Girl said she doesn't want kids

[B-Real]

I've been dating this girl for a little while now and ever since she met me she told me right off the bat that she doesnt want her own kids. She said she wants to adopt.

I can understand why I guess with all the orphans in the world and the world being over populated and all but I have always wanted to have my own kids.
So we were on the phone last night and something brought this subject up.
She was wondering why we are even together and trying to build a relationship if we both know that we can't get married and have kids because she wants to adopt and I don't.

So what should we do? I mean should we continue what we have now? I mean by no means am I anywhere ready for a kid neither is she. We both have several years of school left. I just wonder if there is any need of continuing a relationship.

 

[juice veteran]

you want kids she doesnt. how can you reconcile that? adoption, fostering, etc

if you cant reconcile that then enjoy your time together but make it clear what you want and understand that if you both cant reach a compromise then the relationship is limited

 

[strey]

jesus man

let it go. you don't want a kid trust me, and if you are still in school, you are asking for a death wish. a kid is a money hole. your life will be over, coz every waking moment will be dedicated to it. dont let your girl give you crap.

 

[PhatE1vis]

Since you're both a few years away from having kids, I suggest that you continue with the relationship. People's feelings evolve, and so too may yours or hers on the whole kid issue.

I'm guessing she's what, early 20s? Women are hardly settled at that age.

Just enjoy your time with her, knowing that someday it may come to an end.

 

[comic_relief]

Since you're both a few years away from having kids, I suggest that you continue with the relationship. People's feelings evolve, and so too may yours or hers on the whole kid issue.

I'm guessing she's what, early 20s? Women are hardly settled at that age.

Just enjoy your time with her, knowing that someday it may come to an end.

excellent advice

comic_relief

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Yeah, stay with her. Maybe you can change her mind if you're lucky. It's only take a couple, maybe three or four or five or six years; possibly more. Hell, it may never happen but you're young and have a ton of years ahead of 'ya. You may get lucky, you have a chance. Do you play the lottery?

By the way, she could make you change your mind in that time frame, couldn't she? She's always wanted to adopt, you could change your mind, right?

 

[DonGorgon]

2 things.

1. she is concerned about her looks and does not want pregnancy to reduce her attractiveness -BAD SIGN

2. Modern people are finding it hard enough to take proper care of their own biological kids adoption makes the situation 10Xs more difficult ...

 

[DonGorgon]

An I agree with the poster who said avoid kids cause they are a life ending money pit...LOL so true so I will not be having any... The economy is bad and life is to expensive and stressful as is...

 

[DJDamage]

Correct me if I am wrong but you are not getting married to this girl anytime soon so why even worry about it?!

Who gives a sh1t if she wants kids of her own or not. Have your fun with her and don't think too much ahead.

I can understand why I guess with all the orphans in the world and the world being over populated and all but I have always wanted to have my own kids.

You have every right to want your own kids.

Be wary of marrying a woman who doesn't want a traditional motherhood. Her reasons could stem from watching celebrities doing it and you are going to end up like Brad Pitt chump being dragged all over the world and raising some other man's babies just because its the "in" thing to do.

 

[DonGorgon]

KIds = (YOU - $ + YOU - FUN)

 

[KontrollerX]

You can't reconcile this unless one of you just decides to drop what you want in favor of what the other person wants.

A woman that wants to adopt but doesn't want to make kids of her own makes perfect sense in my opinion.

Having children can destroy a woman's figure permaneantly.

She's making a good decision to not want any kids of her own if you ask me.

Anyway don't do some stupid sh!t like continuing this relationship long term and thinking you can change her mind on this.

You won't and you two will eventually get the bitter divorce and all the bad things that this entails.

 

[young_gun]

At 22 years old, is a kid really what you want right now? Enjoy your 20's!!

You shouldn't break up with her because of this, but don't think about having kids at this stage in your life. You have the rest of your life to worry about your kids!

 

[DonGorgon]

Most people with kids are always complaining about money....LOL

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Most people with kids are always complaining about money....LOL

http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/collegeandfamily/raisekids/p37245.asp

 

[DonGorgon]

TEH FUNNIEST THING IS WHEN I SEE POEPLE WHO CANT AFORD A HOUSE OR A CAR SITTING THE BUSS STOP WITH 3 KIDS.... I dont know what some people are thinking

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

TEH FUNNIEST THING IS WHEN I SEE POEPLE WHO CANT AFORD A HOUSE OR A CAR SITTING THE BUSS STOP WITH 3 KIDS.... I dont know what some people are thinking

Bet that they have premium cable though!

 

[DonGorgon]

My new rule about having kids:

ONLY HAVE KIDS IF YOU CAN AFFORD THEM WHEN YOU ARE ALIVE AND CAN LEAVE THEM SOMETHING WHEN YOU DIE.

 

[B-Real]

Thanks alot guys for all the advice. I agree, we are worrying WAY to far in advance and I think that with that over our heads things may not be to their full potential.

And like some of you said ENJOY YOUR 20'S.. I think thats a darn great idea. I just think about things too much and so does she. She may change her outlook, and it would be selfish of me to say that I wouldn't ever change mine.

 

[BMX]

My ex told me the 2nd day we were together that she wanted 2 kids and to adopt a 3rd. That was scary and she turned out to be very self-centered, so I eventually pulled the plug on her. Please do enjoy yourself while u can.

 

[meitenesrigas]

a man shouldn't think about having a kid until he is at least 40. for most this will mean leaving America, but it is the smartest thing you can do. marry a 19 year old and settle down once you mature. if you have a kid before 40 you will end up like one of the pathetic suckers who visit the mature forum.