Girl refused my offer for movie night at my place.

escaleraroyal

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Had another HB7.5 20YO on a date a couple of days ago.
This time I ran out of things to say and she was shot testing me, I think I passed most of it and I can't remember what she asked.
The critical moment is when I tried to hold her hand and she told me she was not looking for a relationship. I said I was not looking for a serious relationship and it's OK to date. I think what I said was a little compromising and needy. In the end the date I said I have a few good scary movies at home and if she wanted to see a movie on Thursday (tomorrow). She was OK with the idea. I texted her today noon time to make sure she confirms.
She says "Hey, I don't think I can. Bye".
then I followed up with "Sounds good, don't worry. My schedule is really tight tomorrow as well. I'm heading out of town for a few days with a couple of friends :)".

Looks like I didn't follow up properly in my text or giving out too much info. Oh well. Gotta keep hustling.
 
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Grewd

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In the end the date I said I have a few good scary movies at home and if she wanted to see a movie on Thursday (tomorrow). She was OK with the idea.
She didn't want to reject you in person, that's why today:
She says "Hey, I don't think I can. Bye".
Yeah, they tend to say that when they don't want to see you again.

The entire date was probably as cringe as your last reply, I don't think the petty details you noticed was the actual problem. I think it's probably the overall package.
 

escaleraroyal

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She didn't want to reject you in person, that's why today:

Yeah, they tend to say that when they don't want to see you again.

The entire date was probably as cringe as your last reply, I don't think the petty details you noticed was the actual problem. I think it's probably the overall package.
i dont think it was cringey.
she was not interested in a relationship cause she has to leave the country in 8 months.
 

escaleraroyal

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She didn't want to reject you in person, that's why today:

Yeah, they tend to say that when they don't want to see you again.

The entire date was probably as cringe as your last reply, I don't think the petty details you noticed was the actual problem. I think it's probably the overall package.
will try to send out a value msg in 2 days to see what happens. i like to confirm its over before i delete her.
 
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SoSuave666

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will try to send out a value msg in 2 days to see what happens. i like to confirm its over before i delete her.
Dude. It’s over. It never even started. She knew within the first five minutes she met you that she’d never sleep with you. You got rejected in person (why you trying to hold hands bro?), then you got rejected via text (why did you send a cringe message?) and now you want to get rejected a third time? Delete number, chase other girls.
 

Dash Riprock

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will try to send out a value msg in 2 days to see what happens. i like to confirm its over before i delete her.
OP, she denied your invitation for a date with zero reason. LOW INTEREST. Don't feed her ego and damage yours by chasing. Women who cancel dates always cite a reason and/or offer a counter date if they have any interest (>50%) at all.

You already sent her a lame response. Don't dig your hole deeper and continue to contact her. You'll only look needy and thirsty. Show abundance, IDGAF, and just move on already.

You don't have to delete her number in the event (1-3% chance) she reaches out and wants to make it up to you.

Dude, as an 11-year SS veteran, you should know this stuff.
 

oldmanofthesea

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The others covered the contact/chasing stuff, so I won't repeat it, but something that stood out to me......

How do you run out of things to say on a date? I'd say that's something to work on. I would also guess, based on that comment, that she was putting VERY little effort into the conversation, if it was you who had to keep coming up with everything to say to keep the conversation going. So how did the conversation go? Was it like an interview where you asked her a question, she gave a brief answer and then just stayed silent until you asked the next question? What topics did she bring up?
 
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Grewd

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will try to send out a value msg in 2 days to see what happens. i like to confirm its over before i delete her.
You'll either get no reply or be rejected again, I can guarantee it. This one is already confirmed.

i dont think it was cringey.
she was not interested in a relationship cause she has to leave the country in 8 months.
Then you probably approached the date entirely wrong. If there's no chance she's on a date with you for a relationship and she thinks relationship is what you want (evidenced by her stating that after trying to hold her hand), then of course she will stay away. The only reason she could have been there if not for a potential relationship would have been to fvck. You probably should have been more direct and avoid anything that could signal wanting a relationship, like trying to hold hands. Following it up with asking to watch movies doesn't help, she wants to fvck, not build a relationship.

In short, I think you either sent the wrong signals or in case relationship is what you want then you picked the wrong woman.
 

escaleraroyal

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Dude, as an 11-year SS veteran, you should know this stuff.
I did not know about this. I was always sarging during this 11 years. I just recently started to post.
I have many lays from Daygame but I want more that's why im posting to see if i can still get better.
 

Espi

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I want more that's why im posting to see if i can still get better.

See below. All improvement areas. My advice pertains especially to the early phase of courtship, between dates 1 and 2.

Embrace and welcome awkward silences and pauses in the conversation. Purposefully stop talking and let her attempt to revive the conversation. Listen 80% speak 20%.

Do not seek their approval (i.e. stop trying to pass "sh1t-tests.").

In my opinion a man who attempts to initiate handholding during the first or second date is far more likely to assume the subservient role in the relationship.

Uncertainty/doubt/restraint are essential in the early phase of courtship. Nothing is "ok" because it's still early you don't know her so you have doubts about her.

Stick to this rule 100%: don't make a second date while you're still on the first, even if you get laid.

ran out of things to say

I think I passed most of it

I tried to hold her hand

it's OK to date.

I said I have a few good scary movies at home and if she wanted to see a movie on Thursday (tomorrow).
 
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SeekerOfTheWay

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Your reply should have been “okay, take care!” i don’t agree with no reply and as that actually leaves the ball in her court to come back and it makes it look like it had an impact on you. Move on and be happy!
 
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