Girl lost interest because I'm "insentitive"

[tryst type]

This one chick I've hung out with a few times just texts me saying she's not interested anymore because I didn't bother to text and ask how her sick dad was doing.

He had gotten sick a couple weeks ago in the midst of a little back and forth texting we were having and she had to cut it short as he was being sent to the hospital.

Since then we've had very light texting and she seemed in a depressed mood so I basically just stayed clear.

Now she's saying she wants a guy more sensitive and who cares. I simply replied:

"I'm sorry you feel that way. I understand. It was fun"

I don't think I did anything wrong here and am glad to see this side of her early on. We weren't even exclusive or at all serious for such a thing to be said to me.

 

[tryst type]

She's just not attracted to you.

That's not true :rockon:

 

[ecko280]

I had this happened to me also last week.

We went on 3 dates and make out on the last 2 dates. I set up a fourth date to f**k close at my house for friday night. She agree to it. I set this up on Monday night, so during the week i did not text her at all.

Thursday night comes and i get a text from her saying:

"hey i just wanted to say thank u for all the good time but im letting u go i wish u nothing but the best but today i was thinking u barely text me or call me to see how im doing and everytime we are going to see eachother it feels like an appointment just dont feel like a potiential thing."


I text her back "ok" and left it that.

Almost the same thing you just went trough. The only thing i recommend is to not care and move on to the next one.

 

[Big Nuts]

Big, big sh!t test...that's all. Sucks when a chick has a tragedy or something serious happen when you're about to pound poon!

That's life!!!

 

[June_Gloom]

She lost interest because she isn't interested in you. Chicks will never be direct to as why she isn't interested. They will always fish for an excuse to use. Just like she did to you.

 

[evan12]

She's just not attracted to you.

that

 

[nismo-4]

Post # 2,600!

Your princess is in another castle. Seriously. Don't delude yourself.

Women who are interested in you won't confuse you. She won't be shy, she won't break appointments, she will move a mountain (or break through it) to see you. She won't throw out mixed signals either. She just used this as an excuse to drop you. That's the truth and Judge nismo's ruling.

Case closed. Call the next case.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I think that it's reasonable for her to be disappointed that you didn't ask about her dad. I sure as heck would have and would have scored huge points with her having done so.

It's perfectly legit for a woman to desire that a new potential boyfriend would show that courtesy. It sounds to me like she WAS interested in you but your lack of concern was a disqualifier.

 

[tryst type]

I think that it's reasonable for her to be disappointed that you didn't ask about her dad. I sure as heck would have and would have scored huge points with her having done so.

It's perfectly legit for a woman to desire that a new potential boyfriend would show that courtesy. It sounds to me like she WAS interested in you but your lack of concern was a disqualifier.

I agree. But we had only hung out twice very briefly so I didn't expect her to be that serious about me expressing concern and empathy. Guess she was way more into me than she showed/I noticed.

To the other posters I don't think this was just an excuse to show disinterest. Her texts were pretty in depth and had emotional anger towards me for not displaying behavior she was hoping to get.

 

[Jitterbug]

Expressing some concern and wishing him well is simply basic courtesy. You don't have to show up at the hospital with flowers.

A Don Juan is suave, charming and classy. Can you imagine one who doesn't say a few polite words of sympathy in such a situation?

 

[crazyboy]

your lack of sympathy for her father would have been a problem. Just saying i hope he pull through and feel better would be more than enough. Common courtsey you know and she most likely lost any long term potential for you do to how you reacted in moment that was very serious for her. But to real issue you don't need to constant text no woman you just met about her father she not into you as much anymore. because believe it or not women don't ignore people there interest in. yeah you lack some empathy there but if she really like you she wouldn't have let that incident stop you guys.

 

[WoodB]

Listen to Nismo-4's ruling. A woman who wants to be with you will not yank your weenie.

 

[Aristippus]

I think that it's reasonable for her to be disappointed that you didn't ask about her dad. I sure as heck would have and would have scored huge points with her having done so.

It's perfectly legit for a woman to desire that a new potential boyfriend would show that courtesy. It sounds to me like she WAS interested in you but your lack of concern was a disqualifier.

Forget about whether mentioning the dad would score any points with her. Common concern and courtesy should come into play in these situations no matter who you're talking to. Whether it's a male friend, an old lady, an old man, a woman you're attracted to, or some kid you were talking to, you should always show common courtesy.

