"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Girl now available?

Obsidian

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Hey y'all,

There's this girl that I met just a week or so ago. I pretty quickly took a liking to her, but it turns out she already had a boyfriend that she'd been going out with for a while. Anyway, she still seemed to be flirting with me somewhat and has continued to do so (last time I was hanging out with her was two nights ago). Anyway, I was bored today and parused her myspace profile, only to find a blog post saying she and her boyfriend had just broken up (presumably in the last 24 hrs or so).

The only problem is that she claims it is a "good thing" because she supposedly needs to know that she can not be dependent on other people, stay single for a little while (she's supposedly had a long string of constant boyfriends), blah blah blah...

Is that whole second paragraph pure nonsense, or might she conceivably have a real desire to stay single?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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Beware of being the "rebound guy." :nono:
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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I'm curious so I'll trade 'ya. You explain why you believe being the rebound guy is a good thing then I'll exply why it's not. :up:
 

Obsidian

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I just figured anything that helped you get the girl was good. Use every advantage -- that sort of concept. Most attractive girls seem to go from boyfriend to boyfriend anyway so if you snooze, you'll probably lose.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Phyzzle

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It is good if you just want casual sex, but bad if you actually like her.

Rebound chicks have a tendency to fake an intense relationship with you, then one day, she makes plans to come over, she stands you up, she stops answering her phone, and you never see her again. She uses you for an ego boost. That could hurt if you let it.

Well, any girl could do that, but rebound girls are a lot worse about it. Especially if she was dumped. Girls go crazy when they get dumped. Mostly, it only happens one in her lifetime.
 

Obsidian

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hmm, wise words that I should definitely keep in mind

Altho, like I said, she seemed to be coming onto me even beforehand. And I get the idea that she initiated the break-up. I'm not vain enough to suppose that I'm the reason she broke up with this guy, but I suspect I may have contributed to it.

The main reason, I think, is that her bf was acting like a total chump. He was consantly calling and texting her and stuff. I mean, real relationships are supposed to involve communication, but seriously... Then again, maybe I just think the way I do because I've been hanging around you guys too long. ;)
 

Burgundy

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Phyzzle said:
It is good if you just want casual sex, but bad if you actually like her.

Rebound chicks have a tendency to fake an intense relationship with you, then one day, she makes plans to come over, she stands you up, she stops answering her phone, and you never see her again. She uses you for an ego boost. That could hurt if you let it.

Well, any girl could do that, but rebound girls are a lot worse about it. Especially if she was dumped. Girls go crazy when they get dumped. Mostly, it only happens one in her lifetime.

PLEASE listen to Phyzzle. Obsidian it seems like you want us to tell you what you want to hear. Everything in the above post i've experienced, it's kind of scary how true it exactly is.

If you want casual sex, you'll probably get it. But man, if you start to fall for her, you'll fall flat on your face and you'll be thinking wtf after the situation is over.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Obsidian said:
I just figured anything that helped you get the girl was good. Use every advantage -- that sort of concept. Most attractive girls seem to go from boyfriend to boyfriend anyway so if you snooze, you'll probably lose.
Being the rebound guy you inherit several things:
  1. The past mistakes of her ex that she hasn't forgiven.
  2. Any anger that she has towards men that she can't take out on her ex.
  3. The possibility of being used to make the ex jealous
  4. The possibility of being used just to boost her bruised ego
  5. The possibility of being left in the dust if she isn't truly over him and he does something that an AFC would do to get her back.
This is why it is best for some other guy to be used to get these things out of her system and prove that she is over her ex. Your chances of success with her is greater if you're not the rebound guy but one of her subsequent guys if she doesn't go back to her ex.
 
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