"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Girl is asking to join her for diner with a friend, friday

Von

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This girl I meet a few months ago that I went out last friday with at an event... she left to a restaurant with a guy but invited me over. She left in a cab with him (I am sure he's gay or whatever I don't care)

That night she found my friends great (and asked their number.... friends are girls), she said I was hilarious and funny....

Anyway.... Today she asked me to join her for diner on Friday March 11 and join her and a friend (no clue if its a guy or not)

It's my bday on Thursday but got nothing planned that week for that and actually friday March 11 is the only day I have free during March.

She seems interested (says I am funny, inviting me to join her, she never stop looking at me or reacting)

She saw me flirt with other women, get their numbers, also once mentionned.... 'why you don't go hit on her... and i said something which got her rocking on the chair' at the restaurant.

I got dance lessons + dance night on that Friday (from 7 to 9pm).... Go to the dance or join her and the friend?

She's my type and it flows with her.... oh funny thing (she's a friend of the oneitis girl I had... although they never spoke to each other last friday... they were both there)

To go or not? How should I say ?

How should I escalate with her
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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fastlife

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Rule of thumb:
  • Never turn down an invitation if you don't have anything going on.
  • Never cancel existing plans for a last minute invitation.
In this case, I'd stick to the dance. Tell her you're booked til 9 but it's your only free night this month, and if she's free after that then you can grab a coffee, share drinks at your place, etc. If she is genuinely interested, she'll make your schedule work for her (and you can get better logistics, anyway)--and if she doesn't, unlikely you could've pulled by wasting 2 hours at dinner with her and her friend.
 

Tamura

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Agree with fastlife. Still enough time after the dancing lesson. Good luck! :)
 

Von

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Interesting divergence of opinions

Agreed I don't want to change my plans for her but she interest me (she called the invite) and being social is important.(other than dancing got nothing else going on)

I texted her: What time?

She replied right away with: Drinks at 7pm, Food at 8:30pm

My gym training will be done, the dancing lesson would finish at 9pm and free-style after that.... (so I go I am missing part of the dancing)

The restaurant is like one of the best in town lol and I am craving for it... but I doubt I can wait that long before eating, and I am curious about her..... I do need to improve the 3way dynamic talk + I don't know if its a guy or a girl


Plan of action:

I reply: ''I am booked until 9pm and Friday is the only free day I have in march. I'll join after

Good way to proceed?
 
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"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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fastlife

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I reply: ''I'm booked til 9 but Friday's the only day I have this month. Lose your friend and let's grab [coffee, desert, a drink at my place].

Good way to proceed?
There's a good chance she can't lose her friend that quickly, but she might (if she really likes you her friend'll make it happen) and you'll be in the clear. If she can't then you can just say, No worries. I can meet up with y'all at [whatever restauarant] at 9:15 for [whatever]. But you've demonstrated your intent (to get her alone); you've planted that seed, and it won't seem weird if you try to isolate her later or if her friend conveniently 'has to feed her dog' or something.
 
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pyros

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Interesting divergence of opinions

Agreed I don't want to change my plans for her but she interest me (she called the invite) and being social is important.(other than dancing got nothing else going on)

I texted her: What time?

She replied right away with: Drinks at 7pm, Food at 8:30pm

My gym training will be done, the dancing lesson would finish at 9pm and free-style after that.... (so I go I am missing part of the dancing)

The restaurant is like one of the best in town lol and I am craving for it... but I doubt I can wait that long before eating, and I am curious about her..... I do need to improve the 3way dynamic talk + I don't know if its a guy or a girl


Plan of action:

I reply: ''I am booked until 9pm and Friday is the only free day I have in march. I'll join after

Good way to proceed?
I dont like your reply. It sounds as if you dont really want to go, because you did not even say why you cant.

Anyway, considering you havent even made out with this girl...this meeting is more than likely going nowhere. If she was into you, she would meet you one on one.

Besides, YOU SHOULD ASK HER IF HER FRIEND IS A GUY OR A GIRL. If it is a guy, I would not even go. If it is a girl I would go IF I DONT HAVE ANY OTHER THING TO DO, but don't expect anything good to happen.

So, 1st ask her if her friend is male or female
2nd if it is a girl AND you dont have any other plans, go and m
eet them at the time she said, forget about your dancing lesson just for this time.
 

Von

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I replied : ''I'm booked til 9 . Lose your friend and let's grab coffee/desert/after drink

Reason I didn't say : ''my place'' .... its because we never went on a date, kissed etc.... or ''Friday is the only time free'' might be left to too much interpretations

She replied after 4 minutes: Socialite! So just come after 9pm

So I guess my reply is : No worries, I'll meet you
 
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Von

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She also wants to bring my friends.

Oh well. Socializing is fun. Seems every girl i meet at those "professionnal parties for charity", all are looking for new friends/contact.

More people the better. Hopefully her "friend" is not my former oneitis (who i meet the same day and they were together)

I am just looking to have fun
 

kenpiffyjr

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Just be fun and flirt!

Sometimes that's what I think majority of guys are lacking. F the alpha beta analyzing....are cats fun to be around?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Igetit!

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prediction: pain
Lol....I had a different word in mind,but yeah...."pain" is sononomous with what I was thinking.


(Sniff,sniff)....anybody else smells that?

Sniff,sniff....smell like,(sniff)......like...

FRIENDZONE.
 
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Von

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Well it's definitely a salvageable situation, I've done it myself but as a general rule you should avoid these sorts of things because they often turn out to be an awkward, ballbusting, wasteful, and most of all incredibly boring time. On the flip side you're getting experience in the absolute most awkward possible game situation besides the gym.
Indeed.... My only fear is to be REALLY bored .... and when I am bored you don't want to be in the same place as me.

Talking about the gym.... there was this girl (10HB) gorgeous... although when I heard her speak it killed my day dreaming lol (the voice didn't match the face).... she's always there, every time I go at 11am.... Sunday, I waved at her while I was walking down the stairs and she was doing her workout...... she made eye contact, she turned her head lowered her eyes and put up such a warm but shy smile (the face.... super happy but really shy or unexpected).... I keep going down and could feel her staring at me (with analytical eyes) while I was entering the musculation room.

Later, she came over to my area... we crossed each other fast but while passing she said ''Hi! How you doing'' first. She did some strech and 2 minutes later she left my spot. Maybe I should have stop and talk to her but I was soo focus on my workout and bandaging my cuts (I cut my arm)... due to being stressed on time.

Anyway, there was a contact made for next time.... and she's not from my ''network, or parties'' so it will be clear.

For the friday restaurant, I'll just game naturally and tease them
 
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