Girl I'm dating likes to tell about a man who's approaching her

[Fela Kuti]

Hello,

So this girl I'm dating/seeing likes to tell me about a man who's approaching her, but in a complaining/ridiculing way, eg. "He asked me about you and our dates, it's really awkward", "Look at these cheesy compliments" (while showing his texts to me). Is this a "yellow" flag? What do you think is happening here?

Humblebrag?
Showing me that I'm her main man?
Attention-seeking?
Showing me that she's a prize?
Sh1t test of jealousy?

So far I handle it in a relaxed way, like, "oh poor guy" or "haha seriously he said that?"

 

[Casillas]

Keep your frame bro she is only trying to test you.

 

[Tictac]

And this guy has her number why?

 

[Fela Kuti]

And this guy has her number why?

They were actually good friends before he decided to make a move. Tbh I don't find him as a threat.

 

[RangerMIke]

Test....

She wants to see if you are going to become unhinged, just be amused by it and don't give it any thought.

Women get validation from the attention of men... Yep, they do. She might be giving you a signal that you aren't feeding her ego.

 

[GS750]

She does it to let you know that she is desirable
She does it to make you jealous and to see your reaction
She does it to awaken the white knight inside of you to do things for her, treat her better, buy things for her, pay more attention to her, the list goes on.
She does it to let you know that you have competition. It could be considered manipulation, that's for you to decide. Either way, laugh it off and don't give her the reaction that she wants. Sounds like some immature high school games to me.

 

[Trump]

Hello,

So this girl I'm dating/seeing likes to tell me about a man who's approaching her, but in a complaining/ridiculing way, eg. "He asked me about you and our dates, it's really awkward", "Look at these cheesy compliments" (while showing his texts to me). Is this a "yellow" flag? What do you think is happening here?

Humblebrag?
Showing me that I'm her main man?
Attention-seeking?
Showing me that she's a prize?
Sh1t test of jealousy?

So far I handle it in a relaxed way, like, "oh poor guy" or "haha seriously he said that?"

Personally I wouldn't ignore it or laugh it off, I would say "Why are you showing me this?"

I would call her on it, otherwise she may think you don't care or she is dealing with a dumb guy.

 

[skinnyguy]

Ya my girl tells me about creepy guys who hit on her.

So I tell her about the creepy girls who hit on me.

Just don't get jealous

 

[Skyline]

Look at it this way, if she's showing you then she probably isn't cheating.

 

[chris1117]

Dude ！ obvious, she is testing u to see if u will show any desire if someone already after her, and of course she is trying to empress u, however u might wanna be aware of she probably just showing off , i dunno abt this girl, so u know her personality better than me , is she just showing off?

 

[devilkingx2]

my opinion would be that she may be trying to make you jealous, but i'd be very wary.

put yourself in her shoes, what would possess you to tell a woman details about the other women you're talking to? why would you think she cares? how are you so sure she doesn't like you and isn't gonna be hurt/jealous?

would you risk it with a girl you like? probably only under a careful and controlled situation to try and make her/see if she gets jealous. otherwise you'd be playing with fire.

 

[Serenity]

She's making it clear she wants you over him, and expressing what behavior she doesn't like from a guy. She's open about the fact that he's hitting on her and tells you how she feels about it. It would be more concerning if you knew about this guy and she didn't mention it or worse deny it. No reason to do anything differently, if you feel threatened by this you're going to raise red flags (jealousy). Just be cool about it and switch focus to you two, she wants that anyways.

I'd say you're handling it well.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

I used to "brush off" this kind of nonsense during my 4-year long BPD relationship and yes, she loved the fact that I'd be "unfazed" and that would mean a passed shyt-test and a couple weeks of crazy sex and positive vibes.

The problem was she also got the impression she could get away with it anytime, and this never ended. Eventually, it really comes off as disrespect and will make you angry. It's bound to end badly.

I have had one relationship since then. It lasted 6 months and she never played these games until the very end, which ultimately got her dumped. I set the stage early on that this crap was unacceptable and she took me at my word for months. She only pulled these tricks to save face when I was drifting away from her because she had nothing to lose, otherwise she wouldn't have. Our relationship wasn't built on this.

There are 2 key factors you must have in your favor when running this stern-alpha game:
1. You must have already banged this girl.
2. It must be early enough in your relationship that you are still establishing boundaries.

 

[logicallefty]

OP, your issue is a classic one. I ditto ^what most others have said.. Keep your frame it's a dinosaur turd sized sh[]t test.

One line I have came back with in these situations or similar is the ole AGREE AND AMPLIFY and I say "sounds like a decent guy. He should go out with me sometime and be my wing man." :crackup:

run hamster, run.. run... ruuuuuun,.... :crackup: