your actions, specially at the place your crush works at.

At this point, just stay away for a few days. If she keeps acting weird, then you got no choice but to just forget about her, for the moment. The more they are into you, the more they are willing to overlook. If she's really into you, there is a very good chance she will come around. Give it a little time.

 

[ENIGMA16]

Yeah it was a stupid thing to do, just ended up going out for a friend's birthday and getting too drunk, bad idea haha but we all make mistakes.

PHAT, that's actually a good idea, I think I'm just going to stay in touch sending her flirty texts and sh!t but not really try to set anything up for a few weeks.

I'm not too needy but it sucks when a girl like that gets away from you due to one stupid mistake. I've had 3 other girls over this week so life is pretty good. B-)

 

[scribblec]

wow are all of you guys stupid? theres no way this girl lost interest because he was grinding another girl... if anything that probably lit a fire up under her puszy.

just back off for a bit and it should all work out its not like she was ur gf or anything

 

[Iceberg]

wow are all of you guys stupid? theres no way this girl lost interest because he was grinding another girl... if anything that probably lit a fire up under her puszy.

just back off for a bit and it should all work out its not like she was ur gf or anything

No. They're not stupid.

At first glance, I was thinking along with your theory. Seeing him with another girl would make her more interested/competitive...

But the one thing you realize when you step back from the rules and mantras of this site: people are people. There are no guaranteed formulas. And there is the chance that seeing him drunk and grinding on a random chick did, in fact, leave her with a bad memory.

 

[scribblec]

No. They're not stupid.

At first glance, I was thinking along with your theory. Seeing him with another girl would make her more interested/competitive...

But the one thing you realize when you step back from the rules and mantras of this site: people are people. There are no guaranteed formulas. And there is the chance that seeing him drunk and grinding on a random chick did, in fact, leave her with a bad memory.

nah i know theres no garunteed formulas but if hes saying he was black out drunk then he probably did a few other stupid things at the time and that is what caused her attraction to plummet, if it was his girlfriend and he was grinding a random girl i would understand....


what he probably did was declare his love for her after he grinded this other girl therefor losing interest?

we havent been told the full story because he cant tell the full story

 

[backbreaker]

I know the absoute worst thing you can do is throw the " this girl doesn't mean **** to me, i want to get to know you" line at her.

you aren't dating, so she saw you with another girl? so; the hell what. If she is the type hold that against you, she needs to be nexted for being a ****.

You always have to think in an aggressive mindframe. Tell her well damn, if someone was woman enough to keep me happy I would not be grinding on women at bars lol.

Then proceed to keep grinding on women at bars.

Make her make you stop if that makes any sense.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

Exactly BB. She has to know that you are the provider of incentive; and if she does not earn it, you are open to superior bidders.

Make that hamster spin

 

[ENIGMA16]

nah i know theres no garunteed formulas but if hes saying he was black out drunk then he probably did a few other stupid things at the time and that is what caused her attraction to plummet, if it was his girlfriend and he was grinding a random girl i would understand....

Wasn't black out drunk, just fuzzy memory.

what he probably did was declare his love for her after he grinded this other girl therefor losing interest?

LOL I'm 100% positive I did no such thing, I was hitting on like 10 girls that night at pretty much the same time I hardly talked to her, plus she was working. I had friends there that were more sober that were basically telling me I was in state going from one girl to the next like every two minutes and they were all digging me. I'm not bragging, because frankly I don't think my skillz are that great, but that night I was on point.

Funny thing is that she actually texted me first the next day apologizing for being rude, and claimed it was because everyone was in a bad mood at her work that night. I'm starting to think it was because she was watching me with these other girls but who knows.

Except he just said he's laying 3 girls right now...

And working on 5 others. :rockon:

Anyways, I agree, I think that a lot of the people that are spouting all of this dj stuff in this thread about being super-alpha and whatnot don't really know what they're talking about.

Not all girls are going to act the same, especially to a situation like that. Especially with higher value girls, they'll be more inclined to next you because they're more in demand, so it's like the same situation for them as it is for me.

Anyways, she texted me today regarding how she didn't make it to lunch Sunday by saying "Aghh sorry I left my charger in my friends car so my phones been dead for a while "

It's funny because I'm actually inclined to believe her. This girl has supposedly flaked on me probably 2 out of the past 3 times, but she's always had an excuse and has been proactive in tracking me down afterwards, so I really do seriously think she's not just making sh!t up, she's just like that.

I played it off by telling her how awesome lunch was (beef jerky in bloody mary's!!!!). Haven't made any future plans with her so I'm just gonna text her back and forth on and off for a bit before setting something up.

JLay - something else I caught while reading this...you maybe making this all up in your head and even if you aren't...stop! Girls always follow the guys lead - so if you feel like this incident is a big deal than it's going to be a big deal to her. You yourself need to move past this before you can hope for her to. In practical terms - learn to think about the moment and what's going on now when you're contacting her rather than what happened in the past.

Hey man thanks for the input, you're right I do think I have some desperation seeping into this and need to learn to stop being so needy about it. I'm going to probably set something up in a week or two and if she flakes again I'm gonna go cold on her for a bit, she really needs to be taught to cut this sh!t out, even if it is legitimate excuses.

