Girl is getting engaged : Shall I continue with her?

[vivek59234]

Hi DJs,

I had posted a thread few days ago regarding my problems and thank you for helping me out. Thread link :

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=2012063#post2012063

Here is the story... You all know that Indian culture is very different and we have to follow our parent's decisions, specially in all girl's cases.

I had a brief discussion with this girl who loves me and we were about to be with each other forever. However, suddenly her parents have forced her like anything and got her emotionally to marry a guy. Emotional factor matters a lot in our culture and specially in parent's cases because families get involved and there are also lot of things around.

This girl fought with her parents, tried a lot to convince them but ultimately they forced her to get married with a guy.

She is getting engaged within 10-15 days and will be married after 1 year.

Now, here is the thing. I have spoken with her and she cried and said "she will never leave me". Even if she is married she won't compromise her career and she will be working with me in my office itself. Which is also a big advantage for me.

I have been having sex with her 2-3 times in a week and she has never gone against me... She always agrees in my feelings.

Now when she wants to continue with me even if she will be engaged, what are the possibilities?

What if I enjoy with her and make out? How should I behave if she meets or talks to her fiance?

Shall I just be myself and don't care?

Shall I just enjoy her company as I have been doing and throw away all oneties?

No desperation and all?

Please suggest me because I really want to keep her and she doesn't have any problem in having sex with me.

Thanks in advance,

Vivek

 

[vivek59234]

Please help me

 

[backseatjuan]

You have 3 choices:


A) Force her to marry you despite her parent's wishes.

B) See her as **** buddy privately.

C) Break it all off.



My personal favorite is C. Because if you considering girl seriously she has to be the whole package, has wonderful mother and father, etc.. If you force her A she is just junk. If you force her B you are just using her and most likely stuck with junk and missing other possibilities.


How can a girl be perfect if she doesn't listen to her parents? Then it's a bad girl and bad girl do cheat. So you don't need her if she decides to disobey her parents.


I'd put up an ultimate to her, either you seriously consider me as marriage material, and that does mean introducing me to your parents, or we can no longer see each other.


You have to understand her parents as well, why are they giving her daughter away? Because she's a little wh0re, having extra-marital affairs left and right, and most likely not just with you.


I think in your culture woman has to be a virgin to marry, picture the face of her fiance when he finds out she is used.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[vivek59234]

You have 3 choices:


A) Force her to marry you despite her parent's wishes.

B) See her as **** buddy privately.

C) Break it all off.



My personal favorite is C. Because if you considering girl seriously she has to be the whole package, has wonderful mother and father, etc.. If you force her A she is just junk. If you force her B you are just using her and most likely stuck with junk and missing other possibilities.


How can a girl be perfect if she doesn't listen to her parents? Then it's a bad girl and bad girl do cheat. So you don't need her if she decides to disobey her parents.


I'd put up an ultimate to her, either you seriously consider me as marriage material, and that does mean introducing me to your parents, or we can no longer see each other.


You have to understand her parents as well, why are they giving her daughter away? Because she's a little wh0re, having extra-marital affairs left and right, and most likely not just with you.


I think in your culture woman has to be a virgin to marry, picture the face of her fiance when he finds out she is used.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for your advise and you are absolutely right on this. However, sometimes situation goes worst in India because of parents. Even if she wants to be with me and want to run she actually can't because of culture and lot of other values involved.

But my question is what if I keep her on long term basis? We can have a nice relationship because she wants to continue with me. At least for 1 year till she gets married and see how it goes?

She is going to be working with me for whole life in my office.

What do you think and how to deal with this?

 

[corrector]

Thank you for your advise and you are absolutely right on this. However, sometimes situation goes worst in India because of parents. Even if she wants to be with me and want to run she actually can't because of culture and lot of other values involved.

But my question is what if I keep her on long term basis? We can have a nice relationship because she wants to continue with me. At least for 1 year till she gets married and see how it goes?

She is going to be working with me for whole life in my office.

What do you think and how to deal with this?

At this point you are committing adultery with her by continuing any relationship with her. Can't you just find another girl?

 

[vivek59234]

At this point you are committing adultery with her by continuing any relationship with her. Can't you just find another girl?

Yes you are right... and I know you guys are very practical and honest. But she ditched me and she still wants to be ****ed by me. Shall I continue ? Shall I leave her ?

 

[vivek59234]

I have oneties and I have screwed up by giving her so much attention.

But still there are chances till she gets married. She is only engaged.

I am still thinking about possibilities

 

[Uncharted]

I have oneitis

Yes. Stop.

 

[In10se]

I'm sorry to say, but your culture is extremely archaic and while I think its nice to meet someone, lose your virginity to them and stay together for life; you miss out on experiences and the chance to figure out what is right for you. I can't understand how parents in that culture keep reinforcing the tradition, don't they get pushed into marriages that they initially didn't even want? And then settled because of societal pressure? If she wants to be with you and you want to be with her, you need to either talk to her soon to be fiance or her parents and explain your thoughts. Ask them probing questions, like don't you want your daughter to be happy? You seem to be a desirable man with his own business, why don't they approve of you? Is the other dude a prince or something, lol.

 

[vivek59234]

I'm sorry to say, but your culture is extremely archaic and while I think its nice to meet someone, lose your virginity to them and stay together for life; you miss out on experiences and the chance to figure out what is right for you. I can't understand how parents in that culture keep reinforcing the tradition, don't they get pushed into marriages that they initially didn't even want? And then settled because of societal pressure? If she wants to be with you and you want to be with her, you need to either talk to her soon to be fiance or her parents and explain your thoughts. Ask them probing questions, like don't you want your daughter to be happy? You seem to be a desirable man with his own business, why don't they approve of you? Is the other dude a prince or something, lol.

Lol its really funny but believe me, some parents are very reserved and they think different way. They only believe in inter caste marriage. We have so many caste in India. This is not a problem in my case but mostly in all families because of father and mother's pride girls always suffer. They give up their whole life and marry someone whom they don't even know. They will be treated like a maid and servant.

But to be honest my girl had to take a stand for me.

I think we can't say anything till she gets married because she is just getting engaged now. How to deal with my oneties? She really wants to be with me so why not keep her and take a chance ? Hard game is that I always become desperate. How to play cool and be a perfect gamer ?

Thanks