"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Girl Next Door...

Chris Gamble

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Alright fellas, just a little background on me...I don't have very many posts here but I have been reading the board for about a year, I'm 19 years old, and a virgin (by choice). I don't have a lot of relationship experience, but I feel that I have improved tremendously from my former huge AFC self about 2 years ago.

So here's my situation...I am in college and I live right next door to this girl that I have had about 5 or so drunken/semi-drunken hook-ups with (obviously no sex) over the past month and a half. At first I really had no feelings for this girl, didn't really ever contact her during the week, just somehow always ended up together at the end of a drunken night. Now, I am very happy with continuing hooking up with her on the weeknds (HB 9 in my book). I have recently been talking to her more during the week (not a lot, going over there to talk a couple times, the rare phone call to her) because I want to see her more than just on the weekend. I am trying to play this situation as cool as possible, because I REALLY fukked up the last time I had feelings like this for a girl. Anyway, we have not gone on any dates, or anything of the sort.

So I have a couple of options...I kind of want to say something to her like, "I don't really know what's going on between us, but I like it that way and that makes it fun" (is that stupid to say?), or I can play the strictly hook-up part, which is great (to an extent). I also plan on telling her that I am going to take her on a date after winter break is over. (Thoughts here?)

This is the girl I want to lose my virginity to, is there a way I can bring that up? Obviously it would be easier to talk about it after a few drinks, but I don't know if I want to do it that way... She turns 21 this Friday so we will see what happens then, but for now I am struggling from wanting to go over there and talk to her but I don't want to seem too needy or "bug" her. How often should I talk/see her during the week to keep the interest up? Anyway, I am open to criticism and the like. What are you thoughts?? Thanks guys, this site has helped me so much!

-Chris
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Chris Gamble

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Bumpin' for DJ help!
 

DJDamage

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My thoughts are that you are still AFC sorry buddy.

You are talking like a girl about losing your virginity to the right person. You are a Man, being a virgin is nothing, it won't change you or cause you to break anything like a hyman in a woman's vagina. If you find a girl attractive then just go for it and fvck her, let the girl worry about finding the "right person to lose my virginity too".

By the way when a man says he is virgin by choice is practically admitting he couldn't get any. Toughen up your act man.
 

flexion_

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Women dictate how the relationship moves - let her be the first one to bring up feelings and then you decide.

Your show her how you like by your actions and having a good time with her.

*Don't* sit her down and have talk about how the relationship is going or have some talk about sex - only do that if there is something wrong. If you want to lose your virginity with her then you need to initiate sex when you two are messin' around.

You mentioned you were planning on taking her on a date in the new year??? - what does that mean - you said you've already hooked up with her numerous times.
 

Chris Gamble

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Thanks for the replies guys...

DJDamage, thanks for your thoughts, I respect your opinion. If by not "getting any" you mean no sex, than yes, but otherwise I disagree...lol

flexion, you're right I shouldn't "have a talk" with her... as far as the date thing, I want to take her on a date, but should I yet? Or just continue to be satisfied with the hook-ups?

-Chris
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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flexion_

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I guess my point is that a hookup is a date. So whats the problem?

If you want to do something with her other than late night hookups then when you have something fun you are doing in your life going on ask her to come along.

Taking a woman out to a dinner and a movie isn't going to make your relationship any stronger.
 
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Originally posted by Chris Gamble
So I have a couple of options...I kind of want to say something to her like, "I don't really know what's going on between us, but I like it that way and that makes it fun" (is that stupid to say?), or I can play the strictly hook-up part, which is great (to an extent). I also plan on telling her that I am going to take her on a date after winter break is over. (Thoughts here?)

This is the girl I want to lose my virginity to, is there a way I can bring that up? Obviously it would be easier to talk about it after a few drinks, -Chris
All that you stated in terms of talking to her and telling her this and that and blah blah blah is wrong - do NOT say anything!!!! Men don't tell women what they are going to do or why we are going to do it - we do it!!! Only kids say, "Do you want to be my girlfriend?"

Invite her out and make a move and see her reaction!! If positive ("yeah honey give me a another kiss") she likes you, if negative (she regurgitates) then she sees you as a drunken friend and not a romantic partner!! Try to be romantic when you or her are not drunk for the most honest indication of interest on her part!!
 
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