Girl invites you over, then says she cna't hang?

[Sp1kez]

So I met this HB9 at a bar, and I didn't have to do anything to get her, I was actually there with a friend, his girlfriend and his gf's roomate. I got there late and they already had a table, next to this HB trio, I made eye contact with them when I walked in but that was it, I was just enjoying myself and halfway through the night one of them slips me her number on her receipt.

few days go by, we talked, she wants to hangout...I had a fight this past weekend and last week i was cutting weight so I told her I could only do coffee...we ended up playing putt putt after coffee and when I took her back home she said she wanted to see me again.

Friday night after I weighed in we went out to dinner and watched a movie @ her place, she fell asleep halfway through (middle school teacher, wakes up early) then we made out for a bit and I left (didnt **** close cos mood wasnt there)

I was busy saturday, so she says she wants to hangout sunday, I tell her ok.


So sunday comes by and I head over with my game face on, I'm banging tonight! I get there and shes doing laundry and cleaning, so we're just chilling on the couch and she says we're going to the pool to cookout, I'm like sweet.

Some dude calls her and from the sounds of it he was coming to the pool also, immediately after she hangs up she says "I have a lot of guy friends, actually more guy friends than girls" I'm thinking.....figures, shes hot of course....but in my head this raised a red flag (what did she try to accomplish by telling me this info??) then her roomate calls and after she hangs up she tells me "I'm sorry I guess they wanted it to be only us(girl, roomate, roomates bf and the other guy) for the cookout" I got up, told her "I'm heading out, didn't know you had plans" and head for the door, as I'm reaching for the handle she grabs my hand and pulls it towards her, turning me, and gives me a few kisses and a hug.....I leave, feeling hurt and pissed.


I'm posting this because I need advise on how to handle this situation, should I just stop all contact until she comes back crawling? Should I just drop her completely? if she does come back, should I turn her down on her initial request to see me then let her try again??

A DJ buddy of mine put it this way "Let her contact you, bottom line is she was testing you with what happened yesterday. If she was really interested she would have said no to the pool party thing to hang with you. "



Bestow upon me your wise advise Don Juans

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

Well it sounds like whenever she proposed a time to hangout, you immediately agreed. Some would say to seem more busy and not be so available to her. What happened sucks, but it's obvious she's still interested if she's initiating contact and wanting to hang out.

It sounds as if her friend is trying to set her up with some guy or they're all just part of the same close-knit group and thought it would be weird for you to hang with them. Either way, it was kind of rude, but these things can happen. I'd say cool off contact and make her come to you again (like your friend said). If she does initiate again, she'll probably ask you if you are mad or something like that, but just act like it didn't phase you.

 

[Kevin Feng]

Ok, your reading way too deep into the situation and your drawing conclusions based off something that could have gone either way.

One thing I learned from Johnny Wolf from ABC's of Attraction is to run compliance tests instead of looking for IOI's and IOD's, there's no way to guarantee a certain outcome unless you test for it.

Girls just say random crap sometimes. Think about it, most PUA's say the same thing, it's a DHV switch, I tell girls that I have lots of girls as friends, and perhaps she's just doing the same thing.

In anycase, you shouldn't flake out next time. Your job as a PUA is to keep escalating and to keep escalating consistently.

Hope this helps, shoot me a PM if you got any detailed questions.

-Kevin

 

[Sp1kez]

She sent me a text earlier "so how was your day?"

I have not replied, should I or shouldnt iI?

PS: I havent talked to her since the incident (about 36hours ago)

 

[Faded Image]

It can be a lot of things that went down in that one phone call.

1. It can be either her roomate or her roomate's boyfriend wants her to hook up with the other guy and your presence will on hinder that process.

2. The other guy could be an ex or someone she's wanted to hook-up with and like #1, your presence will on intensify the situation.

3. She could be a member of a female dating site and she's applying what she's learned on you.

It's hard to give you accurate advice from that one incident and I think you should roll with the flow and post here what happens over the next couple of days or weeks. Then, we'll be able to help you in whether you should persue this or hit the eject button.

Don't hit the next button just yet because you don't have enough to go off of.

P.S. It's to late to respond to her text now.

 

[AAAgent]

stop putting her on a pedestal. This will help in a few ways:

First you wouldn't feel hurt as much or even care at all depending on how involved you are at that given moment.

Second, this sh!t test of hers won't phase you and you will gain the upper hand. Why? because she doesn't have the attention from you that she desires so she will have to get it another way, which usually involves sex.

Third, you will feel more confident since there is less emphasis on being effected by the woman and more emphasis on your natural self.

Basically what I see she was trying to do was to see how you would react to her having an abundant amount of guys at her beckoning. Of course you reacted the same way most of the guys react and FAILED. If she wants to go have fun, let her go have fun. how would you feel if your girl spoiled or day out?

She is not your girlfriend. You have not fvcked her. Your friends don't even really know her. Why are you worked up over her anyway. If she cancels then oh well, go pick up another chick. She saw some potential in you that's why she let you go over to her place, but before she gives you the goodies she wants to make sure your no fake dj pretending to be a real one.

