Girl never initiates contact

[Dole]

Basically you want this girl to feel like you don't like her. You want her to feel off center, so you don't have to. As long as your calling and doing what is predictable, she will keep losing interest. Do not call her anymore. Walking away is the best shock method. Let her come crawling back and try to make it right, and if she doesn't, then even better.

Good luck, Bro!

Setup another date with her, cancel the date on her later. Tell her something came up and that you guy's should reschedule. Don't initiate contact until she does.:cheer:

 

[Dole]

I could telll you so many crazy stories about HB10's going psycho over me (I'm a poor, average looking joe) that you would shake your head in disbelief.
...
I worked this hb9 who climbed in my pickup and brought me a bag of cookies she baked. Most guys would of took a bite and went all AFC about how good they were and the best they ever had and thank you thank you thank you crap. I took a bite, spit it out on the floor, threw the bag out the window and asked if this was her first time baking. Ten minutes later she was giving me a BJ while I was driving. THIS IS THE MINDSET YOU MUST MASTER!

WOW, BEST STORY EVER! :crackup: :crackup:
Can you please write a journal with more of these story's that you have experienced. I would read them every day until I comprehend that kind of mind set.

 

[MarathonMan262]

Interesting! I have a smiliar situation (kinda):

I met a gal at the pool. She is married, I am married. The attraction was surreal. She gave me her email address and told me to contact her. I did. That was six months ago. In this timeframe, we have had a dozen workouts, a few dinner/drinks, and two major hugging/cuddling/make out sessions. Yet to take our clothes off. She did come over my house one night about a month ago and said she was very comfortable hanging out with me, and "next time" she will bring her guitar so we could jam. Then I went away for two weeks, have been back for two weeks, but have yet to meet again (we're both busy professionals). Though we have tried.

Here is the thing: I initiate everything! She invited me ONCE to work out with her. At one point, I was annoyed at her lack of initiation and stopped contacting her. I went three weeks before I finally caved (that was really hard) and contacted her. She asked where I had been, and started responing instantly to all my emails. Then she gave me her phone number and we text, but only if I initiate. She really likes texting better than email.

Now she is back to only responding (which she does quickly) only when I initiate. She never initiates, and it annoys the living hell out of me. I am at the point again where I am going to stop contacting her. I know some will say its the guys job, but I am more sympathetic to the the "hey, I lose interest when its not reciprocal". The chick is hot, I am ripped, and we are very clearly attracted to each physically and mentally, but when is enough, enough? Thoughts?

I want to meet her for a drink and ask her if she likes out friendship, if she wants to continue, and if she does, I tell her its gotta be 50/50. Thoughts on this?

MM

 

[pyros]

First of all, you say that you just met and made out twice.
So I do not see the problem in you initiating conctact until you've seen each other, I dont know, four or five times? it is still really early.

Anyway, as I said above, I would set up one or two more dates and THEN I would not initate any contact anymore. If she reaches out to you GOOD, if she doesnt you set up one last date. In any case, you just say to her (as someone said in this thread) that you loose interest if a girl does not reciprocate the interest, and that means calling, texting etc.

You just say it once. If she likes you she will realize, if she still doesnt initiate, I would next her, or keep her as a FB only.


Peace.

P.S.
I was dating a girl some time ago, and after a month or so I noticed that she could be with me for a whole day, and just kiss me once, IN THE WHOLE DAY. After some days I did not say anything to her, but I did the exact same thing. After two days she started being a lot more affectionate and she just kissed me several times per day, and she looked at my in the eyes with a weird expression when she was missing my daily kisses. Then she asked me why I just stopped to kiss her. I said to her that I did not like to be the one to initate kisses, makeouts, sex, etc the whole time. She got the message, kept being more affectionate, and problem solved.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Funny enough, I did a podcast about this subject last week - check it out: http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/slw0002/

 

[MarathonMan262]

First of all, you say that you just met and made out twice.

You just say it once. If she likes you she will realize, if she still doesnt initiate, I would next her, or keep her as a FB only.

Ooops! You missed the part that says we have known each other for six months! I agree with you that it needs to be said, and we'll see how she reacts and what her actions after the fact bring as a result of the discussion.

Thanks for your feedback! I really like this gal so I hope it works out!

MM

 

[MarathonMan262]

Funny enough, I did a podcast about this subject last week - check it out: http://www.stoplosingwomen.com/slw0002/

Harry, great podcast! That was fun and well presented. So, you clrearly are an expert on this, so I'll ask your opinion:

After six months of several nice workouts, dinners, and two awesome hugging and smooching sessions, is still my job to do all the initiation?

Or is it reasonable at this point to expect something back from her?

That, at the end of the day, is the botton line question!

Thanks for your feedack and great podcast!

MM

 

[pyros]

Harry, great podcast! That was fun and well presented. So, you clrearly are an expert on this, so I'll ask your opinion:

After six months of several nice workouts, dinners, and two awesome hugging and smooching sessions, is still my job to do all the initiation?

Or is it reasonable at this point to expect something back from her?

That, at the end of the day, is the botton line question!

Thanks for your feedack and great podcast!

MM

No! its not your ****ing duty to keep initiating! my gosshhh, it is not after two weeks, or four dates, you're talking about SIX MONTHS!!

 

[MarathonMan262]

No! its not your ****ing duty to keep initiating! my gosshhh, it is not after two weeks, or four dates, you're talking about SIX MONTHS!!

Yep! You and all my friends agree! I am working out and having drinks with her this week, and she will be politely told how I feel about initiation. We'll see how it rolls!

Thanks for all your feedback. But where is Harry W on this?

MM

 

[MarathonMan262]

So I met this gal last night and we had a great conversation. I told her politely and clearly how I felt about intiation, two way street, and communication. She said that she is traditional, and that she didnt want to me to take intiation from her the wrong way. She told me that she was raised in a catholic family, and that she isnt good at expressing her feelings. "its hard for me". So its clear now, and she knows how I feel, and I understand where she is coming from. We went back to my car and kissed and cuddled for a long time. This will be a slow process with her.

Moral of this story: there isnt a one sized fits all for this issue. Everyone is differnt, and when it doesnt feel right, you gotta speak up and make yourself clear, for better or worse. Better in this case!

MM

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Why is leading, initiating not meant to be a chore, burden, why is it something we are supposed to enjoy? how does it give you power?