girl,me

[cloneofstenyhoyer]

okay, here is the scenario:

I call girl (my second call) and we talk for a bit. things are going good. I ask her out this thursday. and she says she has a tennis date with her ex. she says she doesn't wanna do it. and says she wants to cancel. I'm like, whatever either way. I told her I'd call her tomorrow or thursday when she makes up her mind, and see. now I don't even know if I wanna call her. I may wait another week to even call. I just wanted to get other guy's opinions on this. I told her I wanted to go out to dinner. :cuss:

 

[Igetit!]

That's ridiculous.Let me get this straight.This Thursday she's going out on a date that she really doesn't want to go on,is that right? And she wants to cancel. Well,why did she accept the date in the first place? You said that you were going call her tomorrow to see whether or not she has made up her mind. I have a better idea. Call her up tomorrow like you said, but instead of trying to find out if she has made up her mind or not,tell her that YOU have changed your mind about taking her out.

 

[cloneofstenyhoyer]

I don't want her to think I give a **** whether or not she hangs out wit guy she don't wanna hang wit.

 

[Igetit!]

You don't have to be rude about it. If I were you, I'd call her tomorrow like you said you would,and when she answers the phone,the conversation would go like this:
Her:Hello?
You:Hey, what's up?
Her:Nothing much,what are you up to?
You:Just hanging around the house,relaxing. Hey,I know that I said that I would like to have dinner with you on Thursday,but I'm probably going to be tied up all day,so maybe we can do it some other time,alright?
Herblah blah blah)
This is what I would,and I wouldn't suggest another time either. I would wait to see if she would do it. If she doesn't,I would end the call,and not call her back. If she does, I wouldn't commit to it. I would say something like,"Ummm...we'll see.
Remember man, you're the prize.

 

[cloneofstenyhoyer]

I know I am the prize. yet, I do wanna go out with this girl. it really will be her loss if she doesn't.

 

[Igetit!]

It's not about if you want to go out with her. It's if she wants to go out with you. With my phone call illustration, you would get a clearer view of her interest level in you.

 

[cloneofstenyhoyer]

I'm just ****ing sick. it seems like every girl is not interested. they have a shield up.

 

[cloneofstenyhoyer]

why should it be up to HER to decide?

 

[cloneofstenyhoyer]

if I make another date, should I tell her??

 

[Igetit!]

Chill out,man. Don't blow a gasket. Trust me,every guy here has either been where you are, are currently where you are,or about to go through where you are.You just told me that you are the prize,right? Well start acting like it.
The first thing you need to do is stop acting like this one girl is the last woman in the world. I can tell that you like her,but if she isn't interested in you,guess what? There are other girls. To be honest with you,from everything you said,it does seem like you still have a chance with her.
I would just do like I suggested about the phone call.Cancel the date,then see how she responds.If she doesn't care,that means she didn't like you to begin with. If she gets upset or agitated, then she's into you. But if you find out that she does like you,and she suggest another time,don't jump on it.
Don't say yes in a hurry. Just be cool,and say something like,"We'll see."

 

[cloneofstenyhoyer]

should I tell her I am cancelling the date because she was so indecisive? because she is hanging out w/ her ex (which she claims she doesn't really even want to do?) :crackup: :cheer: :nervous:

 

[Igetit!]

NO!!! Are you crazy? Don't say that.Don't say anything about her dating the other guy. And don't say anything about her being indecisive. Don't give her a reason why,and (this is important) don't sound angry or upset while you are talking to her.Just say,"Hey,I'm probably going to be tied up all day,so maybe we can do it another time,alright?" Say it just like that. If she suggest another time,don't say,"yeah,sure". Say something like,"Well.....I'll tell you what. Let's just see what happens,ok?
Remember,YOU'RE the prize.Right? And how do you get a prize? You win it. It isn't given to you. If it was given to you,it wouldn't be a prize,it would be a gift.Just try what I said,and let's see what happens.

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

okay, here is the scenario:

I call girl (my second call) and we talk for a bit. things are going good. I ask her out this thursday. and she says she has a tennis date with her ex. she says she doesn't wanna do it. and says she wants to cancel. I'm like, whatever either way. I told her I'd call her tomorrow or thursday when she makes up her mind, and see. now I don't even know if I wanna call her. I may wait another week to even call. I just wanted to get other guy's opinions on this. I told her I wanted to go out to dinner.

If she said she had a tennis date but didn't want to go and wanted to cancel, you could have just said "so then cancel it and I'll see you at 8" or whatever. If she resisted, then you just say "well my weekend is pretty busy but I might have some time earlier in the day on Saturday." Don't say that you'll call her to see if she makes up her mind. That makes it seem as though you are just sitting around waiting and hoping she will go out with you. If she can't make a solid commitment, then make other plans and reschedule.

 

[cloneofstenyhoyer]

yeah, it seemed like I could have gotten her to cancel if I just pressed her a bit more. I was like, "you'll have more fun going to dinner". but I just didn't really wanna seem like it was urgent to me that she go out with me thursday, I guess that is why I didn't really press her. I was driving at the time and that is when I told her I would just call her later (I didn't feel like driving while on the phone - I hate that crap).

 

[cloneofstenyhoyer]

any other thoughts anyone? I would appreciate it.

 

[cloneofstenyhoyer]

update: I told her what "Igetit" said. I told that today wasn't a good day and MAYBE some other time will work. the crack in her voice was hilarious. "maybe?" she said - and then she went on and on about how we live close together and stuff and how convenient it was. she also told me she had next weekend free. I didnt set anything else up. told her I was partyin' tonight w/ my friend (which is true). we'll see how this pans out. thanks for the replies to those that did.

 

[Igetit!]

Beautiful man!Beautiful! Now stay cool. Do you believe us now? With all the guys here on this site,somebody has to be right some of the time.

 

[cloneofstenyhoyer]

hehe. fo sho.

 

[Igetit!]

So what's you next move man? I do have a suggestion or two,but I want to see where your head is at.

 

[cloneofstenyhoyer]

hmmm. I was gonna call next wednesday and set up something for either thursday, friday or saturday. what was your suggestion?