"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Girl keeps having best time with me -- how to use this to my advantage?

Elf2

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I met this girl over the summer and we kind of had feelings for each other but then I went off to college so that didn't work out. But I'm home now.

Thing is shes kinda still taking to her ex-bf but I don't think its anything serious and if it is it doesn't matter cause I can change that.

She has the absolute best time with me and I know she does. I was thinking about using this to my advantage by talking to her and telling her that I don't want to see her anymore unless she stops talking to him. This may lead to us hooking up. Good idea? Or what
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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The Forms

Senior Don Juan
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So you aren't interested in seriously dating this girl, right? All you're looking to do is hook up?

Why does it even matter if she still talks to her ex? It's not like you're looking for a relationship, you're just looking for a little action.

Telling her not to see her ex anymore comes off as unconfident and needy. Also, giving a person an ultimatum never really works out positively. She'll likely see this as you trying to tell her what to do because you're scared of her ex. That doesn't sound very DJ, does it?
 

Elf2

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No, it doesn't. Perhaps I explained it wrong.

The ex I think isn't too important, they aren't "together" right now. But they do occasionally go out to dinner and hang out. The ex bf is much much younger than me. I guess I will just try to distance her from him and try to hang out with her more often then he.

And also, I have yet to hang out with her alone. It has always been a party or something. Should I drop a hint to hanging out alone? Will she get the hint?
 

ZaReK

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Elf2 said:
No, it doesn't. Perhaps I explained it wrong.

The ex I think isn't too important, they aren't "together" right now. But they do occasionally go out to dinner and hang out. The ex bf is much much younger than me. I guess I will just try to distance her from him and try to hang out with her more often then he.

And also, I have yet to hang out with her alone. It has always been a party or something. Should I drop a hint to hanging out alone? Will she get the hint?
From what I just read, you still have the mentality that he's a threat for you and that you need to eliminate him. How about just not giving a **** about him?

Drop a hint? How about you tell her you want to **** her? Sounds much better to my ears. Don't play their games and they won't play it. If she get all scared, I wouldn't be interested in dating a chicks that can't handle me being direct towards her.
 

The Forms

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The next step is to isolate her. She likes talking to you, she's comfortable around you, so now you need to get her alone.

This is NOT something you hint about. Since the two of you alone is the obvious next step, she's waiting for you to bring it up. If you kind of sniff around the issue but don't actually ask her to spend time alone with you, she'll think you're a chump. But honestly, if she's digging you AT ALL this is a really easy step. You get her alone and show her a good time and he's as good as gone. You don't have to say a word about him.

Asking her to quit talking to him when you haven't even spent one evening alone with her is REALLY putting the cart before the horse.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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