Don't display courtesy with a "What's in it for me?" attitude. Display courtesy even when there's absolutely nothing to gain from it other than the satisfaction of being considerate to another human being. You don't have to like the dad, but you should at least be concerned enough for the welfare of another person to ask how the guy is doing. It costs you nothing to do and would have made her feel better whether or not the two of you got together. Always bring good with you no matter where you go. This goes beyond whether or not you get the girl and goes into the realm of being the kind of man you want to be.

"Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one."- Marcus Aurelius

 

[Partizan]

Just be happy she told you the reason and use it as a lesson learned.

 

[like2jam]

Well, if I were interested in even banging a gal, and I'd been on a couple of dates with her, I would have definitely sent a one of text randomly at some point to say that I hope your father is doing well. Otherwise, yeah, you could come off as too cold, distant and simply not interested in her life.

The gal I've been dating a bit, her pet was in the hospital one day. When I found out I sent her a text to just say, oh that's awful, I really hope he pulls through, or something like that. Chicks get emotional and they expect the man to comfort them. So that's our job, comfort them when they need it. If a girl is deciding on how you fit into her future, she will definitely notice if you don't comfort her even a little in her time of need.

 

[backbreaker]

She's just not attracted to you.

i once dated a girl, i've even posted about her here, in my early 20's for about 5 months that broke up with me because she went home to Louisiana for thanksgiving, i was supposed to go and didn't, she got sick while she was down there and i wasn't there to be in the hosptial with her. broke up with me the second she got on the phone.


she was extremely attracted to me. she was just an idiot who thought she had 20 years to find mr. right.

it didn't take her long to realize her mistake, but i held firm and moved on. i took it as a sign as should the OP


idiocy has nothing to do with attraction

 

[backbreaker]

Forget about whether mentioning the dad would score any points with her. Common concern and courtesy should come into play in these situations no matter who you're talking to. Whether it's a male friend, an old lady, an old man, a woman you're attracted to, or some kid you were talking to, you should always show common courtesy.

Don't display courtesy with a "What's in it for me?" attitude. Display courtesy even when there's absolutely nothing to gain from it other than the satisfaction of being considerate to another human being. You don't have to like the dad, but you should at least be concerned enough for the welfare of another person to ask how the guy is doing. It costs you nothing to do and would have made her feel better whether or not the two of you got together. Always bring good with you no matter where you go. This goes beyond whether or not you get the girl and goes into the realm of being the kind of man you want to be.

"Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one."- Marcus Aurelius

that's what this forum doesn't seem to grasp but a few here do. everything you do, isn't about getting your **** wet. sometimes you hold the door open for a woman just beucase that's what you do. sometimes you ask about a sick dad because (gasp) you give a **** and even if you don't, that's just what normal people do.

lol this is the exact thought process of some here

"i would ask a girl if her dad is sick, but that's pretty beta. i would look like a jerk / more alpha if i didnt' give a **** about her dad because alphas don't' give a **** about anything. yeah that will get me laid"

 

[zekko]

that's what this forum doesn't seem to grasp but a few here do. everything you do, isn't about getting your **** wet. sometimes you hold the door open for a woman just beucase that's what you do. sometimes you ask about a sick dad because (gasp) you give a **** and even if you don't, that's just what normal people do.

lol this is the exact thought process of some here

"i would ask a girl if her dad is sick, but that's pretty beta. i would look like a jerk / more alpha if i didnt' give a **** about her dad because alphas don't' give a **** about anything. yeah that will get me laid"

Lol, very true, I'd rep you if I could.

 

[tryst type]

I understand the whole being courteous in general aspect but I barely knew this girl and I wasn't even that interested. She threw her dad's medical condition into the interaction randomly.

We had only hung out twice for a total of about an hour I'd say. No real dates or anything just brief meet ups.

Anyway she randomly texted me yesterday with this:

"So maybe I was being a little harsh on you before I was just clouded mentally and wasn't thinking when I attacked your integrity. I realized you just don't know me and I don't really know you. You're cool though maybe we can get together again sometime"

Is she borderline crazy or am I missing something here?

 

[Partizan]

Anyway she randomly texted me yesterday with this:

"So maybe I was being a little harsh on you before I was just clouded mentally and wasn't thinking when I attacked your integrity. I realized you just don't know me and I don't really know you. You're cool though maybe we can get together again sometime"

Is she borderline crazy or am I missing something here?

Seems genuinely apologetic to me.