Girl pedestalling her Ex-BF/ BF

[HeyPachuco!]

Okay,

I've been speaking to this girl for over a year on and off. Finally getting somehwere with her. For over the year, I've been hinting to her about coming to see her and taking her out etc etc.

Now, she's supposedly not with her boyfriend at the moment. The other day she was, apparently they're experiencing turbulance.

I've literally just come off the phone to her. I could hear myself entering " EMOTIONAL TAMPON" rollercoaster, so I got off. As we was talking about "what do you want in a guy/ whats your preference bla bla "

She said I was " Caring .." - I said "what do you mean .." and she said " Well you ask me whats wrong, when my Facebook status is angry/sad/upset and that etc .."

So ...swiftly moving away from that subject. She told mer her ex bf/bf says things like " Look at me and look at you " cheats on her, has a baby by another woman everything worse you can ever do to a chick you're seeing.

So i asked "Why you still trying to kick it to him.. after all that?, I need to come up there and kidnapp you away from all this chumpery ..ha ha ".. She laughs.

As I was on the phone to her, she said ''He's calling me'', so I said, "Oh well go speak to him", then she said " No he txted me and told me to fvck off .." so I said, well find out what he wants and if it isn't to your interest ..tell him to fvck off .." She shouts " Noooo ..I want you to stay "

I said to her, " Are you trying to make him see if you're busy lol .." she laughs.

10mins later .. I say I'm going anyway, asks me if I'm going to ring her tommorow. . .

So my problem is ...

Her ex bf/bf is a lead singer in a band. Quite highly-known within the music industry. How the hell can I go up against him? ..They've been together for over a 1year and 6months yet this guy nor any of her previous ex's have taken her out ANYWHERE (Cinema, shopping, dinner etc).

I know I'm going to get some comments about being 'the prize' and 'distinguish myself from the rest' - but she seems to put him on such a pedestal, it's quite daunting. He is quite goodlooking aswel. We're both competing in that department I will say.

I could probably pull off a better vibe when it comes to it. But How can I get with this chick? I mean, if he is saying all this to her and being nasty, I can't exactly go in there and be goody-to-shoes?

She's already asked me when am I going to pick her up after college and go out somewhere ...But I'm abit concerned about where it will head afterwards seeing as this guy was/is her '1st love' so she says.

She has loads of male friends (mostly her friends), and I've already hinted to her that I'm not ever going to be apart of that category. We've agreed to call eachother " potential " a little side-joke.

Thoughts and suggestions . . . Thanks

 

[acehole]

Dude you are in the friends zone big time. A year trying to get with her? YOu are her emotional tampon. She is an attention wh0re. YOu gotta be a d1ck here and there and not give a fvck and quit acting like you wanna whine and dine her. STOP GIVING HER ALL YOUR PATHETIC ATTENTION. You are a male orbiter in her space. when shes bored she picks you out then throws you back into orbit. YOu are just like all her male friends and you are in that category despite what she says. if you werent you would befvcking her. Why is she with that dude? Because she likes excitment and unpredictability not some knight in shining armour whose going to take her away from her bad boy and take her to some fine dining. Youre in a losing battle. This ch1ck likes turmoil obviously and bad boys. Unless you can put on a bad boy front for a long time (pretty late now) then you got no shot.
Like myself I cant stand to be with goody two shoes. It turns me off. All the ch1cks ive dated are all chicks that are bad girls, partiers, egotisitcal, etc. When I talk to normal good girls im like yea so my gf blah blah cause I am not interested in them. Same goes for her...shes attracted to bad boys. Cut your loses or stop talking to her for a month and come back like a bad boy and dont give a fvck attitude. Not like "so what type of guy do you like? lets go out to a nice quite dinner". It should be more like "well lets go to a bar and get some drinks". Get fvcked up with her then make your move and dont talk about her man ever again.

 

[HeyPachuco!]

There's no way in hell that I'm not a Badboy. I am Badboy/brute/gentleman/mafioso everything under the sun.

I haven't been TRYING TO GET WITH HER FOR OVER A YEAR. I just resurged talking to her recently and I'm getting in abit more in her personal buis' in terms of her 'shielding'.

She said ''I was a cool guy, you seem mad'' ''mad'' - as in crazy/exciting/spontaneous/dangerous.

C'mon Dude, asif I'm really going to take her out the first time I see her ..? We'll probably hang out i.e (bar, her house, mine or wherever). I'm not going to go in like a night and shining armour atall lol.

Its the fact of her ''pedestalling her ex boyfriend'' thats my only problem. I'm much more hardshelled than her boyfriend, I know who the dude is. He's a softy and a guy with baby mother problems, and girls/ fans who just about know who he and his band is -

The very fact that he can't leave her, says something? ..He has a baby by another woman, but yet still cant be de-detached from this girl on the side? I put blame on her thou, she's allowing him to run her around and I think you're right to some degree - she likes the turmoil.

I am not her EMOTIONAL TAMPON - noway. I always change the subject to me & her whenever she's upset.

But obviously, if she is upset and angry at something, you must ask, and when she answers, and its her 'EX BF'' - what can you possibly do? say the usual. Trust me, I'm not in the friendzone.

How can I be when we've hinted to eachother about going out ..? And I don't mean any quiet dinner table bs. She knows my intentions form the get-go.

 

[HalfAddict]

What band hah?

 

[acehole]

Dude you can listen to me if you want. You asking why is she mad etc. is friend zone sh1t cause you aint fvcking her. She is a class A attention wh0re. Great youre a cool guy and she likes talking to you. If she really wanted to she would fvck you right now because she is the type that will get what she wants.

If dealt with about 3 class A attention wh0res that are like yours. Bunch of male friends etc. Ive fvcked 2 out of 3 of them in got into LTRs. They say sh1t all the time like yea lets hang out lets this or that or yea were going to fvck tonight what have you. That doenst mean sh1t. They make it seem like the door is opened then when your at the door they slam it in your face. They say sh1t to keep you around in hopes of catching the grand prize which is her in this case. They fvcking get off on male attention. I saw this with my own eyes when I was trying to get on them. They would be on the phone or at bar and i would see this sh1t. The dude would be like well you said we would hang out the AW would then say well I cant right now cause of blah blah. Dude they feed you sh1t to keep you around. Would you feel good if you had like 20 female friends wanting to jump your sh1t? I bet you would.

By you getting in her personal business shows you care about her and youre not even fvcking her. Girls like her would rather be able to keep a guy around if they dont have to fvck them because fvcking a guy is a lot for them to handle. Youre making it easy on her.

I got those chicks because i was a d1ck and didnt give a fvck about their ex bf or current bfs and actually threw off their advances on me. Be distant, and when she comes for attention throw her off and shell come back for more then eventually let her in. Im telling you I dealt with the biggest attention wh0re ever. She had dudes throwing themselves on her and she would just laugh and say sh1t they wanna hear then later would be like hahaha chumps. Listen or not.