 

[scribblec]

Except he just said he's laying 3 girls right now...I get the feeling you maybe a KBJ no?

JLay - something else I caught while reading this...you maybe making this all up in your head and even if you aren't...stop! Girls always follow the guys lead - so if you feel like this incident is a big deal than it's going to be a big deal to her. You yourself need to move past this before you can hope for her to. In practical terms - learn to think about the moment and what's going on now when you're contacting her rather than what happened in the past.

erm i wouldnt call myself a KBJ no, i was just trying to find out why this girl would lose interest for a reason which should raise her interest....

i dont post very often and im only trying to help i didnt read the fact hes laying 3 girls right now but whatever, all i see is that this chick is flaking on u constantly and then when u back off she comes running back... and yet you still think her excuses are legit?

ive had girls drop doctors appointments, family dinners, and other random junk excuses girls give just to spend that time with me, when a chick wants to get fked she will find a way to get fked.

she left her charger in her friends car and so didnt have a fone?? ahahhahaha this is bull**** excuse and call me a KBJ all u want but when a chick drops this **** she needs to get dropped. the only thing keeping her interested is your non reaction to her flakes

 

[Pimp-sicle]

erm i wouldnt call myself a KBJ no, i was just trying to find out why this girl would lose interest for a reason which should raise her interest....

i dont post very often and im only trying to help i didnt read the fact hes laying 3 girls right now but whatever, all i see is that this chick is flaking on u constantly and then when u back off she comes running back... and yet you still think her excuses are legit?

ive had girls drop doctors appointments, family dinners, and other random junk excuses girls give just to spend that time with me, when a chick wants to get fked she will find a way to get fked.

she left her charger in her friends car and so didnt have a fone?? ahahhahaha this is bull**** excuse and call me a KBJ all u want but when a chick drops this **** she needs to get dropped. the only thing keeping her interested is your non reaction to her flakes

I completely agree with Scribble.... some of you guys need to understand the dynamic of the situation.

JLay f-ed this chick once and they have hung out a few times, this is far from leading to a serious relationship at this point.

Furthermore, when your out drinking at the bars and you grind with another girl, that's a big difference from making out, f-closing etc etc......I'm not saying to use alcohol as an excuse, but in this situation its pretty clear that the atmosphere and drinks played a huge role into his behavior as he has clearly admitted he tends to over-thinking in normal situations.

And as far as her reasons for flaking.....they are definitely BS! However, what's happening is she does have solid interest in him, so after some time has past, she ends up feeling retarded for being upset over something that's so minor. And again, they aren't exclusive so she really has no right to be upset. Somewhere deep in her female psyche it is elevating her attraction for him. Also its not like he does this in front of her all the time, it looks like it was an isolated incident and in my opinion will play into his favor in the long run.

Its true, she doesn't want to feel like she's just another girl on his list, she's attempting to punish him by flaking or canceling on their scheduled dates then feeding him some bs excuse.

Sure she might have forgot her phone charger in the car, but the bottom line is if that date was important to her, she would have found a way to get over to her friend's car and get her charger so she didn't miss his text/call. At the moment she's letting her ego get in the way and acting like she doesn't care, when she clearly does.

JLay your fine bro, just freeze her out for a couple days and she will be the returning fox. As Backbreaker already said, the worst thing to do in this situation would be to start calling/texting her more and telling her anything regarding how much you like her or want to get to know her more.

This situation in my opinion has a lot more to do with her insecurities and assumptions of what JLay is up to, then anything he did "wrong."


EDIT: Scribb tried to rep you but I need to spread the love first according to Sosuave...LOL



PIMP

 

[ENIGMA16]

Hahaha, so I had this other girl over for the night, and she spent the morning, and we were hungry so we ordered Jimmy Johns, and the fvcking flake delivers the food to us! My girl's paying, too, so here I am between the two of them working out the money situation, it was fvcking hilarious.

Anyways, flake seems not too bothered by it, I flirt with her for a bit then she leaves. I call her later that day to make plans with her (the flake). So I set up plans to see her at the bar that night, we also make plans to get dinner tonight. I see her at the bar and she's working, then she gets off but is with a drunk friend who she has to babysit so she can't come over, whatever, he actually was pretty drunk and alone so it could've been legit (AGAIN).

Today rolls around and I call her and get no response whatsoever. Not even an excuse this time. Sucks because this girl was cool, and it's somewhat confusing because she made plans with me (she was the one that offered to get dinner tonight) then flakes on them. Like, I made sure that she was the one that offered the time to see if she was even interested. So she straight up flakes like crazy on me, doesn't respond to the one text I sent her and haven't heard since.

Thinking this girl's gotta be nexted. Sucks but oh well, rules are rules. Why do you guys think this happened? Anything I could do to turn it around? Only thing I can think of is not talk to her for a longass time then reinitiate and try again. I'm not holding my breath, obviously, but she was definitely relationship material aside from the flaking.

 

[IamJosan]

This could be one of those situations where you forget about the girl, then half a year later she hits you up and wants to kick it. For example, the other night I missed a call from a girl I was seeing last summer. Hadn't heard from her in months, and the other night she called me at like 4am.

They always come back.