Girl is great, but not so hot! help...

[arqz4]

Hey fellas... first a little background info to help: i've been reading this forum for years (maybe 3), don't be fooled by my number of posts. After 1 year without coming here, i had to...

Well i met this girl, she has a cute face, nice personality and she seems to like me for me, meaning not my power, social status and money (of course that counts, but it's not the major factor)... we get along fine and we have similar tastes in alot of things. She's the first in my entire life that seems to have genuine interest in me. Btw I am 22 and she's 19...

Greaaaat, however there's a problem. She's kinda overweight.. maybe 5-7kg more than she should be. She's pretty average bodywise, just because of that extra mass she's carrying... seems like if she workout, she would be very hot... she got that beer belly, if u know what i mean.

Question is, i picture my gf very lean, hot and cute.. don't need to be 10/10.. you get the point... I've dated her 5 times already and sh*t I just can't pass through that image... i could definitely gf her, but seems that not-so-great body would always be jeopardizing in some way our relashionship.

Now that added with the DJ mentality (strive for the best), it keeps mounting even more pressure on that, some might say, superficial subject... I've dated one 10/10 bodywise + 7/10 face last year, but she had no personality, just blank.. i can't find middle ground here, only extremes.. f**k...

I am a decent looking guy, a little more white then usual (polish) in a tropical country (Brazil), skinny (lean) with nice personality. Btw i am working on getting my masters degree so i just can't better my image this next months. Honestly, i'm starting to think that having it all in one person is very, very hard...

Addicionally, i've never had a gf, because all the girls i've dated (even for months) i had nothing in common with... this one i do, and that keeps me trying to solve this "problem"... btw, that blocked me totally and i'm finding difficult to get emotionally involved... today i went auto-pilot with her.. that sucks...

Did the "roles" change and I'm getting a "nice girl"?

ps. she doesn't seem to worry about that body thing... i'm pretty sure she's a virgin. Actually, she said once to me that she thought that man was like women, in the way that they may like one particular aspect (like hair, eyes, you know) and of course man look the overrall stuff...

should i settle for less? that being, maybe in perspective, not less at all?
could use some wisdom from you guys!.. i really need to put thinks in perspective, soon she'll start to wonder where we are going and i'm gonna have to choose one direction. I don't want to screw her head giving her false hopes (i never did, not once. But as days pass we are more and more like a couple)...

 

[Obsidian]

i tried doing something similar for a little while, but eventually I decided to drop her so I could pursue better options. I didn't feel real great about it, but ultimately, I think it was probably the right thing to do.

girls need to stay in good shape. otherwise, there's just not much point

 

[reset]

You could suggest working out together, because you think it's sexy to exercise with your girl. That's about the classiest way I can think of doing it. If she values you, she'll take the hint and "shape up".

 

[oakraiderz2]

You could suggest working out together, because you think it's sexy to exercise with your girl. That's about the classiest way I can think of doing it. If she values you, she'll take the hint and "shape up".

I second that.

 

[Obsidian]

wow, that's seriously amazing advice

 

[arqz4]

yes that's a great advice.. however we kinda live far away, and we're very busy this year... there is a time constraint that makes things harder even to meet... now image working out together... she mentioned she's trying to loose weight but it seemed just like every girl saying they need to loose some pounds..

this is sad... as you grow older I thought that superficial stuff would wear off... it doesn't seem the case... anyone else has exp. in this kind of situation?

 

[MacDiddy]

When a chick doesn't have what it takes to get my willy up, then she doesn't make the cut. If this chick, despite her average looks, gets you going, then I say hit it!!! she's 18 so there isn't much long term potential anyway..

 

[BlahBBlah]

Forget it. Move on and keep trying. If she isn't your type body-wise, then it isn't going to work out.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Hey fellas... first a little background info to help: i've been reading this forum for years (maybe 3), don't be fooled by my number of posts. After 1 year without coming here, i had to...

Well i met this girl, she has a cute face, nice personality and she seems to like me for me, meaning not my power, social status and money (of course that counts, but it's not the major factor)... we get along fine and we have similar tastes in alot of things. She's the first in my entire life that seems to have genuine interest in me. Btw I am 22 and she's 19...

Greaaaat, however there's a problem. She's kinda overweight.. maybe 5-7kg more than she should be. She's pretty average bodywise, just because of that extra mass she's carrying... seems like if she workout, she would be very hot... she got that beer belly, if u know what i mean.

Question is, i picture my gf very lean, hot and cute.. don't need to be 10/10.. you get the point... I've dated her 5 times already and sh*t I just can't pass through that image... i could definitely gf her, but seems that not-so-great body would always be jeopardizing in some way our relashionship.

Now that added with the DJ mentality (strive for the best), it keeps mounting even more pressure on that, some might say, superficial subject... I've dated one 10/10 bodywise + 7/10 face last year, but she had no personality, just blank.. i can't find middle ground here, only extremes.. f**k...