I've had this sh!t test a few times and i just respond with a :

"Don't worry about it. Hope you have a good time. "

 

[Five To One]

Xxx

 

[GrimPhallic]

BS its not too late. Be a d!ck but dont be a d!ck, if you know what I mean. Reply and say "My day is busy, how is yours?".

 

[GrimPhallic]

Dont ignore her unless you next her man. You can only fvck a chick like her anyway, dont expect anything more...

 

[GrimPhallic]

If you already made out with her, set something up at her place again, and slip the finger down there this time while making out. She wont care.

 

[Credos]

This is so the situation that I was in 4 years ago, but I was more afcish then how you acted now.

SO far you're doing great, she's testing you, and trying to see how far your boarders are. "How far can I push this guy before he goes wierd on me?"

If this would happen to me today I would react: Ow only you guys, thats no problem! Want me to help you get your stuff ready? *Like I'm super happy I don't have to go, and hoping she's gone really fast*

I have a lot of guy friends, actually more guy friends than girls

translation: "Blablabla bla blablabla bla... I'm important, you should care about that, people think I'm hot...I'm trying to be an AW!"
Don't listen to it, its bullsh*t, best thing is to make fun of it (If they have manboobs you could consider them 50% female, that kindof stuff, random sh*t)

Anyhow, the fact that you feel hurt (and probebly a bit jealous) already, shows you are very intrested in this girl, so your ego is obligating you to score this girl. I love that feeling and I love it when I'm right about it . Question now, How to win her over? How she ended your leaving situation, I think she cares about you.

Your friend was right IMO that she should contact you first, if she really does care, she will, let her try to setup a date, but you choose how and what. Do something you wanna do, now you test her back, is she flexible or is it only her terms?
I would also be so friendly as to return the feeling of jealousy. Invite her to something where you bring some of your friends (example: I was thinking of going bowling with my friends this weekend, you should join!), be polite and introduce her to them, then don't pay to much attention to her and flirt with some of the female friends (in this example: talk alot with the other girls, teach them how to decently bowl if they really suck at it, get kinda touchy with them, and don't with HB9)

(BTW: So make sure none of your friends steal your girl, just because your not giving her to much attention! :trouble: bring the right people). If you get her jealous you know your in, and women are SOOOOO bad at hiding their jealousy , she'll prolly act all mean around the girl you were flirting a bit with.
If she's pissed off about it, you can probebly score, and it would be rather entertaining how hypocrite she is, considering she can make you jealous, but you making her jealous ain't allowed.
If she acts casual: Was she jealous at the time? Yes: you can score; No: warning sign!
If she doesn't care this would be a major warning sign: she's using you, make sure you have no feelings for her or bail.

Ask your friend about this, he seems like a smart guy, and he's better informed on the situation so he'll prolly have good judgement I think.

 

[Sp1kez]

i replied to that text, told her I had a crazy day and that I was going out 4 cinco de mayo celebrations and she could join if she wanted....she said she couldnt cos her bedtime is at 10 (shes a school teacher) and I told her its alright and if she wanted to buy a cup of coffee the next afternoon and she said she had to stay after work training of end of year test giving, so i told her to hit me up when she can make some time and deleted her # from my phone.

It could go two ways now

1) I never hear from her again

2) she contacts me and wants to see me (what to do here? ignore or not?)


I don't seem to have done anything wrong, but I guess I came across as AFC by not busting her for ditching me, and instead just walking out....

I'm just really confused about this one and just want to learn from my mistakes, I'm not new to DJing but this was a challenge I failed

 

[Credos]

Did you not read any reply... then don't ask for help and call your post a report

 

[drak_ool]

I don't seem to have done anything wrong,

Oh really? how about this:

i replied to that text, told her I had a crazy day and that I was going out 4 cinco de mayo celebrations and she could join if she wanted....she said she couldnt cos her bedtime is at 10 (shes a school teacher) and I told her its alright and if she wanted to buy a cup of coffee the next afternoon

2 mistakes here: first, when you reply to her txt you propose a meeting right away, instead of saying something teasing, that would get her attention. Second, by giving her an open invitation, you send across a message that you have no other girls on your radar (her thinking: "if he had other options he wouldn't invite me to come right off the bat")

Second, when she rejected your proposal the first time, you propose another meeting right away! This only reinforces her idea that you have no other options at the moment (i.e. you are pretty desperate) and that you are always available to hang out with her

Ok, so what do you do next? obviously, you let her contact you again. In case she does, you respond with something playful, and txt with her back and forth for a while b4 you propose anything. It seems like this girl is attracted to you, but she likes to play games. If you don't feel comfortable playing her game (and from what you ve posted here, it seems that you don't) try to meet up with her at a bar, club, get physical with her and take her home. BUT don't "invite her out" to a bar, even if she accepted she would have her defenses up. The best is to mingle her group of friends with yours, hopefully you have some wingmen who can second you and the alcohol in her system should do the rest if she really wants you.

If you persevere in the art of DJing, you will end up learning some "finesse" approaches too, but for now this should do it.

good luck!