"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Girl rejected me, and now she wants to patch things up...yeah right.

j8snx1

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I'd like you older DJ's to give me your feedback on this:

I'm a little annoyed about this AFC girl.

Scenario:

This HB 6.5 bought me a Christmas gift (a shirt) and tells me to get it from her soon or later. I had a fuzzy feeling she was doing this in order to get a date with me, and I dated her once before this. I was doing all the DJ material, and I wasn't too sure if I wanted to take things to the next level with her, so I just gave the date a coup de grace by "officially" asking her out with a hangman game (lol that trick is PERFECT i tell you). She hesitates and 3 days later she says "I see us as friends."

Weeks pass by and today, she texts me with these exact words:

Hey Jason.... was just bored.... how you doing? i have a question. do you not wanna hang out and get your shirt i got for you?

It's sort of annoying me how she rejected me, and after I already nexted her, she comes after me. She's obviously using the shirt she bought for me as an excuse to get me to go out with her, but let's be realistic here: once you let go of a good opportunity, it usually doesn't come back. She let go of me, and I consider myself a good opportunity (whether it's ****iness or positive self-image, you decide), so her loss.

I have 3 options:

1) I can just give an excuse that I'm busy through the winter break so she and I can figure something out after the break ends.

2) I can hang out with her just for one day, but my intention would be to simply receive the shirt, and have a little social outing as a fresh breath of air.

3) I can say NO and just call everything off, whether I get the shirt or not.

What do you guys think? (Feel free to give an option outside of mine.)
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Docs

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I would figure out what I wanted for myself, to be or not to be with her. You know the shirt is a prop, but if you deny her, she's gonna be pissed..and sad.

This is the time for one of those 'thank you, but here's the real deal' talks.
 

AmIAFC

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Look, man. You wanted the relationship to be operated under YOUR terms, and she rejected you. Now, she wants to hang out with you in an attempt to re-establish the relationship under HER terms...with you being her buddy.

Think about that for a second.

The female doesn't dictate the flow of the relationship, you do. If she doesn't like it, then move on. You're the man.

Get the shirt, give it as a present to your brother or something (or hell, keep it), then next her.
 

IS|Reinhart

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hmm get the date get the shirt. know her better she mite have 8 or 9's HB's friends!!!!!!!!
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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AmIAFC

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Originally posted by MightyMate
Come there and kiss close. If You success, shes Yours. If not. Go away with smile and **** it.
She LJBF'd him, so how's he going to get anywhere with her so soon? It's over.
 

StringShredder

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Originally posted by AmIAFC
The female doesn't dictate the flow of the relationship, you do.


The female's feelings do dictate the flow of the relationship! If you want to manipulate the relationship, you have to manipulate those feelings.
 

ScrewIt

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how exactly is that girl AFC. Im sure if you did things right on the first date you wouldnt be in this mess now. But hey, there's still plenty of time to redeem yourself....make your moves on the next outing with her.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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j8snx1

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Let me answer some of the questions and reply to the responses here:

- ScrewIt: She's not really AFC but she's not really a female DJ either. She's starting to act AFC around me, such as texting/calling often, sounding desperate to go out with me.

- MightyMate: HAHAHA! No way, I'd rather save a kiss for someone who I ACTUALLY LIKE. But thanks for the tip, I'll be sure to use it as a deal breaker sometime.

- IS|Reinhart: I know some of her friends...and to tell you the truth she doesn't really have HB9 or 10 buddies. Maybe around HB6~7.5.

- wheelin&dealin: HB 6.5 as in...she's sort of cute but her rating went down due to her indecisiveness and her annoying mixed signals.

- Docs: How should I talk to her using the "thanks for the shirt, but here's the real deal" method? Do I say something like...

"Hey _______, I appreciate you getting me this shirt, but let me be serious here and tell you that I see you only as a friend. I already moved on so I think you should just look for other guys. But hey, we're friends so let's just hang out and make this day worth the while as friends."

...during the rendezvous?
 

Docs

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Yes. It's the most effective way to get her to lay off and the least possible way to stop the hurting her (and yourself) the least.

Shit happens
 

j8snx1

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UPDATE:

I texted her right now and told her that I'm busy today (since I'm catching a movie and sleeping @ church with the youth group today). I told her we'll make plans tomorrow.

I plan to use Docs' idea on the whole "thanks for the gift, but let's cut the crap" plan!

Not worried @ all, just actually relieved I can do something to get her off my back =)

Thanks a lot fellas. I'll keep you posted.
 
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