I am a decent looking guy, a little more white then usual (polish) in a tropical country (Brazil), skinny (lean) with nice personality. Btw i am working on getting my masters degree so i just can't better my image this next months. Honestly, i'm starting to think that having it all in one person is very, very hard...

Addicionally, i've never had a gf, because all the girls i've dated (even for months) i had nothing in common with... this one i do, and that keeps me trying to solve this "problem"... btw, that blocked me totally and i'm finding difficult to get emotionally involved... today i went auto-pilot with her.. that sucks...

Did the "roles" change and I'm getting a "nice girl"?

ps. she doesn't seem to worry about that body thing... i'm pretty sure she's a virgin. Actually, she said once to me that she thought that man was like women, in the way that they may like one particular aspect (like hair, eyes, you know) and of course man look the overrall stuff...

should i settle for less? that being, maybe in perspective, not less at all?
could use some wisdom from you guys!.. i really need to put thinks in perspective, soon she'll start to wonder where we are going and i'm gonna have to choose one direction. I don't want to screw her head giving her false hopes (i never did, not once. But as days pass we are more and more like a couple)...

You're acting like a jacka$s with your attitude. Ok, maybe I'm being a little to hard on you, but you sound kinda immature about the whole thing. If you have found her to be very compatible with you, and pretty much what you want out of someone, then you owe it to yourself to try to see how it goes for you. 5-7 kg's extra won't really change somebody's body type. If she's 15-20 kg overweight, then it might. You are very young, so I wouldn't worry about all that stuff you were concerned about.

If you are the type that attracts drama queens, then she'll turn out to be too boring for you. If you are the type that needs to have a challenging girl, then she's probably not the one for you, and it would not be fair to either of you to get involved in anything too serious.

Personally, I don't care for drama queen girls, or ones that need to be fighting me and challenging me for control. I need a giver, someone who is there to please me and to make things better for me, not harder. I will also make things easier for her in other ways, so someone complimentary is a must for me. That is just my preference. As soon as I meet a girl who is too different and too difficult to deal with, regardless of how hot she is, I will disqualify her as a potential long term material.

 

[arqz4]

You're acting like a jacka$s with your attitude. Ok, maybe I'm being a little to hard on you, but you sound kinda immature about the whole thing. If you have found her to be very compatible with you, and pretty much what you want out of someone, then you owe it to yourself to try to see how it goes for you. 5-7 kg's extra won't really change somebody's body type. If she's 15-20 kg overweight, then it might. You are very young, so I wouldn't worry about all that stuff you were concerned about.

If you are the type that attracts drama queens, then she'll turn out to be too boring for you. If you are the type that needs to have a challenging girl, then she's probably not the one for you, and it would not be fair to either of you to get involved in anything too serious.

Personally, I don't care for drama queen girls, or ones that need to be fighting me and challenging me for control. I need a giver, someone who is there to please me and to make things better for me, not harder. I will also make things easier for her in other ways, so someone complimentary is a must for me. That is just my preference. As soon as I meet a girl who is too different and too difficult to deal with, regardless of how hot she is, I will disqualify her as a potential long term material.

First, thx for replying. I'm sorry, but a don't see how this is immature. Attractiveness is an important aspect of any relashionship, and i just can't get in a serious one without considering all things. I am thinking about her too, cuz she would like me to be attracted to her, and a girl who can not turn on her boyfriend will need years of teraphy.I've noticed that I attract drama queens and givers.. the first ones i don't care. She is a giver, that's for sure.

After some serious thought about this subject I've come to realise that what kept me from going deep into this relashionship is the DJ mantra.
The mindset of "i'm the sh**t, the prize, i can get hb9-10" is a possible and necessary mindset for a man, cuz it shifts the power towards us, breaking the AFC pattern. However it might not be feasible in a practical sense. First this mindset needs to be congruent with our material world. I mean, the strive for being the best doesn't necessary mean we ar at our best.

So i've come to realise that she is congruent with my "today's possibilities", built on my achievements in every aspect of my current "me". Of course we should always try to be the best we can, know that there is 3 billion girls out there and not sell our souls to pu**y. But we also need to realise that finding the "image girl or the one" in the real world can be harsh, not because we can't have her or she don't want us. Maybe it's just because she didn't showed up yet, or we coundn't see her even if she did.

In essence, i'm trying to say that i can and will attract girls who are hotter and whatever, but that doesn't seem feasible (while possible) at my current age, professional achievements and overrall image (i still look like 17 cuz i have baby face)

I hope this helped guys who are having similar problems. I'd appreciate seeing further replys from you guys...


peace

 

[thefenix]

Also you don't have to suggest working out by going to the gym or something direct. You can do things like kayaking, surfing, biking, or hiking. Doing these can be more fun than really working out and it grows the relationship with a common hobby.

 

[PRMoon]

If your not happy with how you feel with some one either emotionally or physically just drop her. It's not worth persuing something you don't like especially since that will stick in your mind later if things were to progress. Eventually as time passes you'll start to find something negative like that to be more and more irriating and you'll drop that bomb at the worst time, like during a fight. There are tons of girls in the world so try again and find a new one.